Tribute to the good guys

[beyond]

Gibson's right! Being a disrespectful piece of **** is a good thing! Beat your girlfriend! Hell, be a rapist.

 

I tihnk Gibson has too much delusion about what being a man is.

 

Ok, Gulf, please show me where Gibson has said or even implied that being a disrespectful piece of **** is a good thing. As for the 'rapist' comment - have you been drinking tonight or something?

 

I've read and re read Gibsons post - this is what I read;

 

Let's clear up who / what a Man is and what he has to offer...

 

A man is compassionate, thoughtful, forgiving and understanding. He will bring out the very best in you and always have your best interest at heart. His actions and the decisions he makes are made with consideration to how they would impact / affect you or the relationship. He will create a safe and loving environment where you have the ability, encouragement and support to pursue your passions, your hopes and your dreams. You and your relationship are under his careful protection. He will not withhold his love from you. Both of you are equals in your relationship. He is not afraid to say, no. He will not let you walk all over him. He will put you in your “place” in a loving way, when it is needed. He knows what he knows and knows what he doesn't know. He is comfortable in his “own skin”. He will not hold a grudge and keep no record of any wrongs. He will cultivate goodness and inward beauty in you. You are his companion. He will provide the romance needed in the relationship. He isn't afraid to say that he is wrong or sorry. He is humble. He knows that he isn't always right and that he does not have all the answers. He respects and values your feelings, opinions and beliefs. You are his best friend. He will never stop pursuing you. He will offer his true self. He will not dishonor you. He would not purposely disrespect you and certainty not in front of others. He will always believe in you. He wants to know you and who you are. He cares about how you feel. He will not belittle you or make you feel small. He does not give ultimatums. He does not want to control you. He will gladly make sacrifices for you and the relationship. He will be there for you in your times of need.

 

I wonder why you feel so threatened and defensive by this....

[sweetheart5381]

Gibson's right! Being a disrespectful piece of **** is a good thing! Beat your girlfriend! Hell, be a rapist.

 

I tihnk Gibson has too much delusion about what being a man is.

 

Gibson is pretty "rough around the edges" but I honestly think he was calling OP on being a doormat. Women don't like doormats, I personally always hate it if I get the feeling a man is being superficially "nice" when really, they resent behaving that way internally. Ya, Gibson was harsh but sometimes criticism is.

 

Gibson has ripped me apart in past posts, quite viciously too I might add, but he really does get to the point, even if it seems harsh at the time. He picked the OP's post apart and brought up some very valid points. Nothing wrong with that.

 

To be a strong man or a woman means that you can stand by your actions at that moment and don't regret them. Doesn't mean you aren't wrong, but it means that you have the conviction to say what's on your mind and call it as you see it.

 

I can see both the OP and Gibson's point of view... they seem to contrast but in reality they don't. Gibson is pointing out a few things, that's all.

[Gulf-Delta]

Ok, Gulf, please show me where Gibson has said or even implied that being a disrespectful piece of **** is a good thing. As for the 'rapist' comment - have you been drinking tonight or something?

 

I've read and re read Gibsons post - this is what I read;

 

Let's clear up who / what a Man is and what he has to offer...

 

A man is compassionate, thoughtful, forgiving and understanding. He will bring out the very best in you and always have your best interest at heart. His actions and the decisions he makes are made with consideration to how they would impact / affect you or the relationship. He will create a safe and loving environment where you have the ability, encouragement and support to pursue your passions, your hopes and your dreams. You and your relationship are under his careful protection. He will not withhold his love from you. Both of you are equals in your relationship. He is not afraid to say, no. He will not let you walk all over him. He will put you in your “place” in a loving way, when it is needed. He knows what he knows and knows what he doesn't know. He is comfortable in his “own skin”. He will not hold a grudge and keep no record of any wrongs. He will cultivate goodness and inward beauty in you. You are his companion. He will provide the romance needed in the relationship. He isn't afraid to say that he is wrong or sorry. He is humble. He knows that he isn't always right and that he does not have all the answers. He respects and values your feelings, opinions and beliefs. You are his best friend. He will never stop pursuing you. He will offer his true self. He will not dishonor you. He would not purposely disrespect you and certainty not in front of others. He will always believe in you. He wants to know you and who you are. He cares about how you feel. He will not belittle you or make you feel small. He does not give ultimatums. He does not want to control you. He will gladly make sacrifices for you and the relationship. He will be there for you in your times of need.

 

I wonder why you feel so threatened and defensive by this....

 

According to Gibson, this kind of person is not a man.

[beyond]

According to Gibson, this kind of person is not a man.

 

Erm Gulf.....please read again - this is exactly Gibsons definition of a man.

[g450]

I still am having a hard time understanding some of the arguments here. It's almost surreal.

 

Since when did loving and caring for a woman make a man a doormat?

 

I dont hold my own needs over my wifes and I dont hold hers higher over my own, but I do respect them and meet them as she meets mine. It's not a competition. It's two people complementing and supporting each other in life. Since when did relationships become a pissing contest over who's needs are more important? Is that how some of you live?

