g450 Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 You are way too emotionally invested in this issue. Maybe so but for good reason. OP asked for opinions and I gave mine. But like I said, usually what happens is the OP almost always ignors the advice because they are just fishing for justification for continued perpetuation of their drama with their exes through electronic media. The fact that they even have to come here to ask in the first place is usually a dead give away. Ill leave them too it. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 Can someone explain to me how if you delete someone who is no longer a "friend" it's the end of the world? I do not comprehend this. What "friends", your Ex and their family may or may not think is more important than your own sanity and happiness? Really? If he/she don't want to be your girlfriend/boyfriend, tell you they are done with you, possibly say they feel you should no longer or never talk again nor see eachother.....why in the world would you not say, "ok, if any same sex friend said this to me I would no longer be their friends, I will not treat you any other way." To see this as rash decisioning or juvenile is something I can't follow the dots on. Not to mention, once they burn that bridge, most do not want them back in their lives. This includes myself. So why would I want to have them in my life in any way at all? I admit to having growing to do and a lot to learn, but this is one thing I feel I both understand and get. Just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Svet74 Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 They would be hurt? Seriously? Their offspring betrayed you. What do they expect? They are NOT your problem. Why are you making them one in your life. They are a non-issue. And yeah I wonder what your future husband would think if you invited your exes sisters. Dont know about most but I personally would be offended by that if I were your fiancee. Hell why not invite some old boyfriends while your at it. People tend to only look a things short term and do not look at the bigger picture. Women like to talk. Do you really want to stay friends with people from a tarnished past with whom you really have to ties too? I wouldnt, but that's just me. I would cut all ties. yes i know their not my problem. and im not making my problem theirs. They come up to me and say hi so i say hi back. what do i turn around and walk away? I dont think my future husband would care if i invited the sisters lol honestly. its no big deal, unless he had big time security issues. but yeah now thinking about it maybe i should cut ties. I would just feel bad about it if i just disappeard like that. If i was moving or something like that then that would be a great excuse if you know what i mean. but sometimes i wonder why they even talk to me or are even nice. Link to post Share on other sites
robaday Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 What have my ex's friends done to hurt me? Generally they approach me if Im out and about and chat. Theyre always quick to wish a happy birthday or xmas, and I still talk to quite a few because they are SEPERATE people to my ex - seriously just cause one of that group doesnt like me, doesnt mean Im going to just delete everyone else. Its immature. For instance my friend bumped into my ex two weeks ago. Shed deleted him from that stupid website just because of his link with me - they were really good friends and grew up together. He approached her to talk and she just walked away. She created weirdness by having a dramatic fit from a stupid social networking website. Its ridiculous, people use it as some symbolic thing and create wayy bigger issues for themselves. I treat any of my girlfriends friends, or exes friends as my own. Ive taken the time to get to know them, and view them as seperate people from my ex. My image of my ex, or personal beliefs about her have nothing in common with her friends.....but maybe im just bitter because shes deleted all my friends;) Link to post Share on other sites
Svet74 Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 [quote= I treat any of my girlfriends friends, or exes friends as my own. Ive taken the time to get to know them, and view them as seperate people from my ex. My image of my ex, or personal beliefs about her have nothing in common with her friends.....but maybe im just bitter because shes deleted all my friends;) Thats exactly what im trying to say! what does my ex have to do with his family? ok so yeah we attend the same church, at church everyone approaches each other. His parents come up to me and ask me how im doing who cares? THe whole point is that as long as both parties do not bring up the ex then there is no drama. I see nothing wrong with that. especially when your over it Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 What have my ex's friends done to hurt me? Generally they approach me if Im out and about and chat. Theyre always quick to wish a happy birthday or xmas, and I still talk to quite a few because they are SEPERATE people to my ex - seriously just cause one of that group doesnt like me, doesnt mean Im going to just delete everyone else. Its immature. For instance my friend bumped into my ex two weeks ago. Shed deleted him from that stupid website just because of his link with me - they were really good friends and grew up together. He approached her to talk and she just walked away. She created weirdness by having a dramatic fit from a stupid social networking website. Its ridiculous, people use it as some symbolic thing and create wayy bigger issues for themselves. I treat any of my girlfriends friends, or exes friends as my own. Ive taken the time to get to know them, and view them as seperate people from my ex. My image of my ex, or personal beliefs about her have nothing in common with her friends.....but maybe im just bitter because shes deleted all my friends;) who do you think your ex's friends are loyal to? that's the reason you delete them. Link to post Share on other sites
g450 Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 yes i know their not my problem. and im not making my problem theirs. They come up to me and say hi so i say hi back. what do i turn around and walk away? I dont think my future husband would care if i invited the sisters lol honestly. its no big deal, unless he had big time security issues. but yeah now thinking about it maybe i should cut ties. I would just feel bad about it if i just disappeard like that. If i was moving or something like that then that would be a great excuse if you know what i mean. but sometimes i wonder why they even talk to me or are even nice. Why do they approach you? Simple, they are human beings. Humans are curious and love to gossip. And sadly many of them love drama, even at the expense of others. Your choice really but as somebody else here so correctly put it, who do you think they are loyal too? Food for though. Link to post Share on other sites
Svet74 Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Why do they approach you? Simple, they are human beings. Humans are curious and love to gossip. And sadly many of them love drama, even at the expense of others. Your choice really but as somebody else here so correctly put it, who do you think they are loyal too? Food for though. yes thats understandable. everyone loves ex drama. especially familys. Im sure they are always waiting for something to happen. well its not so they have nothing to worry about. im over it. I dont go there for them Link to post Share on other sites
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