Please help me!!!!!!

[Really Confused]

I feel like I am going insane!

 

When I met my current bf, (my first really serious bf)it took my parents 2 or 3 months to get used to the idea that i had a bf. I took me what seems like forever to get them to let me have him. I have been with him for over a year now. When we first met, the thing that scared me most about him, is that I was his first serious gf as well, and from the looks of it, he was not gonna let me go. I felt really good to think someone cared for me that much and so on. But in the beginning I always told myself that I, since this is my first bf, was not gonna settle down right away, you know. Lately I have been talking with this other guy that I met and he and I have really clicked. He always says that right things to me and never pressures me into anything. I always feel good around him and safe, not to say that I don't feel the same with my bf. My problem is this... I feel that if I let my bf go, I would be making the most terrible mistake I could ever make, then again, If I stay, I could be messing up his life by pretending to go along with it. I have very very good feelings towards this other guy and would actually like to see where it would lead. I feel bad because when I think of my bf I feel bad that I would be leaving his loving arms, the way he treats me, and the sex... can you beleive that? Even though I feel secure with him, I have this tiny nagging feeling in my chest that is telling me just to look around, and if I don't find anything else to come back to my bf. Then again, what if he never wants to see me again... then I would feel incredibly stupid!! I have spent all these days crying over what feelings I have. I can't grab on to an answer. I really wish I could talk to my bf about it but when I do I think, why would you want to leave him?? Oh please, if anyone has gone through this or has any opinions then please inform me. Leaving him could be the best thing I could ever do, or the worst mistake I could ever make.

[Fay]

You must remember that this new person my be a completely different personw hen your actually going out with him, he might completly change.

 

If you are having second thoughts about how your relationship is going with your current b.f then it's natural for you to find something else out there that could be better, "The grass is always greener on the other side" if you get what I mean.

 

Leaving your current b.f for someone else that is better is not a good reason, you this guy (your b.f) is not the man that you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with then you wouldn't be seriously thinking about someone else.

 

You really respect your decisions whatever they may be and know that not all relationships don't work out and sometimes people just grow apart, and that you are not letting yourself or your b.f down if you brake up with him.

[Tony T]

Everybody goes through what you are going through. Have not a worry.

 

It is likely that when you break up with your boyfriend, it will be for good...and you should make it that way. For him to heal, he will have to cease contact with you and it could take him a while. But you do absolutely no service to him whatsoever by being with him while you are curious about other guys.

 

Go with your gut and see other people. I promise you, no matter what the outcome of this new guy and you, there are many more men that would be great for you. At some time, though, you have to give up the notion that there may be someone else out there for you. Because at any given time, yes, there are other guys out there that would be perfect for you. Unless you intend to look for a lifetime, one day you will have to decide on one special guy.

 

When you are ready to settle down with one person, you will be absolutely content with the person you are with at that time, providing you are in love.

 

In time, you will give little thought to your guy now. You may look back from time to time with fondness because he was your first, but your overall feelings for him will be pretty much flat. So don't worry.

 

You are in no way ready to settle down with one guy. I personally would encourage you do date around for a while. But if you want to explore this new guy you are interested in, by all means do so. If it doesn't work out, you will be free to find others you have lots in common with.

 

In searching for a mate, you have to really pay attention to them and to your feelings. But until you are ready to settle down, have fun and don't worry so much. Staying in the relationship that you are in now out of obligation and fear of hurting your boyfriend rather than out of personal happiness and completeness is totally crazy.

[Deejette]

But Fay is also correct when she says that the new guy may not be as wonderful once his party manners wear off. It is easy to be infatuated with someone that you don't really know much about. There is the whole new mystery angle to it, whereas you are pretty sure you know all about your current boyfriend.

 

You would be leaving the comfort of the known for the adventure of the unknown. So think about it a little more. Try to picture what your life would be like if you left your bf. How happy would you feel? Would you be going from one guy to another without giving yourself a chance to find out what you really want?

Everybody goes through what you are going through. Have not a worry. It is likely that when you break up with your boyfriend, it will be for good...and you should make it that way. For him to heal, he will have to cease contact with you and it could take him a while. But you do absolutely no service to him whatsoever by being with him while you are curious about other guys. Go with your gut and see other people. I promise you, no matter what the outcome of this new guy and you, there are many more men that would be great for you. At some time, though, you have to give up the notion that there may be someone else out there for you. Because at any given time, yes, there are other guys out there that would be perfect for you. Unless you intend to look for a lifetime, one day you will have to decide on one special guy. When you are ready to settle down with one person, you will be absolutely content with the person you are with at that time, providing you are in love. In time, you will give little thought to your guy now. You may look back from time to time with fondness because he was your first, but your overall feelings for him will be pretty much flat. So don't worry. You are in no way ready to settle down with one guy. I personally would encourage you do date around for a while. But if you want to explore this new guy you are interested in, by all means do so. If it doesn't work out, you will be free to find others you have lots in common with. In searching for a mate, you have to really pay attention to them and to your feelings. But until you are ready to settle down, have fun and don't worry so much. Staying in the relationship that you are in now out of obligation and fear of hurting your boyfriend rather than out of personal happiness and completeness is totally crazy.