Author rn0408 Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 Does it? I have waited til I was 29 years old to lose my virginity, and I have not dated too many men because of my high standards -- doesn't seem desperate to me. So someone who is interested in marriage and kids, and makes that clear , so that neither of you waste any time, is "desperate"? Really? I don't want to get into a relationship even with a great guy whom I like very much, only to find out years later that he does not want to get married, or that he does not want kids. I want kids, that is one of my goals in the future -- I will not sacrifice that wish/goal just to settle for someone. No guys have "hit it" and quit it -- I lost my virginity a few months ago, with a guy I wanted to lose my virginity with/to. I have not had sex with any men since then, and only because I did not want to. Men who "run away" at the mention of marriage in general, are immature and childish and it's a huge red flag when men can't cope with discussing something of that sort. I would understand it being a turnoff when the woman starts dropping hints that she wants to marry HIM after having dated him a few times, but I see nothing wrong with a general discussion of one's priorities / goals in life. It is no different than discussing one's career, where one wants to settle down/live, etc. Eh? I do not have low self-esteem, if that is what you mean. Maybe you are used to dating/seeing women with low self-esteem, but I am not one of them. Um, no it shouldn't. I never discussed having kids WITH the guy I was dating -- the topic came up as a general discussion about marriage and kids, and what I wanted in life. It was not about me wanting to have HIS babies. Sheesh. Your loss, and as I said, it indicates immaturity and emotional unavailability / commitment phobia. I'm not a commitment phobe. I was in a comitted relationship before and I cut the girl off (she was too needy, she would of got in the way with my career, and tried to entrap me). I've dated real good girls. Some I'm really good friends with still.
reallyhotguy Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Man, great list! Here's my top 5: 1. Again, Pinterest. Guys, seriously, it's time to really take a closer look at what this girl has pinned up. If she's yet another one of these girls with "inspiration" photos of workout wear and toned bodies (lesbian?), room decor ideas (watch for carpet! who would actually choose to have carpet?!?), and good food dishes -- well watch out, you just dodged a serial killer who probably would have poisoned your (well plated) dinner. 2. Settling down, totally agree. I'm a man on my feet. In fact, I'm not even sitting right now, I have a standing desk. Some girls get tired of my active lifestyle, and it's only a matter of time before they complain about wanting to "go to bed". That's when I want them to "go away". Or I grab my Nikes and go for a nice run. If they're still in my apartment again, I go for another run, because **** man, got to get that burn, I know you feel me. 3. Yes, definitely Wedding ring. This is an easy one. You know you have a problem if she seems to want it Princess cut. I mean seriously, can she say that with a straight face? "Princess cut"? Plus diamond wedding rings are a scam anyway by the diamond lobby, anyone sensible doesn't know that. So anyway, definitely go for another run, get that burn in, marathon was canceled is that an excuse to be lazy? Didn't think so. 4. All she talks about is her ex's... puppy, which she kept after they split up a few years man. That's some sadistic ****, taking another man's puppy like that. Plus it's not even a puppy anymore after so many years, it's a real dog now, that's infantilism or a loose grip with reality at any rate. Definitely at least follow this one up with a jog, keep it at an 8 minute mile though. 5. Here's a classic one. She doesn't want to use a dental dam. She may have never have used one, or even know what one is. This is a huge red flag, definitely do a 100 meter dash, and focus on that form, remember, it's less like a "run" and more like a "controlled fall" 5
Author rn0408 Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 I agree with this completely. I was interested in a girl and decided to check out her Facebook. Wow! almost 1,000 friends, all of these guys, she came off like an attention whore with mental issues. No relationship status. Many photos of partying with men and "professional" photography shots of herself. Her profile was public, but once I got into contact with her she made it private. Then she started to delete things. I was lucky I saw the Facebook before wasting time in getting to know her personally. I had a issue like that..this girl added me on facebook (she knew people I knew and approached me at a bar with my birthday bash). things started missing and I checked her Pinterest..wow she was nuts with future marriage dresses and what rings she wanted lol. I found out later she slept with 5 different guys in 6 days..whoa! I always ask around too about somebody and I tell some people "I may make a move on her, do you know anything about her." You will know the red flag signs lol.
