dwight 12345 Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 She broke up with me about 3 weeks ago because she was losing feelings. She told me a week before the break up she was losing feelings. But we stayed together to work it out. I then brought it up a week later and she said she still was and it ended then. I have no idea why. She just kept sayingIts me not you. She said this happened to her in her past relationships too. It all started duringtthanksgiving break when we were off school for a week. She Said when she's away from me her feelings lessen. And now we are on winter break for 3 weeks. Sometimes she texts me random stuff just to talk to me. Like 4 days into the break up I was ignoring her and she texted me saying sherreally needs me right now to comfort her. I was there for her I even called her and told her I'm here for you. I think I shouldn't have said that? I still feel like she likes me because during school last week she kept trying to get my attention and watching me from a distance. I don't know if that means she misses me or what? I am positive that there is no one else and she is a very faithful person. Right after we broke up she said shewanted to go back to friends with benefits but I told her I wasn't going to give her that or be friends with her. 4 days ago I texted her by accident and I clearly told her wrong person and she kept texting me few times. I was confused and I felt like I was being toyed with because I wasnt in control anymore. She basically told me right after we broke up that she knows I can't stay away from her. That's when I knew I lost all control. So 4 days ago when she texted me I told her: "Even tho I disagree with the break up, I do respect your decision. But I would appreciate it if you ONLY contacted me if it is to move towards reconciliation." She hasn't replied. I felt strong again after I told her that. Inside I'm dying to talk to her I'm getting closer and closer to texting her. But if I do I know she'll think I'm weak. Can I still win her back? Maybe when school opens again?
mammasita Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Nope, no contact is not the way to get her back. If you do that, you'll be playing games. I.e. ignoring her on purpose in the hopes that she will miss you and want you back. No bueno.
Author dwight 12345 Posted December 19, 2012 Author Posted December 19, 2012 But I already told her to only contact me for reconciliation...
mammasita Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 But I already told her to only contact me for reconciliation... So move on with your life. Focus on yourself. No contact should be used to heal, not to try to win someone back. Read this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/359816-truth-about-successful-no-contact
Author dwight 12345 Posted December 19, 2012 Author Posted December 19, 2012 So move on with your life. Focus on yourself. No contact should be used to heal, not to try to win someone back. Read this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/359816-truth-about-successful-no-contact So how would I win her back?
mammasita Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 So how would I win her back? Honestly, there is really nothing you can do to win her back at this point. She's obviously not into you as much as you are her, and that's not your fault. She's not ready. It's not a reflection of your worth as a boyfriend or person. The best thing you can do is move on, focus on yourself and don't pester her. It's usually the point where you can wake up in the morning and be OK knowing she's not a part of your life that they will come back around. Independence and confidence are attractive. You will only annoy her and end up hurt (even more so) if you become the begging, crying, pleading, gift giving, sweet talking ex.
Author dwight 12345 Posted December 19, 2012 Author Posted December 19, 2012 Honestly, there is really nothing you can do to win her back at this point. She's obviously not into you as much as you are her, and that's not your fault. She's not ready. It's not a reflection of your worth as a boyfriend or person. The best thing you can do is move on, focus on yourself and don't pester her. It's usually the point where you can wake up in the morning and be OK knowing she's not a part of your life that they will come back around. Independence and confidence are attractive. You will only annoy her and end up hurt (even more so) if you become the begging, crying, pleading, gift giving, sweet talking ex. Its just so hard to move on but you're right. What should I do in school and class because she sits right next to me and when I'm with my friends she comes there too. Should I ignore her or build up our friendship again. I know that I will always look at her as my gf .
LostOne1 Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Honestly, there is really nothing you can do to win her back at this point. She's obviously not into you as much as you are her, and that's not your fault. She's not ready. It's not a reflection of your worth as a boyfriend or person. The best thing you can do is move on, focus on yourself and don't pester her. It's usually the point where you can wake up in the morning and be OK knowing she's not a part of your life that they will come back around. Independence and confidence are attractive. You will only annoy her and end up hurt (even more so) if you become the begging, crying, pleading, gift giving, sweet talking ex. I agree with you... but what do you mean by "She's not ready."
