brok3npr0mise Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 My boyfriend of almost 3 years recently told me he cares about me a lot, but he no longer loves me. We live together and our lease isn't up until May 1, 2013 so we are going to be forced to live together. We have been fighting a lot because we aren't happy with where we live and I'm not very happy with where I am in life. I'm regretting not choosing to go to college because I find it hard to live week to week. I admit that I tend to take a lot out on him, because he's always the one around. I'll also admit I definitely pushed him away. We haven't officially called it quits yet. But things are pretty rocky. He states he still cares about me a lot. And I know myself, and haven't been myself lately. I promised him that I will work everyday to show him that I can be the person I was when he fell in love with me. We don't have any trust issues, we are always honest with each other, but the number 1 problem has always been communication. This is the guy I thought for the longest time that I was going to marry someday. He's skeptical as to whether he can fall in love again. Which I don't blame him. Is it possible for someone to fall back in love with the same person again?
River Rain Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Anything is possible as long as you work on your issues. You both have to back up your words with actions if you want things to work. Once you're able to communicate better (if that is the big problem), then you'll find it's easier to feel more positive emotion for each other. 1
Author brok3npr0mise Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 Communication is definitely one of our biggest problems. I've always wanted to talk about things and he keeps more to himself. So, we never end up saying how we feel and then all the sudden we are having an argument about it. It's funny how different things have been since he told me he didn't love me anymore. We seem like we talk more and are kinder towards each other, especially him. He hasn't told me yet if he wants to give it a try to see if love can happen again between us, but he did tell me he'd think about it.
mammasita Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 I was/am in a similar situation. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/351634-dumpee-once-again-but-i-feel-like-there-glimmer-hope Perhaps you or he can stay with a friend or family for a week.....clear your heads. I believe that if you are TRULY in love, you can't fall out of love. External forces can cloud the feelings and create the illusion of falling out of love, but if your foundation is good, it can be worked out.
aMguilts Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 hi brok3npr0mise. Iagree with riverrain. Anything is possible. Depends on you both thou. You mentioned about communication. If neither of you are able to talk to each other and feel that you aren`t being `heard`, than you both are already at a stalemate. Maybe , you write in a letter to him what you want out of this, and asking him to do the same for you? You can swap letters, read what each has to say( do this away from each other), and then maybe get together and talk about what you both put?
Frank13 Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 I have found, at least for women, once they fall out of love with you, there is no going back. The feelings never return.
Author brok3npr0mise Posted November 4, 2012 Author Posted November 4, 2012 Well, it has been a week and I'm not too sure how much progress we've made. I am trying to stay positive. Today I decided to take him out to lunch and a movie of his choice. Everything seemed like how it always was, but there just seems to be so much distance between us now. I hate the fact that it feels like he's pushing me away. He doesn't hold my hand in the car. He didn't put his arm around me at the movies like he normally ALWAYS does. It's just odd. We still laugh and carry on better conversation now than we did. But maybe he is right. Maybe me thinking that he can fall back in love is hopeless. I know these sort of things take time. But I just didn't ever expect it to be like this between us.
aMguilts Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Well, it has been a week and I'm not too sure how much progress we've made. I am trying to stay positive. Today I decided to take him out to lunch and a movie of his choice. Everything seemed like how it always was, but there just seems to be so much distance between us now. I hate the fact that it feels like he's pushing me away. He doesn't hold my hand in the car. He didn't put his arm around me at the movies like he normally ALWAYS does. It's just odd. We still laugh and carry on better conversation now than we did. But maybe he is right. Maybe me thinking that he can fall back in love is hopeless. I know these sort of things take time. But I just didn't ever expect it to be like this between us. brok3npr0mise hi again. Time for you to go NC. Don`t text, ring, email, send carrier pigeon. Nothing . See what happens aM
Author brok3npr0mise Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 brok3npr0mise hi again. Time for you to go NC. Don`t text, ring, email, send carrier pigeon. Nothing . See what happens aM I am starting to agree with you. It's hard cause we live together. But I have been thinking about packing a few things and possibly staying with my parents for a week or two. I'm just working up the courage to tell him.
ForeverlovingRami Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Yeah, NC is really good in theese types of situations. U really get to sort out what you really want, spending time apart is the best way to self heal... You'll be missing him but in the same time you get to deal with your emotions without him around being able to remind you of whatever it is you're feeling. Wish my girl understood that but I've come to the conclusion that theres someone much better out there for me, hurts to say but that's the truth. I'm moving on from what was to something new, exiting Wish you all the luck you can get and hope you guys get healed by the NC! 2
aMguilts Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 I am starting to agree with you. It's hard cause we live together. But I have been thinking about packing a few things and possibly staying with my parents for a week or two. I'm just working up the courage to tell him. you don`t tell him. You just go. Don`t even leave a note. NC means No Contact. brok3npr0mise, leave for a few weeks , go and stay with anyone that will put you up, don`t tell him thou. Go and have some fun. Forget him for a while, think of you. Give him a chance to miss you. then when he does come sniffing after you, take a step back and make him sniff some more be stronger than you are now aM
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