What got you to ACTUALLY START diet & exercise

October 8, 2012

What pushed you over the edge to actually DO SOMETHING about being fat and unfit?

I made the jump myself, a month back. Looking back, I see my issues were mostly emotional and NOT as I had thought, physical or logistical. Here's my story, please share yours, and your thoughts:

I'm 47, white, male. Earlier this year I reached 114kg and a BMI approaching 40 ("grossly obese"), after about fifteen years of putting on an average of couple of kilos each year since marriage, with the rate increasing the heavier I got.

My marriage has not been smooth: for the last 12 years there has been a lot of conflict with my wife, over real issues (work and kids) and also over none. She is an unhappy person, and this has made for a turbulent marriage. Instead of dealing with the conflict and issues directly, I just battening down the hatches and just stoically plodded on, waiting for the bad times to be over. Perhaps that's a male thing. It was a poor strategy, however. Looking back I see my morale and self-confidence wearing down to the point where I over-ate for comfort. I told myself it was because I liked food, or because I was bored. Both of those were true up to a point. But really it was because there was no unblocked outlet for my needs and desires. I tried a couple of diets, but my emotions and actions were not aligned, they crashed after a month each.

The crisis point? There were two: one when I confronted my wife about her not investing her emotions in the marriage, the other when she finally told me things about her past life, some of which were hard to deal with. The shock stopped me eating for a couple of days: I don't recommend you try that as a kickstarter, but it worked for me.

And look where it got me: In the last month I have lost 4kg and have done more voluntary exercise than in the last ten years, all put together. I have joined the gym and taken classes, got myself a heart rate monitor and put myself on a diet. I have a bet with a friend to lose another 10% of my body weight by Xmas. I ran 3km yesterday - more than ever I have before.

What has surprised me, is how easy it has all been in terms of mental effort. Most of the change is in my head: I know what I want in my personal relationships, have made up my mind how I am going to go about getting it, and stopped wanting to please other people all the time. I should mention I am also having a LOT more sex. Not an option for everybody, but it has worked for me.

In a nutshell: It was a matter of realization that I was in a bind, and that I could do something about it. I wasted a lot of time, before I got there.

If you've a story of your own, tell it. If you're still stuck, read & think, and for your own sake, get off the fence of stoicism, hoping it will go away, waiting for better times, waiting for people to be nice to you. Don't wait for that.

October 8, 2012

I had severe acne growing up. I entered puberty early and my testosterone levels were excessive for my age (which was worsening my condition). I was called all sorts of names, which were only frustrating because my condition wasn't of my own doing. I got fed-up of being "out of control". I felt powerless and worthless and thought I had nothing going for me. When I hit 16, I had finished growing (vertically anyway) and my acne had pushed me to the edge. I became withdrawn, oversensitive and pessimistic. I often asked God to take my life, but he never did. I developed body dismorphia and acne dismorphia. I picked and scratched at my skin till it bled. I used dangerous chemicals, only to find my condition deteriorating. I could no longer look people in the eye, from fear of catching their eyes scanning my face. Eventually I gave up on my skin and took control of my body. I lifted weights that I could barely lift and I often injured myself, but I was a masochist back then. I kept training, day after day, doing research of how to grow stronger. I came across a few studies that linked exercise with anti-depressive abilities, which explained why I felt more serene after a hard training session, though it was short lived.

I became addicted, as I watched my body grow. Though I was still getting picked on in school, I was now receiving compliments in P.E for the drastic change my body was undergoing. My acne took a backseat to fitness and that was about 5 years ago. My acne has now a non-issue and I've pushed my genetics to their natural limits and my mind is a lot stronger for it. I've developed somewhat of a "bulletproof ego" and there isn't much now that I'll allow inside my head, whereas before, I absorbed everything. Training is like second nature to me now and I need it just as much as I need oxygen. I will never stop, so by the time I hit 40, I'll still have the body I have now (barring accidents). They say that in order to create, you must first destroy. Well acne destroyed me mentally and emotionally, but in return, I became a self-assured, physically fit and mentally sound young man. In some ways, I'm thankful for it, but when someone mentions their adolescence, I still shut off because it has become somewhat of a repressed memory for me.