Author dwight 12345 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 Honestly, there is really nothing you can do to win her back at this point. She's obviously not into you as much as you are her, and that's not your fault. She's not ready. It's not a reflection of your worth as a boyfriend or person. The best thing you can do is move on, focus on yourself and don't pester her. It's usually the point where you can wake up in the morning and be OK knowing she's not a part of your life that they will come back around. Independence and confidence are attractive. You will only annoy her and end up hurt (even more so) if you become the begging, crying, pleading, gift giving, sweet talking ex. I also already got her a necklace for Christmas when we were going out, but she doesn't know. She got me something too but she told me the day after we broke up and she told me if I wanted it and I told her to do whatever she wants with it. So she returned it. Should I send her a pic of it? Maybe she'll think I'm still caring and thoughtful.
na49 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I also already got her a necklace for Christmas when we were going out, but she doesn't know. She got me something too but she told me the day after we broke up and she told me if I wanted it and I told her to do whatever she wants with it. So she returned it. Should I send her a pic of it? Maybe she'll think I'm still caring and thoughtful. She won't think you're caring and thoughtful. You'll think you're caring and thoughtful. Don't do anything.
Author dwight 12345 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 Honestly, there is really nothing you can do to win her back at this point. She's obviously not into you as much as you are her, and that's not your fault. She's not ready. It's not a reflection of your worth as a boyfriend or person. The best thing you can do is move on, focus on yourself and don't pester her. It's usually the point where you can wake up in the morning and be OK knowing she's not a part of your life that they will come back around. Independence and confidence are attractive. You will only annoy her and end up hurt (even more so) if you become the begging, crying, pleading, gift giving, sweet talking ex. Its just so hard to move on but you're right. What should I do in school and class because she sits right next to me and when I'm with my friends she comes there too. Should I ignore her or build up our friendship again. I know that I will always look at her as my gf .
justin8 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Same thing happened with me. She said she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore - but she needed me - and I took care of her even after that. This went on for 2 months. End result - she was fine and moved on with her life after initial period. And boy, when she actually didn't need me anymore, I realized what I'd done to myself for the girl! I stayed with her to get back to normal, whereas healing period for me started only after she started ignoring me for her new friends. So, I'd suggest you - Do not stick around her in hopes of getting back! That doesn't happen when you stick around even after the girl has clearly said NO. You'd end up feeling used by the girl, even though it can't be directly put on her - she'd made herself clear that she doesn't want to be in a relationship. No Contact might not get her back, but staying with her also won't. Also, NC isn't for getting her back, but you realizing that you don't want her back anymore My best wishes
Author dwight 12345 Posted December 21, 2012 Author Posted December 21, 2012 Honestly, there is really nothing you can do to win her back at this point. She's obviously not into you as much as you are her, and that's not your fault. She's not ready. It's not a reflection of your worth as a boyfriend or person. The best thing you can do is move on, focus on yourself and don't pester her. It's usually the point where you can wake up in the morning and be OK knowing she's not a part of your life that they will come back around. Independence and confidence are attractive. You will only annoy her and end up hurt (even more so) if you become the begging, crying, pleading, gift giving, sweet talking ex. So I was using my friends phone yesterday to talk aboutus because they are closer. I asked " Are you guys still talking? How are you guys? She said I just want him to move on if he doesn't want to talk to me it'll just make it easier to move on. I then said "You guys should be talking though because the bond after a relationship is still strong for a long time." She agreed but said "What is he thinking"? I guess she didn't want to contact me because she thought I wasn't over her. I then said " Idk what he his thinking but I think he is over you because he brought a date, I'm not sure though." She replied saying I just want a girl that is fit for him and I'm happy for him as a friend." I said "He doesn't want a relationship because he just got out of one." I also said " You should talk to him anyways because you don't want to lose the bond and you never know you might get that spark back." She replied saying "I don't know what to do, I know that spark won't come back, trust me. He just annoys me now and Idk why, its just me not him. This happens to me a lot I just lose interest.".......At that point I was convinced that she really did break up with me because she lost interest. I just don't understandhow to get past me being annoying when I barely talk to her and its just how she is?? I also noticed when she broke up with me I was being a dick and told her idgaf about her when I really did. She started to cry too. She was using that against me during these texts and being coldhearted like I was. She even posted a picture saying "smile even though it hurts" and started to unfollow me. So I feel like part of this was my fault and I should contact her saying I'm sorry for countless things and I don't want to lose you as a close person. Then again I don't know if I should say that because I still like her. Or if I should wait for her to contact me. Which she might because "myfriend" kind of convinced her to. What should I do?? How long should I wait for her to contact me before I do??
