sweetkiwi Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 if a guy i was dating wanted to know all about my sexual past thats fine. I'd tell him. Never been asked for a complete confession however nor do i want to know every single person my guy has been with. Unless she's still a close friend or is someone i will have to see a lot. I'm smart enough that when my guy says he was in one six year relationship, and a one year relationship, and the rest were just (hand motion), that really means he ****ed whoever he wanted in between. He's still a great guy. Now. For me. Which is what matters. He wants me. Its a huge compliment. And i'm no dog either, he notices men looking at me. It doesn't make him mad though. Makes him take me home early 2
Stephanie Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Any more derailment of this thread will result in infractions. Thanks
Terracotta Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Yeah I can understand the OP not wanting to be with this girl, guys who have slept around are a huge turn off to me. The one thing I don't understand is the guys acting so morally superior to these "sluts" yet they will happily bang them on a late night booty call. That puts you on the same level as them buddy, sorry. I was talking to one of my friends today who knows one of these guys and apparently he wants to "settle down" with a girl who has less of a past after living a player lifestyle for years and none of those girls want him cos they know his reputation LOL. And he can't believe it cos of his huge ego. So it makes me laugh every time a man whore looks down from their high horse on these "sluts", they don't know how hypocritical and delusional they really are. 1
RogerWallace111 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 What do you call a key that opens multiple locks ? A master key What do you call a lock that can be opened by multiple keys ? A ****ty lock I only partially agree with the sentiment of that ^ but I don't think it's fully off base. Of course there's a double standard as far as the judgement of promiscuity in women vs in men, but women are historically, biologically and in the eyes of society the ones meant to be "courted" by males. Where as the men are the ones whose role has been that of the pollenator trying pass on their genes as prolifically as possible. That's not me saying "men are entitled to be sluts !", in fact one night stands, etc don't do much for me. But, as much of a double standard as it is, with guys being horndogs who will **** anyone somewhat attractive to them, females are the ones really making the choice of who they allow to have sex with them. So sad as it may be, when they're indiscriminate, they're more likely to be judged as letting themselves be "taken advantage of", or looking like they have low self-esteem and need reassurance, or whatever..... I don't necessarily think it should be much different for guys. A girl I'm dating has just as much right to be disgusted by sleazy women in my past as I do about sleazy guys in hers. But, I'm more likely to see her past as kind of sad where being the male I'll just get "typical wild, horny guy". Because the male isn't the one allowing his "sacred temple" to be entered haphazardly. He's just f*cking like every male of any species always has, with survival instinct.
RogerWallace111 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 And considering the disgust with myself I've experienced after drunken sex with someone I wasn't even into, I'm very sympathetic for a female in the same situation, who being the "reciever" is naturally going to feel more "violated".
kaylan Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 (edited) Sorry Roger, but I already cleared up the misconception about the sexual double standard. Men are the ones who give props to a guy who sleeps around. And if you read enough here, or talk to a decent number of guys, most arent feeling sympathy or "sad" for a girl whos slept around. They see her as a skank who got around...the same way some women will see a man-whore as a typical horndog with low stanards. There are many women who greatly dislike a guy whos slept around. And even if the guy is attractive, these women will do what many men do to promiscuous women....either not give the person a chance at all, or simply use them for sex. As I said in my prior post, people need to stop pushing this false idea that women love a guy whos slept around. Because I know quite a few who do not. And people need to quit with the lock analogy, because getting laid as a guy isnt as hard as some dudes make it seem. Edited October 30, 2012 by kaylan
RogerWallace111 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 (edited) i was too late !? of course the lock thing is ridiculous i just find it funny and can't help but find it to make a little sense. I see your points, but I think youre taking it slightly too far in the other direction. And I never said women "give props" to guys who f*ck a lot, but you'd be in a bit of denial to suggest that the judgement they receive is anything near equal. And you know for a fact there have been countless social circles in which a guy f*cks a couple women well, word spreads, and he starts to get more and more opportunities. Definitely not as likely with women, and they will lose a certain sort of respect that the guy won't. Not that plenty of females wouldn't look down on the guy a bit. But a known "player", still, politcally correct/right or not, is gonna maintain a better image and be cut more slack than a "whore". If you disagree it must be due to local culture where we each live or something. Also didn't say it's tough for a guy to get laid, but again, to suggest that's even near equally as easy as for a woman is just not the case (considering the man has some standards). Any attractive girl in my phone could call me to have sex with her, and if I was free, I'd accept the offer (I don't believe in that **** "ruining friendship" unless it got truly romantic). I couldn't put out such a call and expect the same level of willingness from girls. And yep, again, sad double standard, but I know I'd feel worse having had a random person inside my body than I do when I've been the one in the random person. Sounds silly I'm sure but that's my honest opinion. I'm not saying any of this is how it "should" be, but it's how it is for the most part. If a girl wants to f*ck lots of guys, more power to her. That's perfectly legit. But the simple fact is that an attractive female could, in one sentence, have 4 out 5 guys ready to go back to her place, and guys typically have to work harder (it's true). Making it a little less "empowering" for a woman to be a slut than a guy. Because there is undeniably less of a challenge in the seduction. And yes, of course, a guy who is a slave to his c*ck isn't empowered either, I agree. Let me addend that I'm just calling things as I see them, not as I think they should be. And yes I find my male friends who are willing to **** anyone to be doin it wrong. I like to f*ck , but I only really enjoy doing so with a girl who i truly find physically attractive, and share some kind of connection/magnetism with, whether it's brand new or old. Edited October 30, 2012 by RogerWallace111 2
RogerWallace111 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Also worth adding, again maybe it's where I live, but my friends who have been with the most ladies happen to be the ones who have women coming onto them the most. Many of whom know their "reputations". It doesn't stop them. In fact I don't remember the last time I heard a guy's "innocence" or low number of sexual partners touted as some positive thing by a female. But guys seem to value that in a girl. The double standard is alive and well, there's nothing to be debunked about it.
