Sari Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Feel so awful today. I know it was only a six month relationship but it's hitting me just as hard as when my six year relationship broke up. I feel like I was used, and that for him it was never serious, even though he told me it was and that he loved me. I feel like I'm going mad. It will be a week tomorrow, I've been NC the whole time, he texted me some pathetic apology two days after which I did not respond to. Just feel like I'm getting worse, not better. I've tried exercise, socialising, not drinking, crying, being strong, being angry, driving for hours, listening to I Will Survive-type music, getting early nights, taking herbal calming pills. I'm seeing a counsellor through work next week, I feel like I'm barely hanging on until then I miss him so much. I just want him to come back, right or wrong, I don't care. Would be so grateful for any words of support.
Esoteric Elf Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 (edited) Why did you not respond to his apology? Did it come off as arrogant or cold? If not, talking can be therapeutic. Six months is more than enough time for two people to form a strong, deeply intimate bond. If you were truly used, then he is no good in that regard and you can put your mind to rest. However, if six months were totally erased by one, irreverent act, you, depending on the circumstances, may want to reforge a relationship through forgiveness, intimate growth, and renewal; I am not sure: I don't have enough information Also, stay strong. Love is something worth fighting for, and fighting for it you are, and very passionately I see. The struggles we go through often will mold us into a better, more resilient, and ultimately worthwhile person. Think: if you had just stumbled into your loved one at 15 years of age, what advice would you give? "It will happen and when you are young!!" What kind of advice is that? But with more trials, errors and hopefully successes, you grow and so does your ability to help others in love grow. The journey itself is a prize, and, when you meet your loved one meant to be, it is all the more sweet. If I were told I would not meet my "soul mate" until ten more years, I would ecstatic. I would work hard every day to be the best person I could be before that 3650th day arrives. You are not alone, but one among many. Few things are worth all this pain; I assure you, love is worth it. Edited December 14, 2012 by Esoteric Elf
Author Sari Posted December 14, 2012 Author Posted December 14, 2012 Thank you for your kind words. I didn't respond because there were no questions and there was no mention of getting back together. I felt that to reply would only deepen the wound for me. The more detailed version is here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/361656-he-just-sorry-does-he-want-me-back He knows how much I love him. In a way I think that's part of the problem, that he feels I deserve more love in return and he's just not able to give it to me for whatever reason. I feel contacting him now would only reaffirm what he already knows and push him away further, whilst simultaneously breaking my heart all over again. If he truly wants this to work, he needs to tell me. The apology was heartfelt, but it's not enough for me to pursue.
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