Edited October 8, 2012 by Titanwolf

October 8, 2012

I gained nearly 100 pounds over a 2 year period while taking medication for anxiety and depression. I kept that weight until 2010, mainly because I could care less about life (depression). My breaking point was when I had to go see a podiatrist to get cortisone injected into my feet so I could walk. The rapid weight gain had made my joints weak, my ankles often buckled when I walked and I had to use a cane. When I saw myself in the reflection of a store window, I was ashamed and disgusted. I realized how much I'd lost and missed out on my entire life, it kind of all came flooding over me. I realized how alone I was and how lonely too.

I weened off the meds, got back to the gym, adopted a positive attitude, readjusted my eating and lifestyle - and I refused to give up. Today I have lost it all, short of 2 little pounds and I'm in the best shape of my life.

Life is too short to waste.

October 8, 2012

I'm glad you figured it out before it was too late river. No one deserves to live like that...

Life is too short to waste.

For those contemplating taking up fitness, remember this ^^. You only get one. Why not be in the best shape to enjoy it to the maximum?

October 8, 2012

Thank you Titan. I plan to live to the ripe old age of at least 120 Need my body and health in order to do that.

October 8, 2012

I have lost over 35# since January because I was afraid for my health.

I saw my BP jump to the high 130s over 80ish. I felt my legs stiffen when I sat too long. I felt tired. And I was worried about my blood sugar levels.

So I lost weight out of fear. I am also around 47 and had a BMI of 28. Not obese but at the higher end of overweight. Being that I was skinny much of my life until marriage, I knew what I needed to do...again. I chose a plan that fit my lifestyle and have been able to keep to a BMI of 23 (normal weight) for about four months now. My BP now stays around 115 to 118 over 65 to 70 most every day. (Yes, I have my own BP machine). While I don't know my cholesterol and blood sugar levels, I know based on past physicals that my levels should be very good now if it is consistent with my weight and levels in the past.

My goal is to drop to a BMI of about 21 or 22. This leaves me with five pounds to go...and keep off.

I must admit that now it is a bit of vanity to keep looking this good. It has been over fifteen years since I was at this weight. Usually my weight loss plans brought me down to just in the normal, but then I let it go back up again. This time I am monitoring my weight daily to keep myself aware.

I know...losing is easier than keeping weight off. And yes, that scares me.

October 8, 2012

I have lost over 35# since January because I was afraid for my health.

I saw my BP jump to the high 130s over 80ish. I felt my legs stiffen when I sat too long. I felt tired. And I was worried about my blood sugar levels.

So I lost weight out of fear. I am also around 47 and had a BMI of 28. Not obese but at the higher end of overweight. Being that I was skinny much of my life until marriage, I knew what I needed to do...again. I chose a plan that fit my lifestyle and have been able to keep to a BMI of 23 (normal weight) for about four months now. My BP now stays around 115 to 118 over 65 to 70 most every day. (Yes, I have my own BP machine). While I don't know my cholesterol and blood sugar levels, I know based on past physicals that my levels should be very good now if it is consistent with my weight and levels in the past.

My goal is to drop to a BMI of about 21 or 22. This leaves me with five pounds to go...and keep off.

I must admit that now it is a bit of vanity to keep looking this good. It has been over fifteen years since I was at this weight. Usually my weight loss plans brought me down to just in the normal, but then I let it go back up again. This time I am monitoring my weight daily to keep myself aware.

I know...losing is easier than keeping weight off. And yes, that scares me.

Good for you! Yeah, fear is a good motivator. I had high blood pressure too at my heaviest, but it's been normal now for a few years.

I know what you mean about vanity, I can't stop looking in the mirror, lol...well, you know, with pride of course coming first! I haven't seen my ab muscles since 2004!

