Lisa_Lisa Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 It's been 4 months since the breakup and 4 months of NC. I didn't think he'd ever contact me since I went apesh*t when he began to brush me off after the breakup. Unfortunately, I texted with a mutual friend of ours and I asked her if she had spoken to him. She said yes and that he told her he bought himself a plasma tv, is saving up for a car, and has a girlfriend that wants to marry him. He's down, but after he gets the car. Needless to say, my eyes began to water, and on a whim, I decided to email him. I didn't tell him I love him or anything just that I felt bad how we ended things and I really miss him as a friend. I wish we could talk about his job, his life, even his love life (I know it'll hurt, but that part of us is over). I told him I don't like holding grudges with people I care about. He may never answer and even if he does, of course, it'll be unsatisfying, but since I've already been told he has someone else I can deal better from here on in. It's easier for me to actually know he has a girlfriend than to imagine that he does because I'll always have hope that he's still single. Like I said, it's over between us, I just want him back in my life. I wish we cold erase that stupid love we had and just be cool like we used to be. But he'll probably hold that grudge. Ok, sorry so long, just wanted to vent. He's not writing back. I don't exist.
winstonsdreams Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 Hey don't beat yourself up over it ok? Seriously you are the better person for sending that email (even though it was a mistake). Please understand that now you have sent that email and received no reply, you must never contact him again. I have been there, heck we all have, but you have to stay strong and move on. I broke NC once and sent a text, i got no reply, from a girl who used to love me to pieces. But she has a new boyfriend, and ignored me, i have never been so hurt before, it really did put the whole situation into perspective. So i wrote a 'final' email, said look sorry should'nt have sent the text, i will never contact you again. But i wished her well, and said i am glad she found someone happy and if she ever needed me i would be here (God i cringe when i think about that haha) but it's done now, and it's been nearly 3 months and i feel real good, i know another girl will come along eventually. But right now i am focussing on me and what i want out of life. You have to delete them from your life, read all the NC help on this site, talk to people here, Taramaiden is a NC demon, she will always give you the hard word. But you sounds like a good person and you need to move on. He has a new woman in his life, do NOT contact him again, so you can find someone who deserves you! Please believe that! 1
JSJS Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 Just move on and don't waste your valuable time and energy waiting for a reply. I broke NC recently too and felt like a fool - actually I was humiliated and felt like I was back to the start again. See my latest post - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/351513-broke-nc-back-square-one If he is moving on so should you - you deserve more than waiting for him. I wish I could listen to even 2% of my own advice... 2
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted October 12, 2012 Author Posted October 12, 2012 I said my peace because it was weighing me down. I just wanted him to know that I don't feel that way anymore. I really don't like to hold grudges. I'm not a cold hearted person. I knew he'd have a new girl by now, but now that it's been confirmed I actually feel better because it puts a stoppage on my hope. We were friends before and I would like to be friends again - not the hang out kind of friends, but the kind where I won't feel weird if I wanna call and say hello. He was never mean to me during or after the break up, but it was his rejection that hurt the most. So, 4 months later, I feel strong enough to say, 'hey, I've been thinking about you' rather than 'I miss you', 'I want you back', 'I still love you' kind of stuff. I simply said I feel bad that I lost you as a friend. In my experience, I feel like life is short. If you wanna say something, say it. If you wanna do something, do it. You'll never know if you don't try. Rejection is a part of life. We all go through it, but it passes and fades and we all eventually move on.
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 Don't know what is going through my ex's mind, but I know he is truly over me, and a part of me thinks he never really loved me at all. But it hurts the way I'm being cast aside. I know I wasn't a perfect angel in the relationship; sometimes my anger got the best of me, but he wasn't an angel either, and there were times I begged him to treat me better. But now I know I can't do this anymore. After the email I wrote to him last week - which he didn't respond to - I happened to see him on MSN Messenger (I hadn't seen him there since the 23rd of July, yes, I know, I remember the date) and so, I decided to speak to him because goodness knows when I might see him on it again. I just said, "hello" and nothing, in fact his status went from "available" to "away" then I wrote ('cause I let my emotions speak for me), "the only thing I want is to be your friend and nothing more." And he still didn't respond, at which point I thought I might cry. But then a couple of minutes later he just wrote, "Hi, I was eating lunch." So I wrote, "how are you, I wrote you an email, don't know if you've read it." But that was it. He didn't respond and logged off. So yes, now I know, 100% certain that he doesn't want anymore more to do with me. I thought with 4 months passing by, he might speak to me, but he must have a strong dislike for me to not want to speak to me. Now that I'm sure, I won't contact him again. I'll leave it be. It was a bullsh*t relationship from the start. We were friend's before this, but unfortunately we can never be friends again. If I thought for even a second that he might care about me, I've been proven wrong. Screw him. Screw him. Screw him.
KatZee Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way. It does set you back, so use this as a lesson. That part of your life is over. Door's closed. On to bigger and better things. I did what you did. Went "apes.hit" on my ex. The only difference is that I don't feel any guilt or remorse for doing so. In fact, I should have said what I did ages ago. I don't think I could say things I did say, and then try to come back and be like, "can we be friends?" 1
Own Worst Enemy Posted October 17, 2012 Posted October 17, 2012 so i wouldn't beat yourself up thinking that he never cared. that's not helpful for you, and it doesn't sound like that is the case. however, what is quite clearly the case is the fact that he is not able to be friends now. and if he doesn't want your friendship, regardless of the reason, as you so rightly said.... SCREW HIM.
Author Lisa_Lisa Posted October 17, 2012 Author Posted October 17, 2012 The ex (or whatever you want to call him) and I have a close connection. See here is my confession. He is the step-son of one of my cousin's. I've got 7 years on this guy. We didn't grow up together, obviously, me living in America and he in South America. We never talked much even when I visited his country, so I only got to really know him early this year. So, yeah, this is the real reason I HATE losing him as a friend/step-cousin because we did get along before he started messing with my head, telling me how he's always liked me, and asking me if I liked him, and then I just let myself get swept up in this delusion. I'm always going to know about him because through marriage, we are technically family. Even though we're not FB friends, whenever someone from my family posts something either they tag him or put up something of him or a picture, etc. He'll never be completely out of my radar. I hate this because I never should have accepted him in the first place. I'd rather have him as a friend than enemy, especially since I'm always going to know about him. But the cold reception I got today means that he is not ready to be friends. Maybe he does still care about me. I don't know. I'll never know. As of right now talking to me is not his priority. It might never be. Well, I'm glad I got that off my chest. I'm not as angry as my earlier post, but it is what it is. He's still not ready to be on talking terms. I hope by the time he is, I won't care anymore.
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