Pompom Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Yeah I can understand the OP not wanting to be with this girl, guys who have slept around are a huge turn off to me. The one thing I don't understand is the guys acting so morally superior to these "sluts" yet they will happily bang them on a late night booty call. That puts you on the same level as them buddy, sorry. I was talking to one of my friends today who knows one of these guys and apparently he wants to "settle down" with a girl who has less of a past after living a player lifestyle for years and none of those girls want him cos they know his reputation LOL. And he can't believe it cos of his huge ego. So it makes me laugh every time a man whore looks down from their high horse on these "sluts", they don't know how hypocritical and delusional they really are. Does he happen to be short, dark, have monkey-ish facial features, and breed sheep? Said idiot, trashtalked me to his ex for being "easy" as in "I click my fingers and she's here". Oh really? Too bad this guy, who whines about lack of love in this world, missed the fact that I sincerely loved him and genuinely felt like being there every time he wanted it, and, respectfully secretly, every other moment of every other day, too. That's not "easy", that's "eager to be with him". So on one hand he doesn't like it "easy" but on the other, he will go as far as to release rapists from prison to make a "difficult" ex return to him (for safety) and whine that she's being difficult. Now he's announced that he'll just take back yet another ex because "she's the one" - well it's a known fact that she will be difficult, too, because she no longer wants him either. And he goes around thinking he's IT. He actually says out loud that he assumes to be in my dreams and that he's sorry that this is the only place I'll ever see him Calls his ex to make her jealous by telling her he's screwing other women... "But I'd stop if you marry me" - NONE of us want any part of him anymore :lmao::lmao: I want a slut, but I don't WANT know she's a slut. That reminds me of a lot of brainless customers from back then. They look for "exclusive" hookers as in "only one man per weekend", or pay extra for GFE (girl friend experience, meaning more than just sex, like cuddling, talking, friendly interaction, maybe even activities). They would get their panties in a bunch, call hookers names, and be all angry, when hookers turned out to service several men in a day or even an hour. Like, they go to a hooker... and want to be the only one No, I think you didn't answer my question. What I said is, if you would be willing to date/marry someone who wasn't as experienced as you were in the counter-terrorism side? Would you still date "regular" joes? Wow, I really misunderstood you there Well, yeah, I would. When I really love someone, these things are secondary. On my OLD profile I used to list a bunch of things a man had to be, but I shortened it to "really patient and open-minded". Everything else, while desirable, doesn't feel essential when I think about it. When I love a guy, I want him for how he makes me feel. I only partially agree with the sentiment of that ^ but I don't think it's fully off base. Of course there's a double standard as far as the judgement of promiscuity in women vs in men, but women are historically, biologically and in the eyes of society the ones meant to be "courted" by males. Where as the men are the ones whose role has been that of the pollenator trying pass on their genes as prolifically as possible. That's not me saying "men are entitled to be sluts !", in fact one night stands, etc don't do much for me. But shouldn't we pride ourselves in being able to get over ancient views? We got over homosexuals being spawn of the devil, we got over burning redheads, we no longer lobotomize women who have an opinion. We are able to evolve and to know better than our forefathers. 1
Janesays Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 When will people learn that 'slut' isn't about the AMOUNT of people you've slept with. It's all in how you carry yourself. For example, if a person just really enjoys sex and is open and liberated in that department, carries her or himself with respect for his/her partner and his/her self, and adopts a 'don't kiss and tell' attitude, then others will respect them. Even if behind closed doors, talking to a significant other about The Past, it can be presented in a classy manner. But if someone carries them selves like they don't care, comes across as someone who needs reassurance or has past 'issues,' brazenly brags about conquests, etc, they will come across as slutty. This goes for men OR women. OP, you need to decide if your girl carries herself with respect and class or as if she believes she's trash. THAT will tell you more about her than the amount of men she's slept with...which is subjective. 1
meandmyself Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Well, to all of those who claim that the past is just that in the past and that you should not ask, here I have a question for you, would you like to know if the person you are going to date was a child rapist? Wouldn't you want to know that the guy you are going to date knows by the name all the whores at the local whore house? Will you comfortable marry a woman if you would know in the past she banged half of the men of your town? The past is part of what you are, is a very good excuse for sluts to say that their past only belong to them but is not that easy, people have the right to chose you by who you are and the past is part of who you are... I personally would feel disgusted to be with a woman who has as much control of her instincts as any dog in the street...
