Pompom Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 I know I'd be more compatible with a person who's had a few fairly long-term relationships rather than a load of one night stands. But the OP and his girlfriend were doing fine without his knowledge of her past, meaning what kept them together was something other than their past. It's like saying a steak you've previously been enjoying, suddenly tastes foul because you learn an animal was butchered for it. To say it suddenly tastes bad and to stop eating, is unreasonable. The quality of the steak did not change. Knowledge alone does not change anything. It's what you do with it, and that is your sole responsibility, you cannot blame the steak, nor that girlfriend. Basically someone who didn't care about their body at all. Is it International Let's Exaggerate Beyond All Reason Day? Let's say it was reasonable to reject everyone who has previously had one night stands and all of mankind acts accordingly, then the larger part of world population will probably stay single. Seriously all I see here, is retroactive jealousy and an unreasonable fear of STDs because those can be easily tested for. 6
ScreamingTrees Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 But the OP and his girlfriend were doing fine without his knowledge of her past, meaning what kept them together was something other than their past. It's like saying a steak you've previously been enjoying, suddenly tastes foul because you learn an animal was butchered for it. To say it suddenly tastes bad and to stop eating, is unreasonable. The quality of the steak did not change. Knowledge alone does not change anything. It's what you do with it, and that is your sole responsibility, you cannot blame the steak, nor that girlfriend. Is it International Let's Exaggerate Beyond All Reason Day? Let's say it was reasonable to reject everyone who has previously had one night stands and all of mankind acts accordingly, then the larger part of world population will probably stay single. Seriously all I see here, is retroactive jealousy and an unreasonable fear of STDs because those can be easily tested for. Well, I agree with your first point. I just dont believe that's an exaggeration in many cases, but I guess I was going off-track because I wasn't specifically addressing promiscuity, though I guess these things are often found amongst the promiscuous. The girls and guys who I've personally known to do drugs and drink often nowadays look terrible for their age, and they're barely in their 20s. They were also very promiscuous. I think it's safe to say that they didn't think about what these things would do to their body in the long term, if anything..
Pompom Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Well, I agree with your first point. I just dont believe that's an exaggeration in many cases, but I guess I was going off-track because I wasn't specifically addressing promiscuity, though I guess these things are often found amongst the promiscuous. The girls and guys who I've personally known to do drugs and drink often nowadays look terrible for their age, and they're barely in their 20s. They were also very promiscuous. I think it's safe to say that they didn't think about what these things would do to their body in the long term, if anything.. Young people going wild and experimental, sounds very non-disconcerting to me, more like, average. Nothing that would deserve punishment by break-up years later. If you eat too much of one thing, it begins to not be special anymore. And that's a reason to dump someone because..?
serial muse Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 (edited) This just looks like a simple case of imcompatibility to me. I don't see why it has to be a referendum on this woman; she was who she was long before EasyGuy met her, and it was once he got to know her a bit better that he saw this. There's nothing wrong with him for wanting a different type of person, and there's nothing wrong with her for being who she is. Why does there have to be a bad guy here? In EasyGuy's other thread I noted that I can totally see why he would feel uncomfortable, and that frankly, I probably would too. Because I too have a smallish circle of friends on FB, I'm not much of a flirt, and - most significantly for me - I have had bad experiences with a flirtatious partner in the past and so I'm not comfortable with a partner being all flirty (even if it's just flirting) with other people. So that's just a personality thing. But I understand that other people see the world differently, and that doesn't make them evil skankmonsters. It just means they aren't for me. Edited October 29, 2012 by serial muse
tori0001 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 I think the past should be left in the past, and it's not who she is now. It shouldn't be held against her.
