Mr. Lucky Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 I'm married. What expectations of fidelity regarding your spouse do you currently have in your marriage? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 It's too bad some men (or women) don't appreciate what they have until it's gone. It's too bad they so carelessly risk their marriage and their family for some cheap thrills. You've put cheap thrills ahead of your wife and children. How do you think that makes your wife feel? That you value her and your children so little, that you would want sluts on CL more than you want or value your wife and children? I think you don't understand the seriousness of your choices. This was not just some mistake, or some harmless curiosity. You were seeking sex with other women. That makes your wife feel like 2 cents. Like they (wife and kids) have so little value to you that you would risk losing them over crap. Hopefully, you've learned now not to risk your marriage over stupidity. Hopefully for you, it will not be too late to salvage the marriage, but many men don't get a second chance. The damage has been done. As others have said, do not minimize this to your wife. It will make her not trust you even more. All you can do is to admit to her that you were incredibly stupid and regret risking your marriage over this, and if she finds it in her heart to forgive you, you will be making this up to her in whatever way she needs you to, and how sorry you are for putting her in this position. That's all you can do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 It's too bad some men (or women) don't appreciate what they have until it's gone. Aint that the truth. After my x-wife started feeling the controlling nature of her new man, and actually getting hit by him, she started finding stupid little excuses to contact me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 I'm tired of hearing this load of crap from women that men shouldn't do this and that because it upsets their wife or gf. Men are quite simple ladies, they seek out what they don't get from their significant other. He wants to fantasize about women that want to pleasure him. Then such a man should remain single and make no commitments. This is much different than a 18yo guy that wants to screw every woman he can as some kind of ego trip. It's much the same as men who want to have an ongoing affair with a woman. We do this because the OW, she respects us, accepts us, and puts our happiness first over her own. LOL. First off, someone would have to be a moron to think that a cheater deserves respect. Secondly, you are deluding yourself that an OW respects you. They simply want to have fun with you. And the character of any woman that respects a guy with a view such as yours about women should be called into question. You mentioned that its understood that when women cheat its because they aren't getting their needs met. Not so. It just makes them cheating louses. Then you mention that men are viewed as pigs when they cheat. Well with your attitude, you aren't doing much to discredit that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 You mean - until the next time you get an itchy d*ck? That usually happens after you meet the women on Craigslist... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Thegameoflife Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 Then such a man should remain single and make no commitments. LOL. First off, someone would have to be a moron to think that a cheater deserves respect. Secondly, you are deluding yourself that an OW respects you. They simply want to have fun with you. And the character of any woman that respects a guy with a view such as yours about women should be called into question. You mentioned that its understood that when women cheat its because they aren't getting their needs met. Not so. It just makes them cheating louses. Then you mention that men are viewed as pigs when they cheat. Well with your attitude, you aren't doing much to discredit that. If only life was so absolute. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 If only life was so absolute. Is it so complicated to think that you shouldn't act like you're single when you are, in fact, married? There are some absolutes in life. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 If only life was so absolute. The issue of fidelity IS absolute. The vast majority of married people do not want to share their spouse with others and they expect their spouse to honor his promise of fidelity. For those that don't want to be monogamous, they have the choice of staying single. To promise fidelity to a spouse and then deceive that spouse and seek others is dishonest and dishonorable, and such a man (or woman) who has those intentions to seek out others has no business in getting married or staying married. The choice is very simple--you want to be a player, then stay single. You want a monagamous marriage with all that that brings, then stay monogamous. You can't have both a marriage and a single player lifestyle, unless both parties agree to an open relationship, and that is rare to find anyone willing to go for that. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 If only life was so absolute. The kind of thing one says when they're trying to rationalize their own missteps and failings. Life may not be absolute but we're absolutely responsible for our own lives... Mr. Lucky 3 Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 If only life was so absolute. Well if life and relationships are so laisezz-faire for you and s*** happens, then its best you stay single. Why make any commitments with an attitude such as yours? Link to post Share on other sites
shatteredspirit Posted January 1, 2013 Share Posted January 1, 2013 The day he set out the call for women on CL is the day he cheated. You don't have to do the deed to be unfaithful. He knew what he was doing on CL, he just didn't have the opportunity to hook up with any of the women before his wife caught him. Uh huh. I can see the outcome of that one. Maury: "When asked did you intend to meet any of the women on Craigslist if the opportunity arose.....you said no, and the lie detector test determined.....thats a lie" Yes, I do believe that he was unfaithful, but I guess I meant that if he wants to fix things he needs to be fully transparent. Probably always or until trust is rebuilt. Last part was hilarious---I am sorry, but I really needed that laugh! Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 Yes, I do believe that he was unfaithful, but I guess I meant that if he wants to fix things he needs to be fully transparent. It also takes owning your actions and not trying to downplay them and deny what they really are. Link to post Share on other sites
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