Author Leigh 87 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 You DO realize what you just said right? That the man who says he is in love with you and wants to be with you forever has no problem with having sex with a hooker? A hooker and a non-hooker are both females, both NOT YOU. You said he got it out of his system early in the relationship, yet he still feels like he is not cheating because he is having sex with a hooker, therefore there is no emotional attachment. Okay, he isn't emotionally cheating, but that is PHYSICAL cheating my dear, don't kid yourself. This Andrew has no idea what true love is. I can't stand it when my boyfriend talks about going to a strip club with his friends, if he had sex with a hooker, he is out the door and I'm not looking back no matter how much I love him. And for you to be okay with him having sex with a hooker because there is no emotional attachment, I think you are either a) lying to yourself, or b) have some serious psychological issues you need to address. He has you wrapped around his little finger and can get his sexual pleasure from a hooker and know you won't care at all. You thoroughly enjoy the thought that you are not enough for him sexually that he has to have sex with a hooker or even think about having sex with a hooker? That is not only insulting to you, but also dangerous to you, who knows what kinds of diseases he holds! Well we have decided to try a long term relationship together, hooker free. I highly doubt he will leave me or cheat on me because I am not enough for him sexually. Despite our past. He did what he did because some men can do it, whilst still really liking their partners. You have no proof that he does not care about me. If I left him if would not just forget me fast and realise he never loved me. Him not caring about me, like you allude to, would mean I could leave him and he would not give a cr@p, and very soon realise he was not in love with me. Unlike most men that cheat, we came to a agreement. Andrew was too immature and young to settle down when we met, I Just did not think he was ready. I wanted him to come to his own conclusion. Notoriously single men who never have girlfriends, I think, in some cases, need time to get their head around it, when they seriosuly like a girl. Anyway: I can see many happy years ahead of us. I do no think he is any more likel to cheat than other men. I think there is a strong chance he adores and loves me, in fact. I do not think he is going to ever meet another girl and think " wow, I never loved Leigh 87, I soo didn;t care about her at all"
Bobibble Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Well we have decided to try a long term relationship together, hooker free. I highly doubt he will leave me or cheat on me because I am not enough for him sexually. Despite out past. He did what he did because some men can do it, whilst still really liking their partners. Unlike most men that cheat, we came to a agreement. Andrew was too immature and young to settle down when we met, I Just did not think he was ready. I wanted him to come to his own conclusion. Notoriously single men who never have girlfriends, I think, in some cases, need time to get their head around it, when they seriosuly like a girl. Anyway: I can see many happy years ahead of us. I do no think he is any more likel to cheat than other men. I think there is a strong chance he adores and loves me, in fact. I do not think he is going to ever meet another girl and think " wow, I never loved Leigh 87, I soo didn;t care about her at all" What you're failing to comprehend is that it is not about what you have decided to do, it's about his mentality. He just said he has no problem having sex with a hooker even though he is with you, but he is agreeing to TRY to be in a long-term relationship with you hooker-free. That is NOT enough for me, I don't know how it is for you. Yes, some men can do that, WHY do you still stay with a man that is capable of doing that? It's no wonder you always have to defend yourself because him doing that emotionally scarred you whether you want to admit it or not.
Author Leigh 87 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 And Andrew makes it clear that he is very sexually turned on by me, thanks. As for strippers? That is not cheating to most women in the 21st century. If it is for you, than obviously that is your choice, and you will seek out men who do not do it often, so as to not upset you. Andrew does not see strippers besides one bachelor party since we met two years ago. I am cut from a different cloth to you, evidentally. The hookers did not even bother me. And I know what true love is, I have had other relationships. ...I read an old thread on here from 2009, where a women considered a guy looking at even 2D images was cheating... As in porn or magazines of any sort. Look, when you start out in a relationship, some people have different ways of dealing with it, and I picked a way that I felt was best for us both. He now know's meaningless sex is pointless and does not desire it. He realises that, seeing as he no longer desires to kiss and be intimate with other women, that robotic sex with a hooker is no longer worth doing. I happened to want Andew to figure this out first hand before we got serious. I feel he was the sort of guy who needed to learn that lesson, in order to realise the seriousness of the relationship he had.