Author rn0408 Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 Man, great list! Here's my top 5: 1. Again, Pinterest. Guys, seriously, it's time to really take a closer look at what this girl has pinned up. If she's yet another one of these girls with "inspiration" photos of workout wear and toned bodies (lesbian?), room decor ideas (watch for carpet! who would actually choose to have carpet?!?), and good food dishes -- well watch out, you just dodged a serial killer who probably would have poisoned your (well plated) dinner. 2. Settling down, totally agree. I'm a man on my feet. In fact, I'm not even sitting right now, I have a standing desk. Some girls get tired of my active lifestyle, and it's only a matter of time before they complain about wanting to "go to bed". That's when I want them to "go away". Or I grab my Nikes and go for a nice run. If they're still in my apartment again, I go for another run, because **** man, got to get that burn, I know you feel me. 3. Yes, definitely Wedding ring. This is an easy one. You know you have a problem if she seems to want it Princess cut. I mean seriously, can she say that with a straight face? "Princess cut"? Plus diamond wedding rings are a scam anyway by the diamond lobby, anyone sensible doesn't know that. So anyway, definitely go for another run, get that burn in, marathon was canceled is that an excuse to be lazy? Didn't think so. 4. All she talks about is her ex's... puppy, which she kept after they split up a few years man. That's some sadistic ****, taking another man's puppy like that. Plus it's not even a puppy anymore after so many years, it's a real dog now, that's infantilism or a loose grip with reality at any rate. Definitely at least follow this one up with a jog, keep it at an 8 minute mile though. 5. Here's a classic one. She doesn't want to use a dental dam. She may have never have used one, or even know what one is. This is a huge red flag, definitely do a 100 meter dash, and focus on that form, remember, it's less like a "run" and more like a "controlled fall" I don't think there's anything wrong with working out, carpet, or dish's. It's just a sign of her expression and creativity..BUT A wedding ring...and wedding dress on Pinterest... RUNNN
MrCastle Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 OK, MrCastle, Hiding something from someone is not necessarily = hiding something "bad", though. Hiding something from someone = hiding something from potential stalkers/people who might use pictures you might post, etc. OK, and what is this supposed to mean? I have more guy friends than girl friends, but they are just good friends, not people I have had any romantic or sexual involvement with. It just so happens that my field of study is fairly male-dominated. I'm not saying that you're saying this, but just wanted to point that out. Agreed, though, that facebook does say a lot about a person. Read some of the posts made after yours and mine. There's your answer. Typically, a woman with more male friends than female friends, or no female friends at all, is a huge red flag. Doesn't mean she's banging every guy, but does speak to her need to have attention and be wanted. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 (edited) Read some of the posts made after yours and mine. There's your answer. Typically, a woman with more male friends than female friends, or no female friends at all, is a huge red flag. Doesn't mean she's banging every guy, but does speak to her need to have attention and be wanted. Hahahaa, are you for real? All the male friends that I have are from work, not from clubbing/pubs/bars. In fact, I never go clubbing anyway, and I don't add strangers on facebook. I only have about 200 friends on facebook, mostly childhood/high school friends and people I work with / around currently (including quite a few females, but significantly more men than women)... There's no such thing as a red flag there. It's all in your head -- it's just silly assumptions and application of your image of a certain type of women to the behaviour of all women. I have NEVER thought of the men I have on my facebook in romantic or sexual terms, or sought attention from them. We are just very good friends who enjoy a pint of beer every Thursday. Edited November 29, 2012 by NoMoreJerks
Under The Radar Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Hahahaa, are you for real? All the male friends that I have are from work, not from clubbing/pubs/bars. In fact, I never go clubbing anyway, and I don't add strangers on facebook. I only have about 200 friends on facebook, mostly childhood friends and people I work with / around currently (including quite a few females, but significantly more men than women)... There's no such thing as a red flag there. It's all in your head -- it's just silly assumptions and application of your image of a certain type of women to the behaviour of all women. That's why he said TYPICALLY (as in generally speaking ). 1
NoMoreJerks Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 That's why he said TYPICALLY (as in generally speaking ). Most women do not befriend men out of some sort of psychological need for attention from the opposite sex, or for hidden agendas.... It's hardly typical behaviour. This whole notion that women must befriend mostly other women is ridiculous and belongs to the 19th century or maybe in Taliban-ruled Afghanistan. 1
Under The Radar Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 But, I'll take it a step further and state that anyone with hundreds and hundreds of "friends" through a social media site has issues and would be categorized as a potential red flag for me. I wouldn't consider 200 FB "friends" a problem or an implication of "attention whoring" .