Bumaga vsyo sterpit Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 So I was using my friends phone yesterday to talk aboutus because they are closer. I asked " Are you guys still talking? How are you guys? She said I just want him to move on if he doesn't want to talk to me it'll just make it easier to move on. I then said "You guys should be talking though because the bond after a relationship is still strong for a long time." She agreed but said "What is he thinking"? I guess she didn't want to contact me because she thought I wasn't over her. I then said " Idk what he his thinking but I think he is over you because he brought a date, I'm not sure though." She replied saying I just want a girl that is fit for him and I'm happy for him as a friend." I said "He doesn't want a relationship because he just got out of one." I also said " You should talk to him anyways because you don't want to lose the bond and you never know you might get that spark back." She replied saying "I don't know what to do, I know that spark won't come back, trust me. He just annoys me now and Idk why, its just me not him. This happens to me a lot I just lose interest.".......At that point I was convinced that she really did break up with me because she lost interest. I just don't understandhow to get past me being annoying when I barely talk to her and its just how she is?? I also noticed when she broke up with me I was being a dick and told her idgaf about her when I really did. She started to cry too. She was using that against me during these texts and being coldhearted like I was. She even posted a picture saying "smile even though it hurts" and started to unfollow me. So I feel like part of this was my fault and I should contact her saying I'm sorry for countless things and I don't want to lose you as a close person. Then again I don't know if I should say that because I still like her. Or if I should wait for her to contact me. Which she might because "myfriend" kind of convinced her to. What should I do?? How long should I wait for her to contact me before I do?? Come on man, the writing's on the wall.
Author dwight 12345 Posted December 21, 2012 Author Posted December 21, 2012 Come on man, the writing's on the wall. Sorry I just really like her. I'm trying to get over her. Please explain what you are saying?
cavalier99 Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Hi dwight. Listen. Sorry you are going thru this. I know it is soo hard to accept but it is 100 PERCENT OVER. All the stuff you wrote about is drama you don't need. You are down the rabbit hole and must climb out. To begin to heal. They only way to regain some semblance of sanity is to totally and completely remove every last trace of her from your life. GO NC with the intention of never looking back. She is history. She doesn't exist now. Erase her from you mind. How do you do this....Cry, mourn, throw ****, get it all out and start to heal and stay NC LIKE YOU LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! AND KILL ALL HOPE OF GETTING BACK TOGETHER. I know this sucks but it is the path to recovery. Otherwise the pain will just continue. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 So I was using my friends phone yesterday to talk aboutus because they are closer. I asked " Are you guys still talking? How are you guys? She said I just want him to move on if he doesn't want to talk to me it'll just make it easier to move on. I then said "You guys should be talking though because the bond after a relationship is still strong for a long time." She agreed but said "What is he thinking"? I guess she didn't want to contact me because she thought I wasn't over her. I then said " Idk what he his thinking but I think he is over you because he brought a date, I'm not sure though." She replied saying I just want a girl that is fit for him and I'm happy for him as a friend." I said "He doesn't want a relationship because he just got out of one." I also said " You should talk to him anyways because you don't want to lose the bond and you never know you might get that spark back." She replied saying "I don't know what to do, I know that spark won't come back, trust me. He just annoys me now and Idk why, its just me not him. This happens to me a lot I just lose interest.".......At that point I was convinced that she really did break up with me because she lost interest. I just don't understandhow to get past me being annoying when I barely talk to her and its just how she is?? I also noticed when she broke up with me I was being a dick and told her idgaf about her when I really did. She started to cry too. She was using that against me during these texts and being coldhearted like I was. She even posted a picture saying "smile even though it hurts" and started to unfollow me. So I feel like part of this was my fault and I should contact her saying I'm sorry for countless things and I don't want to lose you as a close person. Then again I don't know if I should say that because I still like her. Or if I should wait for her to contact me. Which she might because "myfriend" kind of convinced her to. What should I do?? How long should I wait for her to contact me before I do?? So you pretended to be your friend to talk to her and get inside information? That's pretty sh--ty dude. From what it sounds like you have to stay away. If your presence annoys her, then having contact with her isn't going to help your cause. Though by reading this post, I don't think you should even try to get back with her. Impersonating her friend to try to get "dirt" is a pretty d--k move. 1
Mike_d Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 So how would I win her back? You don't. Period. Girls who breakup have already processed the loss while they were with you. That's why the last few weeks/months were horrible. When they go they are gone. Stop attempting to negotiate over something you have zero control over. People are telling you straight and you're playing the "I don't understand" game because you clearly get the message, you just are not willing to accept it. You are trying to think your way out of this, isn't a possibility at this point. All you can do is move on with your life. There are plenty of other girls, this one was not a special snowflake, there is a better one out there, just have to be at the point where you are healthy enough to get involved
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