I disagree though, losing for me was the hard part because it required so much motivation and discipline. It was very emotional when I didn't see the loss I expected each month. I think that during the getting healthy phase, we learn a lot about ourselves and how to lead a healthy lifestyle, so it's easier to keep that up. At least I'm finding it easier now, as long as I keep staying active and eating well, keep my mental health in good shape, I don't even think twice about my old bad habits.

October 8, 2012

I've lost about 100 pounds. My BMI was 45ish at my heaviest - now I'm right under 30. I'm in my mid-20s.

I grew up in a fat household. I've always been fat. When I was a kid, it wasn't as bad - I was slightly chubby (maybe 10 or 15 pounds overweight). As I got closer to puberty, I got to around 50 pounds overweight. And then it just kept going from there.

My mom is a very controlling person (narcissistic). I spent most of my evenings after school stuck at home with her. I could do nothing right: if I didn't do every task perfectly (or sometimes, even if I did), she'd pick out the flaws and tell me I "screwed everything up" or I "ruined everything." Eventually I'd just never do what she told me to do: it was better to not do it and get screamed at than to put in any effort and still get screamed at.

I was discouraged from ever having friends over, as she obsessed over the cleanliness of the house. I remember when I was in the 6th grade, some of my friends showed up to hang out with me. It was unexpected, and after they went home, mom was LIVID. I remember getting screamed at for over an hour, told to never let it happen again, etc. Yet she'd say I could have friends over, I just had to "let her know ahead of time." Guess what? I never had friends over.

She had a very fatalistic view of the world: it was all doom and gloom, nothing we could do to save ourselves. She discouraged me from getting involved in extracurricular activities: she'd moan endlessly about the money, the time involved, etc. (I did pull out of that a little bit when I joined marching band in high school. So...I was basically isolated for the first 14 years of my life).

I was very depressed, even suicidal, for several years starting from the time I was about 10. I spent most of my time alone in my bedroom, journaling. I had no privacy: she'd find my journals, and for a while I was desperate and I'd find new hiding places. Eventually I gave up. It was hard, because that was my only place to 'think.' My door never had a lock on it. I was the family scapegoat until my brother started dating, but once he moved out with his wife, the hell was all back on me.

I ate all the time because I had nothing else to do. It made me feel good. I had no clue HOW to lose weight: I had people tell me I had to eat less than 1200 calories a day. So after a few weeks of starving...I'd go back to eating whatever I wanted.

I was 18 when I first started losing weight. I was tired of being ignored and being single. I lost 60 pounds, met my first boyfriend. During that awful relationship, I gained about 40 back.

I've been back to working out and exercising regularly for the past 2 years. The weight has come off slowly. It's not as easy as it was when I was heavier, that's for sure.

So this story has something of a happy ending: I graduated from college, started working, I'm getting married, I've lost a lot of weight...I'm somewhat happy.

October 9, 2012

Titanwolf, JamesM, RiverRunning - thanks for telling how it was and is.

Titan/James - you guys are an inspiration. I will get there too.

River - you escaped an awful start. That was a moving life story. For figuring it out and making changes - you deserve some praise.

October 9, 2012

What pushed you over the edge to actually DO SOMETHING about being fat and unfit?

I made the jump myself, a month back. Looking back, I see my issues were mostly emotional and NOT as I had thought, physical or logistical. Here's my story, please share yours, and your thoughts:

I'm 47, white, male. Earlier this year I reached 114kg and a BMI approaching 40 ("grossly obese"), after about fifteen years of putting on an average of couple of kilos each year since marriage, with the rate increasing the heavier I got.

My marriage has not been smooth: for the last 12 years there has been a lot of conflict with my wife, over real issues (work and kids) and also over none. She is an unhappy person, and this has made for a turbulent marriage. Instead of dealing with the conflict and issues directly, I just battening down the hatches and just stoically plodded on, waiting for the bad times to be over. Perhaps that's a male thing. It was a poor strategy, however. Looking back I see my morale and self-confidence wearing down to the point where I over-ate for comfort. I told myself it was because I liked food, or because I was bored. Both of those were true up to a point. But really it was because there was no unblocked outlet for my needs and desires. I tried a couple of diets, but my emotions and actions were not aligned, they crashed after a month each.