Pompom Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Are you comparing people having had some harmless, legal fun in the past, to people who hurt others (criminals)? I didn't know some youth promiscuity made you a slut or that being a slut is a bad thing or that having been a slut in the past, makes you deserving of harsh judgement in the present. Correct, he deserves to know the person she is today. But everyone is entitled some secrets and, unless we're talking about criminal/unethical behavior, a chance to prove their worth. 2
ParadeRain Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Are you comparing people having had some harmless, legal fun in the past, to people who hurt others (criminals)? I didn't know some youth promiscuity made you a slut or that being a slut is a bad thing or that having been a slut in the past, makes you deserving of harsh judgement in the present. Correct, he deserves to know the person she is today. But everyone is entitled some secrets and, unless we're talking about criminal/unethical behavior, a chance to prove their worth. No, he deserves to know the PERSON SHE IS(.)(full stop). There is no "person she was yesterday", "person she was last year", "person she is today", "person she will be tomorrow", that's bullsh*t... She was born the same person, and she will die the same person, the person playing with barbie dolls 20 years ago is the same person knitting sweaters for their grandchildren in 40 years from now, SAME PERSON. You're actions yesterday make you the person you are today, THAT IS YOU, nothing can change that. 1
Hawaii50 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Say you were in the mossad and you had killed a bunch of people. Would you tell your SO, what about how you also had sexual relations with a lot of the officers you work with? Every Israeli (man or woman) serves a minimum of 2 years in the Military but can opt for a civil service of some sort...and longer for more technical jobs, so I'm sure if he's intelligent, it's assumed. You're asking stupid and hypothetical questions to someone at least twice as smart as you. People shouldn't question things that they don't have the emotional or intellectual capacity to digest -bottom line. 2
ParadeRain Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Newsflash Mr. Bitterness, people change. It is a fact of life. They live and they learn, and the grow. That is what life is all about. Not everything is so black and white. I know first hand that people change, I used to... well lets just say I got in with the wrong crowd and did some pretty bad things, I changed, I'd never go back to that way of life... but that doesn't erase the reality of what I did, that doesn't mean the person doing those things back then wasn't me, because it was me... same name, same DNA, same mind, ME. I don't feel like I have a right of immunity to being judged on those things just because I don't do those things anymore, at the time I chose to live that way, and even though I'd never go back there, I'm still capable if I wanted to, that's the person I am.
Hawaii50 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 See most us guys can't even handle talking about the subject let alone being a part of the subject. I think a lot of the issue between men and women nowadays (especially the judgments) are just the leftover from a different era where double standards were tolerated by subservient women. notsomuch anymore. If a guy can hollow-out 10 girls in 10 days/weeks/months, it's not any different... There've been threads on LS as stupid as " Girl slept with in on first night, is she a slut?" WTF is that?! Were you not there too, on the first night?! 1
ParadeRain Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 I am sorry but your anecdotal metaphor is less then convincing. Most people don't change ? I would love to know where you got your FACTUAL information from. Let me answer that. You are projecting your personal experience. We are human beings, not robots, we have free will and everything is done by choice. If a girl was the type of girl to get ****ed in a nightclub toilet every weekend by a random guy 4 years ago, there is NOTHING but her own choice stopping her from doing that again this weekend... To rely on the notion that she has "changed" is WEAK, GULLIBLE and EMBARRASSING on behalf of the guy trusting her.
ParadeRain Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Yeah no offense, you are one person in the sea of billions. You choose to dwell on the past. Move on. Life is top short. You're delusional. You're suggesting that yesterday has no impact on tomorrow... How about I shoot you in the face? I wonder how your family will feel about that tomorrow. And even more so, I wonder if they will ever be able to forgive me and become my friend based on the fact I had changed and promised to never shoot anybody in the face ever again... You're delusional.
Hawaii50 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Damn dude you really have a big crush on her. It's ok, she rejected me too. You'll get over her eventually. Just remember hot girls like pompom don't want guys like you. Yeah, intellectually, I can't help myself. In every subject she's always presented herself in a very intelligent, experienced, and well thought manner. I have no idea what she looks like, nor do I really care. Even the hottest of the hottest are a dime a dozen. But the hottest of the hottest + wicked-smart, notsomuch. I'm not her side because my intellectual crush, either, I'm her side cause she's right. she's even open my mind a little bit with the steak example. I've had my own experience concerning women's pasts, and their futures via fantasies and such that I was not comfortable with thinking about that time. But I'm open to learn, to see things in different lights and shades as they present themselves. That's the primary difference between you and I. Also, I don't ask stupid and hypothetical questions that serve no purpose as she already dissected your argument and lack of reasoning apart. You think you're entitled, and you're not-Accept that.
tori0001 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 People change. What a person did in their twenties, is not the same things a person will do in their thirties, or your forties. A person will grow and change from their lifes experiences. 1
Hawaii50 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 A human is like a flower. They grow and then wither and die. But nothing inside of them changes. Honestly most people don't change and that isn't bitterness to say that. Do you still do the things you did in highschool, if you're not still in highschool? 20's? 30's? No, just as Alex was saying.. you learn and grow (ideally), and sometimes do thoughtless, irrational, or self-serving things, not saying anything in particular. But you can't base a person's entirety of a few things such as a few one-night stands. There of course exceptions, but in the criminal or inhumane sense.
