TheThinker1 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 (edited) So I wrote another thread about this same guy who I like but is unavailable(he knows I like him by the way). A few days ago I sent him a message asking him a few questions about something I thought was pretty important enough 4 him to reply. He came online, replied a few ppl(like 3) but never replied to me. I was a little bit confused when I realized he wasn't planning on replying at all. I told him I sent him a message the next day and asked him if he saw it. He smiled a little and I was even more confused. I don't understand why he's acting this way. What do I do? Edited December 7, 2012 by TheThinker1
TaraMaiden Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Leave him alone. The clue is in the word 'unavailable'. Back off, you sound like a pest at best and at worst, a stalker. Get the hint: He doesn't want to know. I'm sorry to sound so harsh, but really....
todreaminblue Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 So I wrote another thread about this same guy who I like but is unavailable(he knows I like him by the way). A few days ago I sent him a message asking him a few questions about something I thought was pretty important enough 4 him to reply. He came online, replied a few ppl(like 3) but never replied to me. I was a little bit confused when I realized he wasn't planning on replying at all. I told him I sent him a message the next day and asked him if he saw it. He smiled a little and I was even more confused. I don't understand why he's acting this way. What do I do? If a guy doesnt reply i take it as not interested and the majority of th etime it means this especially if the guy is the type to have already told you...harassing soemone is not dignified and even when you wan tto talk to them or text them you just shouldn't i feel if a guy is going to reply he will if he replied to others and not to you.....its a tell.....your feelings are going to suffer a bit.....but accept them work through them don't contact him unless he contacts you......best wishes....i know it sucks.never stalk or harass a guy a guy if you wouldnt like it done to you......hugs.....deb
Author TheThinker1 Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 If a guy doesnt reply i take it as not interested and the majority of th etime it means this especially if the guy is the type to have already told you...harassing soemone is not dignified and even when you wan tto talk to them or text them you just shouldn't i feel if a guy is going to reply he will if he replied to others and not to you.....its a tell.....your feelings are going to suffer a bit.....but accept them work through them don't contact him unless he contacts you......best wishes....i know it sucks.never stalk or harass a guy a guy if you wouldnt like it done to you......hugs.....deb You don't understand. This is so much more complicated than u think. The other day he told me he was searching 4 me online so he could add me as a friend. If what I'm doing is stalking him, u might as well say he's stalking me as well. I really wish it was as simple as u think it is. That way all I need to do is stop "harassing" him cause apparently u think that's what I'm doing. The reason why I haven't been able to move on is because he never rejected me. If anything I'm the reason why nothing has/is happening between us. I'm not ready to be anyone's number 2 and that's exactly what he wants me to be. I'm stuck in this because of him. He has planted this hope in me that has made it impossible 4 me to move on. Now I have no idea what to do cause I don't know when this unbearably annoying crush will decide to go away.
Treasa Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 When you make it go away. Ok, so this guy wants to use you as a backup, he ignores you, makes you question yourself, and you want to be with him why? He doesn't exist in your world anymore. Take that on as your new motto. Find other things in which to invest your interest. I promise you'll be a lot happier. 1
TaraMaiden Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 You don't understand.Yes - we do. This is so much more complicated than u think. No - it's not.... The other day he told me he was searching 4 me online so he could add me as a friend. Big deal. What a load of crap. instead of searching for you, why not just ask for where you are? If what I'm doing is stalking him, u might as well say he's stalking me as well. I really wish it was as simple as u think it is. There's nothing complicated about this at all. All you have to do is cut him off and ignore him completely and get on with your life. Simple - no complications at all. If he has a GF, he's a player. You want a flake like that who gets his kicks by girls paying attention to him? immature jerk...... That way all I need to do is stop "harassing" him cause apparently u think that's what I'm doing. The reason why I haven't been able to move on is because he never rejected me. No. The reason you haven't moved on is because you like the game and are playing into the drama. He's holding you at arm's length for the fun of it, and you're playing mind-games. Just quit, go No Contact and Ignore him. He's not worth it, stop playing into this. If anything I'm the reason why