The crisis point? There were two: one when I confronted my wife about her not investing her emotions in the marriage, the other when she finally told me things about her past life, some of which were hard to deal with. The shock stopped me eating for a couple of days: I don't recommend you try that as a kickstarter, but it worked for me.

And look where it got me: In the last month I have lost 4kg and have done more voluntary exercise than in the last ten years, all put together. I have joined the gym and taken classes, got myself a heart rate monitor and put myself on a diet. I have a bet with a friend to lose another 10% of my body weight by Xmas. I ran 3km yesterday - more than ever I have before.

What has surprised me, is how easy it has all been in terms of mental effort. Most of the change is in my head: I know what I want in my personal relationships, have made up my mind how I am going to go about getting it, and stopped wanting to please other people all the time. I should mention I am also having a LOT more sex. Not an option for everybody, but it has worked for me.

In a nutshell: It was a matter of realization that I was in a bind, and that I could do something about it. I wasted a lot of time, before I got there.

If you've a story of your own, tell it. If you're still stuck, read & think, and for your own sake, get off the fence of stoicism, hoping it will go away, waiting for better times, waiting for people to be nice to you. Don't wait for that.

I put on a lot of weight with medication....then i decided that i liked it because i didnt get hit on too much...overall i am actually a sports freak so this caused depression ....so i gave up hiding.......i gave up medication first as soon as did my zest fro life came back...i gave up thinking about my ex......and started to change my fitness into actually a semblance of what i was before........i also have an attraction for someone that drives me a bit out fo the house.....get restless......so that impacts me and insomnia so exercise also helps that....when i dont exercise i don't sleep well not off medication...i found the church that i always wanted to be a part of...they found me actually....god sent them....lol..i was still reclusive..that set the ball rolling....my church and me wanting to be happy not just exist..everything centers around that....im actually happy still battling mental illness..some days i think i dont deserve to be happy.......that is my brain ruling not my heart...but i am happy lol......or i am getting there might be a better answer....then watch out world....;0)...deb

Edited October 9, 2012 by todreaminblue

October 9, 2012

well having a heart attack in may did it for me...having a job with constant 12 hour days made it hard to hit the gym,excuses,excuses...after clearance from dr. started back lifting and cardio...

November 10, 2012

What pushed you over the edge to actually DO SOMETHING about being fat and unfit?

My marriage has not been smooth

If you've a story of your own, tell it. If you're still stuck, read & think, and for your own sake, get off the fence of stoicism, hoping it will go away, waiting for better times, waiting for people to be nice to you. Don't wait for that.

See the "Intro" thread I posted a little while ago. It was when my wife left me for another guy she met at work that I decided it was time to look after Number One. Her idea of a great weekend was lying on the couch taking a nap between watching her DVRed shows. I shouldn't have let myself get into such a sedentary lifestyle, but I'm working on fixing it now.

Best of luck to you! I'm down about 46kg in the past 18 months (if my conversion is correct).

November 10, 2012

Not really sure, i've tried a few times and just went back to my ways, hope it doesn't happen this time! My eating habits have been absolutely horrible for years. My savior was that I work construction so I get a lot of exercise and even eating fast food, pop, etc a TON i'd still loose some weight in the summer no matter how bad/how much I ate, then put it back on in the winter when i'm not doing as much. But after a bad shoulder injury i'm leaving construction for something more long-term so I joined the gym again and going to stay active that way because i'm not going to get the exercise from work anymore.

Health wise i've always been ok, BP and stuff a bit over normal but nothing crazy. Weird thing is, I had it checked about a month ago it was a bit high, had it checked this week it's already down to completely normal.