Bobibble Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 And Andrew makes it clear that he is very sexually turned on by me, thanks. As for strippers? That is not cheating to most women in the 21st century. If it is for you, than obviously that is your choice, and you will seek out men who do not do it often, so as to not upset you. Andrew does not see strippers besides one bachelor party since we met two years ago. I am cut from a different cloth to you, evidentally. The hookers did not even bother me. And I know what true love is, I have had other relationships. ...I read an old thread on here from 2009, where a women considered a guy looking at even 2D images was cheating... As in porn or magazines of any sort. Look, when you start out in a relationship, some people have different ways of dealing with it, and I picked a way that I felt was best for us both. He now know's meaningless sex is pointless and does not desire it. He realises that, seeing as he no longer desires to kiss and be intimate with other women, that robotic sex with a hooker is no longer worth doing. I happened to want Andew to figure this out first hand before we got serious. I feel he was the sort of guy who needed to learn that lesson, in order to realise the seriousness of the relationship he had. Really? Having sex with a stripper is not cheating for most women? Then why is it that all of these men who do it have to hide it from their wives because if they don't, they know their wives will leave them? In the first post that I had quoted you on, you said that he just recently said that he would be able to have sex with a hooker because it was meaningless and just for pleasure, so which one is it? Does he still feel that way, or is that all in the past now? Yes I think we are cut from a different cloth, because most women would cut off their man's hoo-haa if they stuck it in another women's hee-haa regardless of whether it was meaningless or not. Wanna know why? Because it is INSULTING to you, no matter how okay you were with it. If he were to have sex with a hooker now and come back and say it was meaningless sex and that he still is in love with you and would never do it with a non-hooker, what would you do? I would also like to add that I never said he wasn't sexually turned on by you, my mistake if that is what you thought.
Author Leigh 87 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 What you're failing to comprehend is that it is not about what you have decided to do, it's about his mentality. He just said he has no problem having sex with a hooker even though he is with you, but he is agreeing to TRY to be in a long-term relationship with you hooker-free. That is NOT enough for me, I don't know how it is for you. Yes, some men can do that, WHY do you still stay with a man that is capable of doing that? It's no wonder you always have to defend yourself because him doing that emotionally scarred you whether you want to admit it or not. I think there are plenty of men out there who are capable of being in the deapest love, and yet be able to go to a hooker. The key here is; just because they can does not mean they want to. Andrew is a guy who CAN do it, but I do not think he wants to at this stage. He has stated that he would like to get serious, and that he has no desire to do it again. I am choosing to believe him, based on how I know him. I do not think he has to "try" very hard to not go to a hooker. He is not the type to be in a long term relationship if it is some " effort" to keep his d.ick in his pants. We had a bit of fun. We even had threesomes early on. But we wat to give long term monogomy a shot now, as we feel that our love is at that level, and both want a long term future. There will be no more hookers from now on. If I thought he would have to "try" to keep himself from them, I would have walked.
Author Leigh 87 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 OH, I agree; in a long term, serious relationship seeing a hooker WOULD be insulting to me. That is why he has stopped; he knows it is not part of a long term, healthy, monogomus relationship. It was something we did before things got serious. He had strong feelings for me and loved me I believe when he did do it, but it was still the beginning of the relationship, and I handled in the best way for us. Now we seriously think about marriage and a future, hookers are absolutely not part of it. My only argument is, the fact he was able to do it back then is NOT indicative of how he feels about me. I do not believe there will ever be a women who he wouldnt have been able to do it to; i think he loves me as MUCH as he CAN love a women, pretty much.
rainfall Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 . As for strippers? That is not cheating to most women in the 21st century. If it is for you, than obviously that is your choice, and you will seek out men who do not do it often, so as to not upset you. Almost every chick I know considers strippers/lap dances to be cheating. 1
Author Leigh 87 Posted October 12, 2012 Author Posted October 12, 2012 Almost every chick I know considers strippers/lap dances to be cheating. Fair enough. I don't have an issue with strippers and lap dances. I believe a guy can be in love and still do that.
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