truth_seeker Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Hahahaa, are you for real? All the male friends that I have are from work, not from clubbing/pubs/bars. In fact, I never go clubbing anyway, and I don't add strangers on facebook. I only have about 200 friends on facebook, mostly childhood/high school friends and people I work with / around currently (including quite a few females, but significantly more men than women)... There's no such thing as a red flag there. It's all in your head -- it's just silly assumptions and application of your image of a certain type of women to the behaviour of all women. I have NEVER thought of the men I have on my facebook in romantic or sexual terms, or sought attention from them. We are just very good friends who enjoy a pint of beer every Thursday. He's not talking about you personally but those women who have 700-800 or more friends on their page. How can someone know that many people? Why would a woman want these strange men to have access to all of her personal photos? That's alarming.
MrCastle Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 He's not talking about you personally but those women who have 700-800 or more friends on their page. How can someone know that many people? Why would a woman want these strange men to have access to all of her personal photos? That's alarming. This. And like someone mentioned, I used the word typically Let me put it another way. I would rather be with a woman who didn't have several hundred male friends on her friends list, and/or more male friends in real life than girlfriends.
NoMoreJerks Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 He's not talking about you personally but those women who have 700-800 or more friends on their page. How can someone know that many people? Why would a woman want these strange men to have access to all of her personal photos? That's alarming. Sure, but I have issues with his implication that this is typical female behaviour. It's at best anecdotal. I have quite a few male friends on facebook who add total strangers as well, of both genders and who have 1,000+ friends on FB -- I never understood that, but to each their own, and no, this is not typical behaviour on the majority of women's part. Also, one can easily know 1,000 people... I mean, I know A LOT of people whom I have not added on facebook, because they do not have facebook, or because I don't consider them good friends or am not interested in having them on facebook for one reason or another. And I am not even someone who is very outgoing. I can imagine that one can easily know 1,000 people. Sure, it may be indicative of one not having a life if one spends all his/her time communicating with those 1,000 friends via facebook, but the fact that he/she has 1,000 friends on facebook is not necessarily indicative of problems, nor is it typical female behaviour.
Author rn0408 Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 But, I'll take it a step further and state that anyone with hundreds and hundreds of "friends" through a social media site has issues and would be categorized as a potential red flag for me. I wouldn't consider 200 FB "friends" a problem or an implication of "attention whoring" . I have 1100 people who I have on my friends list. A lot of them are former grade school friends, high school friends, people to who I used to work with, and friends in general. I know all of them by name..it depends. I don't add people, I have them friend request me, and I have to know them. Facebook isn't a popularity test for me.
NoMoreJerks Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 This. And like someone mentioned, I used the word typically Let me put it another way. I would rather be with a woman who didn't have several hundred male friends on her friends list, and/or more male friends in real life than girlfriends. Wow, you have major jealousy/insecurity issues. I hope that you will not be dictating to your future gf who she would be befriending... that's a big no-no in my books, and a huge red flag. It's none of a man's business who a woman's friends are -- if my bf suggests that I should get rid of this or that friend, I would quickly give him the boot. Men think that they can be judgmental and get away with it and get a woman's approval regardless of it. Sorry, but no. It may work on some desperate women, but not on independent-minded women like me, who will not even give a judgmental and abusive man like that a few seconds of her time.