I'm 6'6" 260lbs right now lightest i've been in a long time, i'm hoping to get down to about 220-230, just depending where i'm happy at, also looking to gain muscle so the weight number is not a huge factor, it's more when the gut is gone. At my highest I was around 300lbs. The weird thing is, because of my large frame I don't even think I look THAT much different between the 40lbs but I get compliments all the time, and I can feel it in my clothes, I mean my stomach is smaller but it doesn't seem like 40lbs difference. Clothes that barely fit before because they were to small, barely fit because they are to big now.

I got heavier after my parents divorced around 9 years old, when eating habits went from home cooked meals all the time, to eating out all the time and got a bit less active. I see pictures from before and I was always really skinny.

November 11, 2012

I wanted to continue looking good as I got older. I like food and love to cook, so exercising burns a few extra calories but you still cannot eat like a pig. There is a saying in fitness circles: "You can't outrun a doughnut."

November 11, 2012

I've just got exercise into my regime on a regular basis as I am lazy so I just didn't get motivated.

What drove me was when my friend convinced my ex girlfriend to go out with him behind my back while she was going out with me and the fact I needed to get into shape for motorsport. Plus I wanted to get the ripped look (6 pack etc) as I struggle with self confidence and self esteem so this'll help me (although my breakup actually gave me more self esteem and confidence weirdly as I knew I could do better.)

November 12, 2012

I hated that I wasn't better than everyone else.

Still hate that I'm not better than everyone else. Keeps me motivated til the day I turn 50

November 12, 2012

I wanted to continue looking good as I got older. I like food and love to cook, so exercising burns a few extra calories but you still cannot eat like a pig. There is a saying in fitness circles: "You can't outrun a doughnut."

Except you can. Just not with "working out". You'd have to go through some pretty grueling high intensity sprint workouts, but it's doable.

Only I doubt that a lot of people have the willpower.

November 12, 2012

Today I am going to start eating healthier.

This thread was my motivator. I've been following SmileFace's thread but that chick is hardcore.

I'm just going to pick up some protein from gnc and start drinking smoothies. I eat like crap too often.

November 12, 2012

Today I am going to start eating healthier.

This thread was my motivator. I've been following SmileFace's thread but that chick is hardcore.

I'm just going to pick up some protein from gnc and start drinking smoothies. I eat like crap too often.

And I am going to hold you to this post!

After losing almost forty pounds since January, I can say that it certainly feels good. I am almost to my goal of being at the weight I was on our wedding day...almost 23 years ago. Only one time during our marriage did I weigh that much (besides during our first year or so of marriage, and that was about twenty years ago...and then it all went to... . I always blamed it on my wife's cooking.

Now to maintain it....

BTW, it was interesting when I looked at my weight loss over the past year. I lost 30# in the first five months and now it will be only 10# in the last five months! That last few pounds ARE the hardest to take off.

Again, my motivation was simply my health. Now my motivation is to stay in my 32" waist jeans.

November 12, 2012

And I am going to hold you to this post!

After losing almost forty pounds since January, I can say that it certainly feels good. I am almost to my goal of being at the weight I was on our wedding day...almost 23 years ago. Only one time during our marriage did I weigh that much (besides during our first year or so of marriage, and that was about twenty years ago...and then it all went to... . I always blamed it on my wife's cooking.

Now to maintain it....

BTW, it was interesting when I looked at my weight loss over the past year. I lost 30# in the first five months and now it will be only 10# in the last five months! That last few pounds ARE the hardest to take off.

Again, my motivation was simply my health. Now my motivation is to stay in my 32" waist jeans.

Good for you James. 32" waist jeans??

I'm not doing it for weight loss. I actually got the diet out of some magazine that promised to drop 25 lbs. in ten days or something and when I first started it I gained weight.

But the smoothies were really good and I got a lot more fruit that way so that's basically the point. If I get my sugar that way I won't be so inclined to eat cookies and cakes so much.

Are you exercising more now?

November 12, 2012

So everyone here is talking smoothies.

Is it the basic fruit and ice smoothie, or something a little more substantial?

Personally, I've been doing a "green" smoothie for breakfast every morning and including "superfoods" in it, such as Cacao Nibs, Goji Berries, Flax Seed, and Wheatgrass. I also include Spinach and Kale.