 

I dont need somebody to question my self worth. I know what I am worth and just because Im a good guy doesnt make me a pushover.

 

I have always been the man I am at my corp. Fair, kind, loving and respectful towards women. If that makes me a doormat in some eyes then so bit it. Im not responsible for others warped view of me or life in general.

 

I dont care what the bad boys think of me. And truth be known, the bad boys in my eyes are total douch bags. The bad boy types I see are ignorant, live with their mothers, have no future and have nobody in their life that really cares about them. They are usually total losers and posers. I feel sorry for them in a way. They are to me something to laugh at. They are a joke. Being the bad boy may get you some azz from the local herpes infested town sluts but that is no way to live. You can have that crap lifestyle.

[beyond]

What is so hard to understand about this????

 

Women don't want a doormat.

 

Women don't want a bad boy.

 

Still no women have come on here to disagree with Gibson's definition of a man - because that is EXACTLY what we want!

 

Instead of moaning about that, it may serve a lot of men well to go away and think about that.

[Sunslides]

Bump

 

Anyone else care to say something?

[Heartfail]

I had one of the good guys described almost to a tee above

 

I lost him- through my own fault

 

that's why it hurts so much

[H3Drvr]

Good guys finish last, GREAT GUYS come in 1st.

 

Great Guys are just Good Guys with genuine confidence! You don't have to be an azz hole to be a Great Guy, just have some self respect for yourself because if you can't respect yourself, how can you expect a woman to respect (and find you attractive) you.

[Sunslides]

Good guys finish last, GREAT GUYS come in 1st.

 

Food for though....

[mcdo]

I was always the "good guy" through my teens and right through college.

 

It starts to matter when you get older and the "good" finally gets recognised and appreciated.

 

It may seem like a contradiction to what I just said but my ex was a few years younger than me (and so you would imagine she wouldn't be looking for a "good guy" at that point). But a good guy was everything she was looking for. I was one of the first people she ever met that didn't instantly hit on her and try and take her home to my place. So she gave me a chance and I grasped it with both hands.

 

A hell of a lot of my female friends/acquaintances that were my age all of a sudden realised my ex had a great guy (and would tell me as much). And I know one or two of them couldn't believe they had let me slip through when they had the chance.

 

I take comfort in that now that I'm single again. Just cos my first true love didn't work out, it doesn't mean I'll stop being a nice guy.

[Echo000]

be a class act, radiate confidence and self-worth. All you need.

Edited February 14, 2013 by Echo000

[Asda]

You are right. This world is unfair, never trust your heart to nobody, that the only way to stay unharmed. I learned my painful lesson. Looks like man and women two different worlds that have to stay away from each other.

[eduardo23]

The op's definition of "good guy" sounds like a doormat to me. The typical guy who gives way too much and receives nearly zilch.

[na49]

Probably because most good guys are doormats. I'm trying to find the mid ground where I can still be my loving and caring self but not be my girlfriend's b*tch and get walked all over.

[destroyed4sho]

Probably because most good guys are doormats. I'm trying to find the mid ground where I can still be my loving and caring self but not be my girlfriend's b*tch and get walked all over.

 

Good guys do not have to be doormats. The reason they become doormats is because they chase the "bad girl" that wants to be with a "bad boy" The good guy, chases after her because she is hot and attracted to her. The bad girl does not see a relationship happening because he is not her "type...even if he is goodlooking, good personality, etc...so what does she do? She makes use out of him! Turns him into a friend because he is chasing her and she knows he would put up with it, going shopping, talking on the phone, flirting with him to make the guy she really likes jealous, etc.

The good guy, doesn't get why she is going out with douchebags that she very well knows will not treat her as well as he would.

 

The good guy has to leave this relationship and look for a "good girl". Some good guys do not want to do this because they for some reason do not find good girls as attractive as the bad girls. This is where they lose out and end up feeling like the good guy never wins.

[OJ loved Nicole]

Good guys do not have to be doormats. The reason they become doormats is because they chase the "bad girl" that wants to be with a "bad boy"

 

Good guys ARE doormats, but not being a doormat doesn't make you a bad boy. Bad boys are unhealthy by nature, have unhealthy relationships, cheat, flirt, etc. Good guys are just as unhealthy! As bad boys have developed the concept "I don't care for anyone else's feelings", good guys have developed "I ONLY care about other peoples feelings". They will hide how they feel, not stand up for their personal boundaries, not express their wants/desires to avoid upsetting/hurting people. Both just as unhealthy in different ways.

 

The middle ground is a healthy man, this is what to strive for, this is the alpha. The healthy male doesn't mistreat people, but if he's ever mistreated he doesn't bend over and take it. Mistreating and "taking it" are the extremes.

 

This is the reason both good guys and bad boys fail at relationships. The reason why good guys can't keep women attracted and why bad boys go years jumping from relationship to relationship.