MrCastle Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Sure, but I have issues with his implication that this is typical female behaviour. It's at best anecdotal. I have quite a few male friends on facebook who add total strangers as well, of both genders and who have 1,000+ friends on FB -- I never understood that, but to each their own, and no, this is not typical behaviour on the majority of women's part. Also, one can easily know 1,000 people... I mean, I know A LOT of people whom I have not added on facebook, because they do not have facebook, or because I don't consider them good friends or am not interested in having them on facebook for one reason or another. And I am not even someone who is very outgoing. I can imagine that one can easily know 1,000 people. Sure, it may be indicative of one not having a life if one spends all his/her time communicating with those 1,000 friends via facebook, but the fact that he/she has 1,000 friends on facebook is not necessarily indicative of problems, nor is it typical female behaviour. Or it could be generational. Most women my age who have more male friends, whether on facebook or in real life are massive attention whores. Just the way things are. The girls that have 500+ profile photos and when they get a comment on one of their pictures from one of those men, something like "you're gorgeous!", they ignore it. I don't know if it's anecdotal, I'm sure most men, and some (honest) women have run into this type on facebook before.
MrCastle Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Wow, you have major jealousy/insecurity issues. I hope that you will not be dictating to your future gf who she would be befriending... that's a big no-no in my books, and a huge red flag. It's none of a man's business who a woman's friends are -- if my bf suggests that I should get rid of this or that friend, I would quickly give him the boot. Men think that they can be judgmental and get away with it and get a woman's approval regardless of it. Sorry, but no. It may work on some desperate women, but not on independent-minded women like me, who will not even give a judgmental and abusive man like that a few seconds of her time. I wouldn't ask a girl to drop certain friends. If it became apparent that she was a little too friendly with my gender and/or not friendly enough with her own, I wouldn't go after her. If a girl struggles to be friends with other girls, that's a problem. And not one I'd want to deal with
NoMoreJerks Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Or it could be generational. Most women my age who have more male friends, whether on facebook or in real life are massive attention whores. Just the way things are. The girls that have 500+ profile photos and when they get a comment on one of their pictures from one of those men, something like "you're gorgeous!", they ignore it. I don't know if it's anecdotal, I'm sure most men, and some (honest) women have run into this type on facebook before. Generational? lol. I am not your gramma's age, you know. I am only 29. I have friends in their early 20s all the way to their 60s, on facebook. Out of the 200 friends that I have on facebook, I can only think of ONE woman who does this sort of thing. Also, men do it too, at about the same rate as women do. But like I said, it is not typical behaviour, nor is it gender specific.
MrCastle Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Generational? lol. I am not your gramma's age, you know. I am only 29. I have friends in their early 20s all the way to their 60s, on facebook. Out of the 200 friends that I have on facebook, I can only think of ONE woman who does this sort of thing. Also, men do it too, at about the same rate as women do. But like I said, it is not typical behaviour, nor is it gender specific. Glad you admit to seeing the kind of girl I'm talking about. It's not anecdotal. You know, it's okay to admit when your gender screws up. I was condeming the dude who wants to lose his virginity to an escort. Admitting a considerable amount of young women are attention whores 1.) doesn't mean you yourself are one 2.) doesn't mean you are betraying your gender.
NoMoreJerks Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 I wouldn't ask a girl to drop certain friends. If it became apparent that she was a little too friendly with my gender and/or not friendly enough with her own, I wouldn't go after her. If a girl struggles to be friends with other girls, that's a problem. And not one I'd want to deal with You have serious issues and a warped mentality. Having fewer female friends in no way means a woman struggles to be friends with other women. It could be due to many factors, including the type of career/job she has, or the subject she's studying at university. Most of the friends that I currently have are men, because my workplace is where I meet my friends for the most part, and men are the majority there. It has nothing to do with me having issues with women or being unable to be friends with them. That's a crazy insinuation. "A little too friendly" -- you talk about it as if being friends entails that she is a whore , or wants to bang them at some point, even if she has not already. You have issues. Serious ones. If most men are like you, it is no wonder they are having issues finding women, with their ridiculous and extremely demanding standards. It is none of my business who a guy I am interested in, is friends with. I am not that crazy to sit and count a guy's male and female friends, and decide, based on that, whether or not I will give him a chance. I judge him based on his behaviour, not based on his choice of friends or the gender of his friends....
