EasyHeart Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Soul Search is right. I've hurt a very nice, kind man who treated me very very well. I took that for granted and now I may very well have lost a very loving relationship with a man I really care for very much. This is my fault for poo poohing the Brian issue. I am totally at fault here, totally. God I am a fool!Don't over-react. You've hurt your boyfriends pride and he's going to need some time to recover, but this is not even close to a dumpable offense. But you need to reassure him that you love him and that you don't have any interest in this Brian douche. You do this through actions, not words. Bringing it up and making a big dramatic deal about it will only make things worse. Follow oaks' advice for an apology. THEN you need to be the world's sweetest and most attentive girlfriend for the next few weeks. Lavish him with attention. Do things for him that he likes. Make him the happiest man in the world. The way to do this is by doing things for him, NOT by having long agonizing talks. Men respond to actions, not words. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 The problem with being a super nice guy like Brad is that you basically guilt a girl into dating you. Super nice isn't sexy at all. Girls can have a hard time getting rid of guys like that when they aren't feeling it anymore. Not remembering his birthday, calling him by the one name he can't stand, allowing Brian to mess with him in front of you, allowing Brian to call you outside of work. Add these all up and it's pretty clear you're in that stage. Even if you get him to take you back now those base feelings won't go away, you will just end up annoying him even more in the future until he finally gives you the walking papers you want. Might as well go for it now. Find a guy you don't feel a passive aggressive need to annoy. One that you're really into. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
huntingirl2010 Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 My honest opinion... It is a long distance relationship... Depending on how long you guys have been together reallllly determines this one... If you have been together for quite awhile (which it sounds like you have since you "love him") you are completely screwed. My boyfriend has NEVER called me by the wrong name, but he had forgotten my birthday the first time since we were together and it was only a couple weeks later.. If you have been together enough that HE doesnt call you the wrong name and knows your birthday that means you are screwed. Men have more to worry about than remembering that kind of stuff (birthdays). And it usually takes one amazing guy that will remember and do stuff for you. Personally I think you ruined that one. Lots of apologies and beggings need to come your way. A side note: Don't talk bad about Brian. Seems to me you are trying to push it off as his fault. Everyone has someone attracted to them other than their significant other and not everyone calls their significant other someone else or forgets their birthday. Man up and confess that Brian was in fact on your mind for good things or bad. Tell Brad that and don't lie or pawn it off on anyone else. Hope the best for you. (BTW i am not trying to sound mean.. Just being honest and helping as much as i can...) Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 You can't really be that into your boyfriend, otherwise this wouldn't have happened. I think you should go for Brian and have some fun. Link to post Share on other sites
funnyface Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Just to add my 2 cents - this happened to me. Long distance, boyfriend calls me on my birthday and calls me by another girl's name. This other girl was someone he was interested in right before we started dating. Oh, and her birthday is the day before mine. I was emotionally destroyed and drank myself silly that night. In the end, it turns out that he really didn't love me, and was hung up on this girl, still. Quite honestly, its over for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 So I've been seeing this great guy, nice, very attractive, etc., but one thing, there is a man I work with who has been asking me out, flirting with me etc, it drives my boyfriend kind of nuts. Boyfriend is Brad, Co worker is Brian. Brad really dislikes Brian cuz Brian always has to be loud and the center of attention, BUT I have to work with him, I'm NOT interested at all. Brads birthday was last Friday, I forgot, and never said Happy Birthday even. When I realized it, I called him right away and as I apologized? I called him Brian! He didn't say a thing for a minute, then said 'I have to go, Ill call you right back' - he did NOT call back! I think ive really hurt him and I didn't mean too! I really really like him, even love him, but I think I totally ruined it. He has voiced his opinion of Brian more than once, infect Brian has been a bone of contention between us for a while. What should I do? He answerd the phone, but is quiet and almost cool to me, we had plans for this weekend bur now he may 'have to work' ! Help! We live 130 miles away from each other so I don't see him during the week! What should I do? And NO I am NOT interested in Brian at all! Leave your interactions with Brian to a minimal. Stop talking to him outside of work. Stick up for your boyfriend when Brian puts him down. And call Brad up and be very honest with him. Tell him how much you like him and that you don't want to loose him and that you know you messed up and want to make it up to him. Ask him how you can make it up to him. He will either soften a little and slowly get back to interacting with you again or he won't. Usually people respond well to honesty and admitting your mistakes with unabashed open communication. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Never underestimate groveling, and a really sweet blow job. Or 10.... Be prepared for the worst, hope for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCross Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Or 10.... Be prepared for the worst, hope for the best. Id rather walk on glass then get blown 20 times by a mouth that uttered the other name of a man by a woman who forgot my birthday Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Talk about a one two punch! A kick in the nuts and then a Stone Cold Stunner! lol Brad, Brian, Tomato, Tomatto. It's a possible flub but what happened is what's called a frueudian slip. You were thinking about which ever one your bf isn't lol. Try this freudian slip on for size I wonder what she was thinking about?? Link to post Share on other sites
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