nothing has/is happening between us. I'm not ready to be anyone's number 2 and that's exactly what he wants me to be. Then quit sounding like you'd be happy with it. Ignore him and move on. If you don't like where it's at - shift gear and hightail it out of there. I'm stuck in this because of him. No - you're stuck in this, because it's where you've chosen to be. Take responsibility for your own choices. This is your decision, not his. You have other options, you just don't want to pick 'em.... He has planted this hope in me that has made it impossible 4 me to move on. I'm sorry - this is BS. You've cultivated that Hope. This is what I have to say about Hope..... The only thing making it 'impossible' for you to move on, is that you love being in the game, and don't want to do the right thing - which would be to cut the crap and leave the guy alone. Now I have no idea what to do cause I don't know when this unbearably annoying crush will decide to go away. Stop feeding it. Then, it will wither and die. It's not worth the effort. You DO know what to do. You just don't want to do it. 2
Author TheThinker1 Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 Hi Tara Maiden. Thanks 4 your input but tbh, you're very conclusive. You're too quick to make conclusions. You don't know what my relationship with him is like so don't say it will be simple 4 me to cut him out because it won't. In fact believe it or not it is impossible. I can minimize contact which is exactly what I am doing right now but cutting him out completely? Don't even go there cause it can't happen. Not because I don't want to but because I can't! And I don't want to tell u why because that's information about my life that I'm not willing to share. The only thing you're right about is that he is immature. You hit the nail right on the head with that one.
phineas Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I wish women who go through this would post up a picture of guys who do this to them so I can see just how HOT a guy has to be to do this. Honestly, I see average women at best doing this type of thing to hordes of guys just for attention & favors and only rarely see it happen to women.
Author TheThinker1 Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 I wish women who go through this would post up a picture of guys who do this to them so I can see just how HOT a guy has to be to do this. Honestly, I see average women at best doing this type of thing to hordes of guys just for attention & favors and only rarely see it happen to women. How are u sure you've not already done this to a girl u know or use to know. Do u think she would tell u if she felt this way? This unavailable guy has no idea I feel this way and I would never tell him. U know because I decided to share it with you. And even then, I did it anonymously. Most girls would not tell u if they were having a difficult time getting over u. They have their dignities, pride and names to protect so they wouldn't do that.
TaraMaiden Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Hi Tara Maiden. Thanks 4 your input but tbh, you're very conclusive. You're too quick to make conclusions. You don't know what my relationship with him is like so don't say it will be simple 4 me to cut him out because it won't. In fact believe it or not it is impossible. I can minimize contact which is exactly what I am doing right now but cutting him out completely? Don't even go there cause it can't happen. Not because I don't want to but because I can't! And I don't want to tell u why because that's information about my life that I'm not willing to share. The only thing you're right about is that he is immature. You hit the nail right on the head with that one. Well he's either a relative by marriage, or you work with him. The No Contact Guide was written by a man whose GF ditched him - and they were colleagues. Close Colleagues. Am I near the mark? A simple yes or no will suffice. Reducing contact to absolutely nothing but the barest essential, is adequate. But in all other ways, you're just playing the game and making excuses. This IS possible, this CAN be done. You just have to find the way.
edgygirl Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Maybe she's pregnant? :/ It's pretty obvious he's not that into you, girl. Why torture yourself? When a guy is into us, we just KNOW it. When guys are into us, they make it clear. Do you want to seek validation that you are worthy by proving to yourself that he can get into you? Not worth it. Go look for a guy that will treat you well, this guy just isn't ALL that. I know sometimes we feel like we would be perfect with someone if they only given us a chance, but if a guy ignores you, and mainly, your messages - he is probably NOT perfect for you. Don't waste your time. Well he's either a relative by marriage, or you work with him. The No Contact Guide was written by a man whose GF ditched him - and they were colleagues. Close Colleagues. Am I near the mark? A simple yes or no will suffice. Reducing contact to absolutely nothing but the barest essential, is adequate. But in all other ways, you're just playing the game and making excuses. This IS possible, this CAN be done. You just have to find the way.
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