NoMoreJerks Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Glad you admit to seeing the kind of girl I'm talking about. It's not anecdotal. You know, it's okay to admit when your gender screws up. I was condeming the dude who wants to lose his virginity to an escort. Admitting a considerable amount of young women are attention whores 1.) doesn't mean you yourself are one 2.) doesn't mean you are betraying your gender. "Admitting" ? To what? To the fact that out of the 100+ friends I have on FB, only one is like that? And there is also at least one male who is like that too? You make it sound as if I agreed with your characterization of the typical female behaviour. I didn't know that 0.01% is now the definition of "typical."
truth_seeker Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Or it could be generational. Most women my age who have more male friends, whether on facebook or in real life are massive attention whores. Just the way things are. The girls that have 500+ profile photos and when they get a comment on one of their pictures from one of those men, something like "you're gorgeous!", they ignore it. I don't know if it's anecdotal, I'm sure most men, and some (honest) women have run into this type on facebook before. It's not generational. You're right on, man.
MrCastle Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 "Admitting" ? To what? To the fact that out of the 100+ friends I have on FB, only one is like that? And there is also at least one male who is like that too? You make it sound as if I agreed with your characterization of the typical female behaviour. I didn't know that 0.01% is now the definition of "typical." I'm sure every honest person who comes in here, man or woman will admit to coming across more than 1 attention whore in their life. Look, the fact of the matter is, young girls crave attention. You can admit it or not, doesn't make it any more or less true. I don't see a problem with the standards I've set. Women that have trouble maintaining friendships with other women, or are disliked by other women, have an issue. When you can't relate to your own gender, there is an underlying reason why. When you're posting picture upon picture of yourself on facebook, getting postive comments and not responding to any of them, that's a problem. You can take the time to upload a pic but not take the time to thank the people leaving you comments? It screams of arrogance and a feeling that you're better than you actually are. I don't associate with those kinds of women. The women I know are modest, humble, either don't have facebook or use it rarely, and interact with anyone who leaves comments on their wall. They don't fish for compliments by posting a half naked mirror picture and captioning "I'm so ugly! :-(" -- the bulk of women I've met in college fit that mold. Life is a popularity contest. Their friends count goes to their heads. They actually start believing they're above people. People like that are not dating material. Men are not interested in dating a woman who is super into herself, just like a woman doesn't want to date a man who's super into himself. Men also don't want to date a woman they feel they have to work hard at to get her attention. 1
MrCastle Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 You have serious issues and a warped mentality No need for personal attacks. They don't add anything to the discussion. We can just agree to disagree if you'd like.
NoMoreJerks Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 I don't see a problem with the standards I've set. Women that have trouble maintaining friendships with other women, or are disliked by other women, have an issue. When you can't relate to your own gender, there is an underlying reason why.That's not the point. The point is that you are implying that women who do not have as many (or more) female friends as/than male friends = they have a problem. The two are not equivalent. They rarely are. Women who have issues making friends with other women = women who have problems. But you didn't put it that way. You just judged her as having problems just by the gender count of her friends. Are there lots of female attention whores? Sure. Are there lots of male attention whores? I have news for you: Oh my God YES. The problem I have is with you ignoring that this is more of an immaturity / age problem than it is a gender one. I have seen a lot of men do this as well. I work at a college, and I see young men and women, and believe me, the guys are just as obsessed with themselves and just as narcissistic as the girls.
MrCastle Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 That's not the point. The point is that you are implying that women who do not have as many (or more) female friends as/than male friends = they have a problem. The two are not equivalent. They rarely are. Women who have issues making friends with other women = women who have problems. But you didn't put it that way. You just judged her as having problems just by the gender count of her friends. Are there lots of female attention whores? Sure. Are there lots of male attention whores? I have news for you: Oh my God YES. The problem I have is with you ignoring that this is more of an immaturity / age problem than it is a gender one. I have seen a lot of men do this as well. I work at a college, and I see young men and women, and believe me, the guys are just as obsessed with themselves and just as narcissistic as the girls. I agree with everything you just said, and that's cool. But the reason I didn't bring up men is because I'm not looking to date them. Thread topic was specifically aimed at men and what their red flags are. I listed mine. I couldn't care less about men being attention whores because I'm not looking to date them.
Recommended Posts