NavyAirTraffic Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 NC is a piece of the "getting over process" and not all encompassing. If you look at your shoes and decide to put them on, the act of putting your shoes on has no significance, no purpose. You are now sitting there with your shoes on, that act has no significance without purpose. On the other hand, if you want to go to the mall you need to put your shoes on to achieve the goal. Same as getting over someone, you can't expect any true results from just implementing NC (putting your shoes on) without truly wanting to getting over them (the purpose). Successful NC- This starts with you DECIDING "I no longer want this person, I don't want someone who doesn't want me, I am moving on" (the purpose). NC becomes a natural step in this process. People that do NC just to do NC, or get their ex to miss them, or get their ex back FAIL. Fail at the REAL purpose, getting over them. They spend the majority of the time looking at their phone/in box constantly to see if their ex's called/texted/emailed. They do things to not move on, pass on opportunities to avoid hurting the chances of getting their ex back. NC is easy, as soon as you decide you don't want them back, decide you are moving on. Until you choose to not have them back, NC is pointless/purposeless (literally), like putting your shoes on for no reason. Until YOU decide to move on, to get over them, to not want them back (the purpose), NC will have very little effect. When you have decided, NC is a natural step in the process (it just happens). Why contact someone you don't want to be with? Why contact someone who doesn't deserve your amazing love? 1
Under The Radar Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 NC is a piece of the "getting over process" and not all encompassing. If you look at your shoes and decide to put them on, the act of putting your shoes on has no significance, no purpose. You are now sitting there with your shoes on, that act has no significance without purpose. On the other hand, if you want to go to the mall you need to put your shoes on to achieve the goal. Same as getting over someone, you can't expect any true results from just implementing NC (putting your shoes on) without truly wanting to getting over them (the purpose). Successful NC- This starts with you DECIDING "I no longer want this person, I don't want someone who doesn't want me, I am moving on" (the purpose). NC becomes a natural step in this process. People that do NC just to do NC, or get their ex to miss them, or get their ex back FAIL. Fail at the REAL purpose, getting over them. They spend the majority of the time looking at their phone/in box constantly to see if their ex's called/texted/emailed. They do things to not move on, pass on opportunities to avoid hurting the chances of getting their ex back. NC is easy, as soon as you decide you don't want them back, decide you are moving on. Until you choose to not have them back, NC is pointless/purposeless (literally), like putting your shoes on for no reason. Until YOU decide to move on, to get over them, to not want them back (the purpose), NC will have very little effect. When you have decided, NC is a natural step in the process (it just happens). Why contact someone you don't want to be with? Why contact someone who doesn't deserve your amazing love? This is great advice and amazingly worded. Thanks for taking the time to post this!
na49 Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 I've got my shoes on (NC). I'm having trouble going anywhere though (still haven't blocked her phone number even though I know I should). Great post though, I will add it to the other NC related guides that I read whenever I feel like contacting my ex or think about her too much.
Hopeful714 Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 I too have had my shoes on for 3 months now but have yet to leave the house. I can say though that my shoes are now beginning to feel much more comfortable on my feet. Thanks for this post. It is a wake up for me. Its time to take the next step. I still can't fully say I don't want him....but I do know I don't want what I had either. I hope that counts for something.
Dagorath Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 Absolutely fair post! I love it. Great metaphor. Although I think even if you have your shoes on and you're walking to the mall, there is still a tendency to glance back. Sometimes the first part of a break-up does consist of looking at your phone, or seeing what they post on facebook. As long as it weans off and you don't tease yourself with the possibility, it is not devastating, and very natural.
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