raiderman75 Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/166522-i-think This is the link to the first post: Hello, I haven't been on here in...well.... 4 yrs lol I remember that evening writing this so vividly but so much has changed. Here is a small recap of the last 4 yrs. Her fling with this guy lasted until about november of that year and we began to talk and hang out together again but no commitment from her aside from being "friends". On January 1st of 08 a childhood friend showed up at my door literally at 1am after being kicked out of the house he was sharing with his gf (her home). It was so nice to have somebody around because living alone while dealing with our break up was wearing me down psychologically . He soon found out he wouldn't be moving back in there and decided to have his things moved here and moved in with me. As soon as this happened I felt a huge sense of relief to be with someone who was going through the same thing, together we were able to help one another cope. The minute she knew he had moved in with me and I was no longer hounding her, she wanted to commit. She started coming over all the time,calling etc Soon enough we were back together and in no time all of our old issues resurfaced and my mistrust in her created an inevitable blockade that wasn't going to be passed. We stayed together for a little over a year and finally parted ways in july of 09, there was a sense of regret but no pain and crying like the first time because this was more "mutual". We had NC until that coming spring when she contacted me to see how I was and I learned she was injured at work and may not ever be able to work as an RN again. We again began to talk and hang out together repeating the same cycle all over. She was out of work and hanging out at a local bar now, which really turned me off and we were stuck in the cycle again. I broke it off this time and we both went NC, I went on a couple of dates during that time but nothing serious. She however got into a full blown relationship with some guy she met and had already almost moved in with him by the time we had made contact with one another AGAIN in dec10. Things were different , she no longer showed any level of interest in me besides friends now, and I found myself wanting to be with her. By then she was still out of work and now drinking all day to boot! I still felt like I loved her and wanted to really make this work this work , so when she told me she had broken up with the BF ( he was addicted to Oxy's) and needed to find a new place( my friend had just moved out) I got all excited with visions of us going back to the old days and wrote her a huge letter telling her how much I loved her and how I wanted her to move back in and be one again etc etc She said she would think about it...days passed and she would keep saying " still thinking" . After some prodding for an answer she finally said no. That hurt because I had exposed my cards and was shot down yet I still kept meeting her for lunch, talking on phone,walks but no sex or anything intimate. She needed to move out of her apartment a few months later and moved in to some older guys house who was going to rent her a room because he was getting a divorce and needed the extra cash. I helped her move in and then slowly she began to withdraw..no more lunch, walks...nothing. Finally she tells me through an email that she is dating this guy (who is 50 yrs old by the way...she is 35) . We remained friends and would talk and email all summer I soon learned he was not only 50 but he was jobless with a kid and another guy addicted to oxy's. This lasted a few months until in jan 12 she contacted me to see if I had a roomate yet because "Dave" was losing his home to foreclosure. Like a MORON I AGAIN!!!! had those same visions of grandeur as if we were "soulmates" DUMBASS! I told her she could move in, have her own room and just pay for the gas, elec,int/tv, which worked out to between 430 in the winter and about 300 in the summer, I payed the rent which was 1200. She also said she would clean,do laundry,and buy all the sundries. I didn't care I just knew I'd be living with her again. Here it is oct 12 and I sit here after living with her since feb and it has been a complete disaster! She is addicted to a mmorpg game that she plays from about 11am till 2-3am 7 days per week while drinking beer and not lifting a finger to clean a thing, the first few months she wouldn't even bathe for a few days! She was home 24-7 playing the game and drinking She turned down any talk of us and shot down any advance I would make saying she was done with men for a while. Yet I still wanted her!!! I don't know why? she went from a perfectly fit health conscious woman with 2 college degrees making good money as an RN...to a drunk who sits around all day playing a game and cracking a beer by 11am yet DUMBASS over here still wanted her!!!!! In july she started to go out again a night a week turned into more and more and turns out she is back with the 5o yr old! Nothing I can say ... we were living as "friends"...he plays the game as well. He lives at his moms with his kid and no job yet she seems to think he is quite the catch!! They are now supposedly getting a place together lol her on disability and he with a parttime job under the table. I'm baffled and completely disgusted by my myself more than anything!! I have spent the last 4 yrs with my personal life on hold waiting for someone who has not felt the same about me for the past 4 yrs and has kept me as her standby. She moved in here only because she had no where else to go. There is some pain still, not much but a small sediment of rejection that still lingers. Im writing this to get a sense of closure and finally move on....something I have should have done when I first wrote this thread. So my advice for anyone who is cheated on is to run away! run far away!! someone wrote that in a reply the first time. Any thoughts?
Author raiderman75 Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 I wrote this in word and then copied and it somehow became one giant paragraph:( sorry
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Wow, not kidding hard to read. Had to highlight the lines with my mouse in order to not go blind. Ok, I read this entire post and skimmed through the last one. I'm glad you're moving on, I'm glad this saga is over for you, and I can tell you learned something which is always good. Any thoughts? Yes, her leaving her boyfriend for you (even though her realationship was falling apart) was the first major red flag. Recently (5 months ago) a woman offered to leave her husband for me. I never dated her, I never kissed her or was intimate. We were just really good friends. I wanted to say yes because I also developed feelings for her, but thought to myself "where does this go from here", "I start dating a woman who leaves her husband for me", "what happens in 1-5 years if/when she gets bored with me"? I told her I wasn't interested and we should just remain friends. If she leaves him on HER terms then there is a chance (she hasn't yet). I'm not here to beat you up because you've been down a loooong road but, what did you expect was going to happen? Sayings like "once a cheat always a cheat" aren't just made up. In closing I hope you're happy you had this experience now that it is over. You/we have all gained knowledge, and hopefully you've saved someone from walking down the same road as you. Also, no more word please
hinatticus Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 That's a crazy story dude! I'm pretty sure you know what to do. Do it and enjoy your life without that leech.
21flames Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/351134-unbelievable-exit-story I can see me having gone through a lot more **** for years like you unless I take control now!
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