Ashnz Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 So..... following my story from my last thread few months ago: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/337333-my-anxiety-something-really-bad-relationship#post4139821 Those too busy or lazy - in a nutshell we were going out (I really liked her and am very sure she liked me too) but then she basically just disappeared. Maybe we she was scared or whatever. At that time I put it down to her losing attraction in me. This was about 2-3 months ago. Fast forward to now. I left it there and started focussing on my self. In my mind I was gutted but I knew I'd get over her. It really hurt me the way she left - it was pretty much cold turkey with no explanations on her part. Left me guessing and searching for all sorts of reasons why she left. Now last weekend she texted me (I had deleted her number but still sort of remembered it). After waiting a while I replied with the usual "how you been, blah blah". I'd be lying if I didn't say I was happy to hear from her. Last 1-2 days we've texted like before but now she's been initiating the texts like nothings happened. But right now I feel conflicted and perhaps scared too. I want to text her, talk to her like before but at the same time I am uneasy about it because of a fear that she may just leave any time again like before. This is stopping me from calling her or initiating any sort of conversation over text. I want to confront her with this, I want to know where I stand and what her intentions are. I feel so much on guard now - and I used to be such an open and straight person. Am I being unreasonable? How should I approach her? In past everytime I start to talk about a "touchy" topic like this one, she retreats back (she's only 23 so young emotionally) PS all of my post history on this website is about her
WonderKid Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 You need to be upfront with her. Because in your emotional mind state, if you don't initiate these thoughts with her you'd be hurting yourself. I'll never know why she contacted you as if nothing happened; me personally, I'd respond with happiness. Meet in person or talk over the phone.
Seneca Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Based upon your past posts of dating on and off. You two need to be clear on what it is you both want. Be respectful of each others feelings. You don't want to hurt each other so be honest and upfront of where this relationship is headed. If she says she doesn't know what she wants. You need to know what you want, if she doesn't feel the same way you do then you have to be just friends or move on. Or else you will repeat the same cycle.
Ami1uwant Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I dont recall your original post but it sounds as if she dropped you for guy B. Guy B didnt work out so she stuck out her neck to see if it can be worked out with you. You need to talk to her about this before you become invested otherwise you will get hurt again when guy C comes calling and she ditches you again.
Author Ashnz Posted October 31, 2012 Author Posted October 31, 2012 (edited) Thanks for your replies. Knowing her as well as I know her for past 3-4 years I highly suspect there is a guy B. She is indecisive, I think. She is bit of free spirit and fiercely independent. Edited October 31, 2012 by Ashnz
phineas Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 LOL! Have had a few woman do similar. I tell them to "come over for movie night & to wear something sexy ;)" That's my way of telling a chick that blew me off that she is done wasting my time & she isn't getting any more of it until I get what I want first. Those who actually want to get with me show up & then I walk them up to the bedroom or walk them back out the door. Those that don't send me the same annoying text text 6 months later. Upon which I repeat my offer. In the days before I wizened up to these types of women I was on my way to being a professional chump. 1
dasein Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 OP you are a placeholder. If you don't want this cycle to continue, walk away from this woman for good. The -only- way she may ever come to value you is if she absolutely totally believes she has lost you for good. That takes many months if not years, or knowing or seeing you are with someone else. Phineas' technique is a great one, but won't work in your case. She has to know for certain you are gone on down the road. Good luck.
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