after breakup, i m stuck in between dreamworld and real world

[bikram_in]

hello all,

 

I met a girl at my college fest, and it was kind of " first sight love". i liked her, latter after few days we met in g-talk and i found out she is my friend's cousin sister. my friend acted a bridge between me and her and hence with it, our relation started to build.

 

slowly our chat duration increased and frequency per day also . v started to build confidence that after a month or so, we exchanged our phone no. the online chat gets converted to sms chat, and then to voice chat.

 

we met each other after 4 months in a food court.

 

as time passed, our friendship turned in love. i proposed her at 7th month of our first contact. since then we were glued to each other for next 3 long years.

 

things happened very smoothly, i was felling like heaven, was in cloud nine, i felt i m just gliding in open sky and she was wind beneath my winds. those 3 years were the best part of my life.

 

as time passed, on 4th year, i got a job outside city. long distance relationship started and days of happiness stopped. i started to meet her less frequent which developed insecurity within herself. to quench her insecurity, her wanted an assurity that i will be with her forever. i was deeply accepted by her family. but mine family was still in dark.

 

my mom and dad were getting old and i cant choose my own happiness over them so i told i will marry her only after my parents consent. she took it as an insult and started to part from me. the distance increased more when my mom said she is not planning anything about my marriage right now since i have a little sister and she will think about me after my sister marriage. also we are yet to buy a house to settle down so now there is no place of such discussion.

 

SHE took it at her heart and want to break off as she cant see any future in this relationship. i tried many times to let her understand that i will surly be with her but she have to wait coz my family is not in a state to talk about it. but all pain went in vain. she said she dont have any feeling for me nor for anyone else. i know she loved me but the situation forced her to make such decision. she wants some time, time of 6 months, to let herself know.

 

now its 3rd of the 6 month. we have not made any contact in past 3 months. i dont know how is she and what is she doing nor she knows about me. every single day and moment i miss her and think of her.. i tried to move on but i feel myself stuck in between dreamworld ( i feel her around ) and in real world ( i cant touch her )...

 

everyday i count, thinking what to do, should i wait for her? will i ever get back in my life? how will be the met after the breakup??

 

such question puzzles me..... i m still in the quest for an answer

[Calico]

my mom and dad were getting old and i cant choose my own happiness over them so i told i will marry her only after my parents consent. she took it as an insult and started to part from me.

 

Well, you're about 23? Is your cultural background a traditional Western one? If so, most women would probably feel "insulted" if their man tells them they can't marry them unless his mom and his dad approve of it. Most women want men, not boys.

 

As for feeling how you feel, that's pretty normal. You need to start working on letting go off the hope and focus on your life without her. Work on your independence, on your well-being, It's important that you stop waiting. Waiting and hoping get you stuck. They are like glue. You need to get to a place where you accept that this relationship is over and that she has moved on and will be with another man.

[bikram_in]

Is your cultural background a traditional Western one?

 

no, i m from india, my parents r dependent on me... and she is also in this same region.... both dont have any traditional Western background

and yes, it's quite hard to accept and move on.... i dont know whether she will return or not, but i cant forget her...

[LostOne1]

no, i m from india, my parents r dependent on me... and she is also in this same region.... both dont have any traditional Western background

and yes, it's quite hard to accept and move on.... i dont know whether she will return or not, but i cant forget her...

The problem is some girls EXPECT guys to leave their families for a girl, and I don't think that's right.

 

My ex knew I cared about my family a lot and at that time wanted to be part of my family. Then I don't know why, maybe she got jealous but said I'd have to leave my family for her. And I don't think that's right.

 

For her she doesn't give a rats ass about her own family, always talking crap about them nonstop. While for me, I don't have too too much to say about them.

 

It's a tough problem man, and all I can say is if she wants to talk she will contact you. If not you could always write an email and explain. But it's possible she doesn't want that life with family, but a life with just you and her.

[bikram_in]

The problem is some girls EXPECT guys to leave their families for a girl, and I don't think that's right.

 

i agree with you.... parents at their old age needs children's support.... and i choose their well being over myself..... and its not that my parents wont accept her, they would have but need time coz now v r not in a state discuss such issue of life..........

 

about HER, she is a good girl, she always said she would take care of my mom and dad, she is quite stubborn and independent and that's what i liked the most about her.... now her this quality has back fired me and hence lead to break up....

 

not contacting your love one is the most difficult job of life... i am in the stage where i cant even prevent myself think about her.... waiting for next 3 month.. hope she would contact me.... cozz i need many explanation from her.....