ParadeRain Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 No it is actually embarassing that you are insecure at the notion that a person can realize why they behaved the way they did and modify it and change it. Happens alot, if you come out of your self absorbed comfort zone. We are not robots We are not programmed to think and act a certain way, As human beings we act upon free will, at any given time. A girl who was banged by an entire football team in the past has shown that, by her own free will, at any given time, she is capable of doing that again in the future. Please enlighten me on what changes to stop her and guarantee that she's never going to do that again? You don't seem to understand how much free will we actually have in this life... if I wanted to, at my own free will, I could go outside right now, pimp slap an old lady, set fire to a police station and run through the mall naked screaming like a mad man... I chose not to do that, but you can not guarantee on my behalf that I will never do it... because if you do then in that case I will go and do those things right now just to prove your ignorance wrong.
ParadeRain Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Maybe she realized that she had low self esteem, and it took someone to sit her down and give her tough love to explain to her that there are other ways to attract men ? What if the pope wore a thong ? I don't deal with irrational hypotheticals. Say you crapped in your pants in Kindergarten, you did that on your own free will, you will continue to do that. It shows how judgemental and close minded you really are. I used to be like you. But I changed my way of thinking. Closed minded????? my opinions are so open minded if got a ****ing hole in my head!! Read what I am actually saying. I am saying any women on this planet can at free will open her legs and **** any dude on the planet... You are saying that some women "change" and wouldn't do that, I can't give you any evidence for the guarantee I am presenting... but just take it from me... she changed and she wouldn't do it... :rolleyes: Who is really the closed minded one here? I bet you believe in god too don't ya... typical I'm actually giving way too much lenience on this... A spade is a spade. A slut is a slut. Trust no bitch - there's some philosophical bullsh*t you can relate to, considering you have no hope understanding reality.
Hawaii50 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 We are not robots We are not programmed to think and act a certain way, As human beings we act upon free will, at any given time. A girl who was banged by an entire football team in the past has shown that, by her own free will, at any given time, she is capable of doing that again in the future. Please enlighten me on what changes to stop her and guarantee that she's never going to do that again? You don't seem to understand how much free will we actually have in this life... if I wanted to, at my own free will, I could go outside right now, pimp slap an old lady, set fire to a police station and run through the mall naked screaming like a mad man... I chose not to do that, but you can not guarantee on my behalf that I will never do it... because if you do then in that case I will go and do those things right now just to prove your ignorance wrong. So if I told you I did that in the past- but as you know me, you've never thought I could be capable of such acts, is it right to automatically assume that any day I'm going to go out and repeat said crimes?! This is a strawman argument in the sense of the OP's victim-less and consensual acts vs. crimes involving many victims. Know that first and foremost. And it's not like the OP's woman was doing that in a committed relationship. I've already agreed that the OP's woman could have approached the situation better by not laughing it off or even disclosing that she did all these other guys. Her fault. Her lack of experience. Guarantee she won't do that again. Anyone who thinks that this is the basis of a woman's character (what she does while single, 20, and in a bar) is either inexperienced, probably religious, and or has an ego so fragile that they need a double standard for their own security.
Hawaii50 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Closed minded????? my opinions are so open minded if got a ****ing hole in my head!! never heard the quip about not being so open-minded that your brain falls out? 1
truth_seeker Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 What's that saying? Once a whore always a whore? Can't turn a hoe into a housewife. I don't blame the OP for letting her go. 1
ParadeRain Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 So if I told you I did that in the past- but as you know me, you've never thought I could be capable of such acts, is it right to automatically assume that any day I'm going to go out and repeat said crimes?! No, not that you're going to, just a respect that you're "capable". I'm done with this issue it's pissing me off, try your best to understand the above statement, but either way, I don't give a shazbot about this issue anymore... I've aired my opinions take it or leave it.
Hawaii50 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 What's that saying? Once a whore always a whore? Can't turn a hoe into a housewife. I don't blame the OP for letting her go. or a husband. at least be fair. 3
Hawaii50 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 No, not that you're going to, just a respect that you're "capable". I'm done with this issue it's pissing me off, try your best to understand the above statement, but either way, I don't give a shazbot about this issue anymore... I've aired my opinions take it or leave it. appreciate your opinion, although off-topic and irrational.
CptSaveAho Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Wow a bunch of kids and women who whored out their life telling Easyguy to ignore it .... Facts are... guys dont want to turn whores into housewives. It doesnt work. We aren't suckers... Thank god Easyguy has a BRAIN and sees this. She didnt tell him about the one night stands, she threw it in his face. He's doing the right thing... Move Along... Nothing new here 1
ParadeRain Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Wow a bunch of kids and women who whored out their life telling Easyguy to ignore it .... Facts are... guys dont want to turn whores into housewives. It doesnt work. We aren't suckers... Thank god Easyguy has a BRAIN and sees this. She didnt tell him about the one night stands, she threw it in his face. He's doing the right thing... Move Along... Nothing new here I don't even know why I got all philosophical on this BS... I should have just kept it real and said something like this.
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