pbjbear Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 I'm done with her now. It was alreay annoying me with her facebook photos but to then learn about her one night stands has turned me off all the way. I found this out by some of the old photos on her facebook page with guys I aint never even heard of. When I asked her who these clowns were she finds it funny and says they were just one night stands she had from 3-4 years ago at clubs she used to go to. She says she was drinking and more carefree so it shouldnt matter but it does to me and I'm through with her for that. I knew this facebook picture stuff was trouble and now its destroyed anything we could've had together. I'm 31 and she's 28 and I cant deal with this like a hs kid or whatever. It just seems that too many women have shady pasts. Easyguy you are 31. How many ONS have you had? **** buddies? Casual sex arrangements?
pbjbear Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 I personally would feel disgusted to be with a woman who has as much control of her instincts as any dog in the street... Very few men nowadays dont have instincts of dogs in the street. Get off your high horse. Really this site has reinforced this idea in my brain that I am not missing out by not dating anymore.
meandmyself Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Very few men nowadays dont have instincts of dogs in the street. Get off your high horse. Really this site has reinforced this idea in my brain that I am not missing out by not dating anymore. I guess if someone feels that way is good they are indeed not dating anyone... by the way I do have full control of my instincts...
pbjbear Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 I guess if someone feels that way is good they are indeed not dating anyone... by the way I do have full control of my instincts... I meet very few men in real life that dont believe in this double standard. Perhaps its where I live but it is what it is. I cannot date someone who is so narrow minded. I have dated a few men who werent man whores, but theyre rare to come by.
meandmyself Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 I meet very few men in real life that dont believe in this double standard. Perhaps its where I live but it is what it is. I cannot date someone who is so narrow minded. I have dated a few men who werent man whores, but theyre rare to come by. I find it funny the need of justifying the way of acting by pointing out other people fault... So because in the world there are men with low standards it is perfectly correct for a woman to behave like a slut? This logic is what crushes me... The thing is that I am 36 years old and I have never, yes you read right NEVER , had sex outside a committed relationship (no buddies sex, no ONS, nothing), and it is not because I have not had chances... but as I said before I can control myself... I am not here to stone anyone but I just want to say that is very sad how the wrongly understood feminism has come to make think a woman that open her legs to anyone is not going to/or should not affect how men look at you because it will... maybe some men will not care but will be men who cares and if the one you get in love with is one of the last ones then you have a problem, either you lie (so you are holding him hostage with a lie) or you come clean and face rejection... life is like that...
pbjbear Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 I find it funny the need of justifying the way of acting by pointing out other people fault... So because in the world there are men with low standards it is perfectly correct for a woman to behave like a slut? This logic is what crushes me... The thing is that I am 36 years old and I have never, yes you read right NEVER , had sex outside a committed relationship (no buddies sex, no ONS, nothing), and it is not because I have not had chances... but as I said before I can control myself... I am not here to stone anyone but I just want to say that is very sad how the wrongly understood feminism has come to make think a woman that open her legs to anyone is not going to/or should not affect how men look at you because it will... maybe some men will not care but will be men who cares and if the one you get in love with is one of the last ones then you have a problem, either you lie (so you are holding him hostage with a lie) or you come clean and face rejection... life is like that... If I met a guy like you, Id date you in a heartbeat. A guy who has self control is a turn on to me. When I meet men with this quality I take more serious interest in them. But coming from a woman's point of view...you are RARE. Again, for the 2nd bolded part. You are rare. It is becoming more common for women to be expected to put out. I have had two exes encourage me to be sluttier saying nothing is wrong with it and times are changing. I could go on and on about my struggles of the "when to put out" due to fear of being labeled as slutty OR prude. Every guy is different and many are not upfront and honest. Many guys will push for sex and say its okay and then act different after. Just letting you know from a woman's point of view. As for the last bolded part, only date women who arent slutty. I really dont see the issue. There are far more inexperienced girls than there are inexperienced guys. You will have an easier time than women who only want to date nonslutty men
youdunsay Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 Now I gotta find a lady thats more low key. And guys complained that low-key girls are boring.
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