While it may not be as yummy as the fruit-only smoothies, overall I'm feeling MUCH better and my hikes don't seem as strenuous anymore.

November 12, 2012

So everyone here is talking smoothies.

Is it the basic fruit and ice smoothie, or something a little more substantial?

Personally, I've been doing a "green" smoothie for breakfast every morning and including "superfoods" in it, such as Cacao Nibs, Goji Berries, Flax Seed, and Wheatgrass. I also include Spinach and Kale.

While it may not be as yummy as the fruit-only smoothies, overall I'm feeling MUCH better and my hikes don't seem as strenuous anymore.

The ones I make have ground flax seed, pea protein, almond or soy milk, a little bit of almond butter and fruit.

They are delicious!

November 12, 2012

Good for you James. 32" waist jeans??

I'm not doing it for weight loss.

Are you exercising more now?

Thank you. First time I have been back into 505 Levis and 32" waist since my dating days. Yes I am bragging!

Healthy eating is always good, and a "side effect" is usually some weight loss...even if it is minimal. But if you don't need to lose and want to gain, then you would have to adjust your diet.

No, I try to work out most weekday mornings. But I have proven to myself that just working out is not enough. Cutting calories is what matters. In fact, while working out and eating "normally," I didn't lose. But when I quit working our for awhile (summer schedule) and cutting calories...I lost weight.

So everyone here is talking smoothies.

Is it the basic fruit and ice smoothie, or something a little more substantial?

Since I think you want to lose weight, then I would also suggest a meal replacement shake or two for your meals. Making a smoothie using that will still give you the amount of vitamins and minerals and protein that you need. There are a number of good ones (probably) at your local health food store. I will occasionally add fruit or cocoa or even whipped cream to them and find that this is enough. I always add flax...makes for a more "regular" day.

Calories in versus calories burned is usually the best way to lose. If you do alot of sitting for your job, then eat less food until you see the weight dropping off. If you can burn it, then you can eat more. Just be certain that you get enough HEALTHY food in you.

November 12, 2012

Total vanity - I have a beach wedding next year (my wifes son) and I wanted to look as good as all the young jocks that are gonna be there.

Plus I feel pretty damn good, and it has other physical benefits!

I'm six one, down to 192 from 210.

I'm not dedicated, I slip up often, missing two or three days at a time and don't watch the calories that well. I get out on the bike for a hard one run once a week. So although the wieght is coming off the body definition isn't really coming through.

I'd really like to have a fitness partner - a gorgeous young woman would be ideal!! but I'm not much of a gym-rat so I tend to do home gym stuff, walk the legs off the dog.

November 12, 2012

Since I think you want to lose weight, then I would also suggest a meal replacement shake or two for your meals. Making a smoothie using that will still give you the amount of vitamins and minerals and protein that you need. There are a number of good ones (probably) at your local health food store. I will occasionally add fruit or cocoa or even whipped cream to them and find that this is enough. I always add flax...makes for a more "regular" day.

Calories in versus calories burned is usually the best way to lose. If you do alot of sitting for your job, then eat less food until you see the weight dropping off. If you can burn it, then you can eat more. Just be certain that you get enough HEALTHY food in you.

My breakfast replacement smoothie consists of:

2c Unsweetened Almond Milk

1c Strawberries

1c Mixed Berries

1c Cranberries

1 banana

14g Flax Seed

14g Cacao Nibs

14g Goji Berries

1 cube wheatgrass juice

56g Spinach

28g Kale

I nurse that all morning and it usually holds be until around noon.

I do a lot of sitting (I'm an IT Geek, obviously) but also try to walk/hike 15-20 miles a week. I do around 7.3 miles on Friday after work and 6.5 miles hiking at Stone Mountain on the weekend. The rest is made up doing walks and Couch25k other days. I've dropped about 20lbs over the past 2 months.

Unfortunately, it's not enough to get a date for my company's Christmas Party or NYE this year, but I have high hopes about next year!

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What got you to ACTUALLY START diet & exercise

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