Author mtnbiker Posted September 30, 2012 Author Share Posted September 30, 2012 This all depends on the state. He could refuse to give her a DNA sample. Unless she had a court order. A potential father has the right to demand a DNA test in court. Furthermore he can register as a "Putative Father" in a state database. It is a step he should take ASAP if he think's there is a reasonable chance he is this child's father. Furthermore, and I wish I knew this years ago, a potential biological father can petition for a DNA test without any consent from anyone. It has been well established that the rights of a biological parent trump all concerns, except the best interest of the child. What would filing this do, why should I do this? Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 You're in grad school, use your logic here. If you think you are a likely father, you wish to have legal parental rights, you may approach the court to get an order to require paternity. In your situation, sperm donor #1 is the legal father. There exist ways and means to undue this but courts are reluctant. Not to say that inebriated splooging a woman of questionable ethics and intellect Was in your life plan but now she's texting you too, tragic. Find a 3L law student, legal aid clinic or hire a lawyer. There exists a protocol for DNA profile tests. You have better things to do with your time than spin your wheels hashing out "what she wants". Sperm donor#1 is obligated to support the child until such time another man replaces him. I have no idea what state this child resides in nor what your graduate degree focuses on but what you have shared with us is purely tragic. Unless you really want enter the fray I'm not sure I would voluntarily offer my sample. Just my thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 What I'm trying to point out to you is this. As your story develops, sperm donor #1 is of legal record, paying child support, exercising visitation as is the paternal grandmother. Relationships have been established. There are provisions in the legal system for you to relinquish your rights. How strongly do you think you feel about parenthood with a woman such as this? There is no right nor wrong answer. You need to gain knowledge and use wisdom. I can see arguments for and opposed to offering up, in essence allowing her to run this game. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mtnbiker Posted October 2, 2012 Author Share Posted October 2, 2012 I felt it the only proper thing to do, so today I overnighted the DNA paternity test to the lab. We will hear hopefully by Friday. I could not have lived with myself if I had avoided her or worse yet run. I made my bed, now I need to lay in it. Chances are that I am not the father though, I'd say 80/20. I appreciate everyone's input and I have contacted an attorney incase I need help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mtnbiker Posted October 5, 2012 Author Share Posted October 5, 2012 DNA test came back today, I am not his father. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Face Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 So this is good news then, right? Not to downplay anything here, but at least you hadn't yet developed any sort of attachment to the child and began to assume it was yours. Kind of in the same boat, although I've been involed during the whole pregnancy. In a week or so, I'll be posting something similar. Anyway, hope you're happy with the results. Sounds like you dodged a bullet with this one. I assume you're going to stop contact with this girl, at this point? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mtnbiker Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 So this is good news then, right? Not to downplay anything here, but at least you hadn't yet developed any sort of attachment to the child and began to assume it was yours. Kind of in the same boat, although I've been involed during the whole pregnancy. In a week or so, I'll be posting something similar. Anyway, hope you're happy with the results. Sounds like you dodged a bullet with this one. I assume you're going to stop contact with this girl, at this point? It is mostly good news. I definitely dodged a bullet in the sense that the mother is a whacko. The only small downsides are that hopefully this isn't my last chance at having a son and the kid's father is a sad man and poor dad, so the kid would have had a better life with me. But this is not how I wanted it to go, not with a ONS, not missing the entire pregnancy, not missing the birth, not having my name, etc. I will see her around once in a blue moon, but will never contact her. Are you hoping for it to be yours or not? Link to post Share on other sites
The_Face Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 But this is not how I wanted it to go, not with a ONS, not missing the entire pregnancy, not missing the birth, not having my name, etc. I will see her around once in a blue moon, but will never contact her. Are you hoping for it to be yours or not? I know what you mean. Had it been your kid, I completely understand how horrible it would feel than to miss that stuff you mentioned, like the birth and whatnot. But it's NOT your kid, so I wouldn't feel bad about missing that stuff now. To put things in perspective (maybe) look at my position. I'm involved in almost all of the stuff with my ex's pregnancy, so if I end up hearing it's not my kid, I'm going to have a horrible time getting past it. And even though I'm 27, I have been wanting a kid soon. The other possible guy involved is just like the one you mentioned, and I know that I would be a way, way better dad than he could be. I hope it's mine. Hopefully now you can start fresh and find some girl who wants the same things, but ISN'T a psycho. Take care, mtnbiker Link to post Share on other sites
Author mtnbiker Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 I know what you mean. Had it been your kid, I completely understand how horrible it would feel than to miss that stuff you mentioned, like the birth and whatnot. But it's NOT your kid, so I wouldn't feel bad about missing that stuff now. To put things in perspective (maybe) look at my position. I'm involved in almost all of the stuff with my ex's pregnancy, so if I end up hearing it's not my kid, I'm going to have a horrible time getting past it. And even though I'm 27, I have been wanting a kid soon. The other possible guy involved is just like the one you mentioned, and I know that I would be a way, way better dad than he could be. I hope it's mine. Hopefully now you can start fresh and find some girl who wants the same things, but ISN'T a psycho. Take care, mtnbiker I wish you the best and hope that you get what you want. You take care as well. BTW, you still have a few years of prime birth/dad time. Link to post Share on other sites
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