An Emotional Rollercoaster!!!

[cuddlebug20]

Ok lets see here....this will probably be on the long side but please bare with me....I need some advice!

 

 

Ok it all started last year when I moved in with my ex bf in May...July he started to become emotionally abusive...not very severe but enough to leave a few scars. This Feb. I left him but it was not my decision....I was willing to stay if he would get help and he had agreed to get help. I was going to go through a program with him and see how things turned out and if it didn't help him I was then going to leave. However....due to something that came up my parents moved me back home, on our one year anniversary and the last words I said to him were I love you and that was through a brick wall. I can't even remember the last time I kissed him or hugged him. Although he was emotionally abusive I loved him. He did not have a very good life....he's lived with his hateful, evil grandmother his whole life....she has looked him in the face many times and told him that he was ugly and worthless. His mom was always too busy worrying about her new husband to even show him the least bit of attention, there were times that she would hang up on him on the phone. His dad was an alcoholic and hit on his mom when he was younger. He never came to see my ex or never even called to talk to him on the phone. There were many times that he broke down on my crying because he didn't feel loved and said that he didn't have any family that I was all he had. He was so nice to me when he wasn't having an anger fit. He averaged having a fit maybe 4 or 5 times a week. He'd throw things, kick and punch things and sometimes he'd shout at me. It wasn't a severe case of abuse. I want to be able to get over him and move on with my life but I have so many "what if's" in the back of my head.....how do you move on and forget someone that you once cared so much for?

 

 

I thought that I had gotten over him and had moved on...I've been talking to another guy, he's 35, I thought that I was beginning to develop strong feelings for him but I keep backing off. He seems like he is a really great guy but there are still a few red flags. We are just friends and spend Sundays together doing whatever.

 

 

I am finding that I'm in a really sticky situation. I want to give my ex another chance....he is getting counseling, that is what I asked for him to do during court. From what I can find out he is making progress and doing good with his counseling. I still love him and care for him.....but I know that if my parents find out they are going to be very disappointed. I also care for my friend that I have made. I'm so confused....I worry that maybe I'm still feeling the affects of the emotional abuse and that I don't really love my ex. I think that I still want to nurture him and give him a good life. It's like I don't really love him but I just want to be there for him and to support him.

 

 

I really care for this new guy and I feel as if he is my soul mate....it's just that there are a few red flags....for example..he says that he's not ready for a girlfriend but yet he's ready to settle down when he finds the right one. Out of 8 sundays I have spent 5 of them him. The first time he cancelled our plans was because he had a stomach virus the next time his aunt had a heart attack and then this past sunday he went with his cousin out of town 3 1/2 hours away to see her husband that had just had a heart attack and they flew him out. It just sounds a little suspicious. I deffinately want to be more then friends with him but I can't find the courage to tell him how I feel. I don't want to ruin a good thing.

 

 

Please any advice on how to move on with my life and how to forget my ex would be greatly appreciated.

 

 

Oh yeah....does anyone happen to know of a good emotional abuse support group online? or maybe some sites with some good info.?

 

 

Thank you for your time!

[cinnamonstix49]

First of all, if a guy EVER abuses you in any way for any reason, HE DOES NOT DESERVE A SECOND CHANCE!!!

 

Second of all, you are on the best online advice and support group on the net... maybe you should try a real life councelor too. Sometimes family and good friends are the best shoulders to cry on.

 

Definitely get over him though girl, you can't go on like that.