lovinit1968 Posted August 14, 2004 Share Posted August 14, 2004 What to do... Here's my deal.... I am 36, have two boys 4 and 6. Married 7 years. never unfaithful, never abusive. I have been up and down with my wife for about 6 mos now. we do not talk much anymore. we don't seem to have much in common anymore. about 3 month ago in the heat of an argument she said "maybe we should get a divorce" what she said just killed me inside. well we sort of made up and all is peaceful but I feel no attraction to her at all any more. I don't want to even sit by her on the couch for fear she will "try something" I know that if it were not for my boys I would leave. Do I stay miserable and faithful to a woman I don't think I love any longer or do I leave. If I leave I surely will not get my boys, I don't think I can stand being a weekend Dad. and I can't imagine what it will do to me financially. I have also been dealing with depression for about a year and all this crap isn't helping at all. I fear soon I will be bedridden and unable to deal with anything at all.... (yes, I am on meds and seeing someone) anyone else ever have or having the same problems? PD Link to post Share on other sites
derrycynthia Posted August 15, 2004 Share Posted August 15, 2004 I am on the other side of this..I got the "we have nothing in common anymore" line. I worked full time, took care of the house and kids, no one seemed to take care of me and I became resentful. Did you make time for you and your wife to go out on dates maybe once a month? My STBX gave up on me, you should really think before you give up on your wife. Link to post Share on other sites
blackheart Posted August 16, 2004 Share Posted August 16, 2004 When my wife and I seperated I thought it was the end of the world. In actuality things were no where near as bad as I expected. Yes being alone sucked but it actually wasn't any worse than being miserable all the time with her. I loved her. I still do. We made attempts at getting back together and the most recent just went down in flames as she has found another (see my post in coping). But what I do know from having seperated over one year ago is that many of my fears were unfounded. Financially I'm doing much better than before. We make the same and while we have jointed custody I actually have the kids 5 days a week so there is not child support. I know thats not the norm. And while things haven't always been great between she and I we've kept the kids out of it. And the misery of being alone didn't turn out to be as bad as the misery of being on pins and needles all the time. Its a hard comparison because the being alone is constant and there were times that I was happy in our marriage. But they were rare. At least for me, my tendency is to fixate on those rare happy times and extrapolate them to the whole marriage when that isn't the case. In my more rational moments I realize that while I'm not happy now, I'm happier than I was during our actual marriage. I hope you find a way to get your marriage on track. But know it doesn't have to be the end of the world if its not. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFaithfulWife Posted August 16, 2004 Share Posted August 16, 2004 Dear Lovin, I am wondering if you might be on Prozac? My husband was on prozac for depression for a period of 6 months at one time and it almost drove ME crazy. It was like living with Eeyore, you know the mule on Winnie the Pooh? He had a dead personality, didn't seem to care about anything much and he said later that it made him feel like he didn't love anyone, not even our kids. He said that until he got off the drug that he didn't realize that his feelings were dead because of the Prozac. Your wife may be experiencing the same thing, it is very hard to be loving to someone that seems to have no interest in anything, including her. Our life went through some serious turmoil. We talked divorce at that time , that was 8 years ago. We had some other problems just recently, he had an affair and had filed for divorce but changed his mind and we are now in counseling and doing very well. Please if you are on prozac , get off of it, give your body some time to adjust to being off it and then and only then reevaluate the relationship you are in. I wish you luck TFW Link to post Share on other sites
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