blue_jay_bird Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 I want to break NC. I have so many questions. I'm not going to beg to get back, ext other things. I will say. You did the right thing, your acting on how you feel. I didn't know you where unhappy, and you should do what makes you happy. You have to do what you feel is right, and i feel like you are doing the right thing. Don't worry about feeling guilty. You will find someone, that you love enough you won't want to let go off. And ill find someone that won't want to let go of me. We both deserve someone that is equally in love. ... I know this sounds a little confusing. But i feel like i need to talk to him. Any help on what to say and what else to say?
stemac Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Blue jay you ever thought about Writing a letter not a text, texts are cold and meaningless your heart need to talk, let it speak with pen to paper let it all come out on paper, send it don't ask for a reply just say my heart needed to say these things, at the end tell them you love them and say goodbye this isn't to get them back or make them contact you its a goodbye your heart needs to say, i did this and i am glad i did :-) stay strong
Author blue_jay_bird Posted September 7, 2012 Author Posted September 7, 2012 I feel like a goodbye letter is not my thing. Id like to say good bye in person.
gullibleme Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 It's so heart wrenching to have a break up when the heart has so many unspoken words...I was there and sent a letter to. I felt better for it...for a while
geegirl Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 I feel like a goodbye letter is not my thing. Id like to say good bye in person. There's a million things you want to say after a breakup but it doesn't matter because it won't change the situation. You can ask him 20 questions, two days later you'll have more unanswered questions. It's normal to feel all this pent up frustration and need for closure. The thing is you should never act on it. It won't lessen the pain, it won't give you closure and it won't change the situation. The only need to say goodbye is to have one last go at possibly salvaging because you are hoping that a face to face will recharge his emotions. A break-up is your goodbye. Accept that, embrace the pain and try to let it go.
steveblack Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Ill be honest the goodbye letter actually helped me get over her. It put a stamp on it, and helped me move on. If you are searching for answers, you wont get them. Forgive, forget and let go! You are acting out of attachment, not out of compassion. Let him go. Stop making him the priority in your life. JUST LET IT BE!
Author blue_jay_bird Posted September 7, 2012 Author Posted September 7, 2012 Is this really true has no one found peace, in talking to your ex. I did once with this boy i loved, but that was three years after I dumped him. Just three words made me feel at peace. "You didn't do anything wrong." Just made me feel like he still cared and so did I.
steveblack Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Well I just broke NC yesterday. See: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/345475-complicated-issue-after-breakup-terminally-ill-sister Peace is found within. YOU are searching for peace and he is the one holding the key! Why would you want that? Seems like nonsense to me. Be stronger, what is wrong with you! There is soooo much worse things in life than this. You got to pick yourself up and move the **** on. There are other good people out there. Read the first pinned post.
geegirl Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Is this really true has no one found peace, in talking to your ex. I did once with this boy i loved, but that was three years after I dumped him. Just three words made me feel at peace. "You didn't do anything wrong." Just made me feel like he still cared and so did I. Stop projecting other situations on the one you are facing now. Your "boy" was kind enough to relieve you of dumpers guilt most likely because 3 years had passed and he was emotionally detached. I'm sure if you approached him after the breakup, it would have been a completely different reaction and response. Your breakup just happened. Your ex can't give you peace. He is your source of pain.
LostGirl11 Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Trust me, it will go something like this: 'Ok, one text wont hurt' *A few hours/days later* 'Hmm, I wish I ask this and that' *So you text again asking more questions*.... 'Argh!, I wish I didn't put it like that, he might take it the wrong way' *And so you text again* You will end up being that pain in the arse ex, and you will feel it too. I've been there. 1
Sunberry Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 I know I might not be in the best position to give anyone advice.. But,I just thought I shed some light on something.. When my ex broke up w/me I did NC for at least a week and a few days. Many people told me not to call and I did anyway because I felt I had unanswered questions. Well I called, we met up, and we talked. I asked some questions and he ended up giving me the same responses the day he broke up w/me which made me, actually feel a bit worse..After that, I tried NC again..and felt I had more question..so I contacted again..and again..and thus the constant texting and begging began. If I had the choice I would go back in time and stop myself from ever contacting him in the first place..but again I can't change the past. I don't regret it because at the time, it was the greatest thing to do. I'm not telling you to do it, nor am I not telling you to do it. But people usually ask to justify what they have already chosen the answer to. If you're going to do it, be prepared for what might or may happen..
youngnlove89 Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 "I will say. You did the right thing, your acting on how you feel. I didn't know you where unhappy, and you should do what makes you happy. You have to do what you feel is right, and i feel like you are doing the right thing. Don't worry about feeling guilty. You will find someone, that you love enough you won't want to let go off. And ill find someone that won't want to let go of me. We both deserve someone that is equally in love. ..." "You did the right thing" He knows he did the right thing. He already thought about it before he did. Everday he choses to not be with you is confirmation that he did the right thing. "I didn't know you where unhappy" I'm sure he wasn't "unhappy", you just weren't "it" for him. "You should do what makes you happy" He already did, sweetie. He left you. "You have to do what you feel is right, and i feel like you are doing the right thing" He did what he felt was right, he broke up with you. Why are you repeating this? You feel like he is doing the right thing? You just contradicted yourself, you know you don't think it is right. Or why else would you be writing this silly letter? "You will find someone, that you love enough you won't want to let go off." As if he needs reassurance!? "And ill find someone that won't want to let go of me." Keep saying that, keep repeating that, and hopefully you will believe it. He let go of you. Why do you want him? He gave up on YOU "We both deserve someone that is equally in love" That is why the relationship didn't work. You want love right? Well honey, he ain't got it for you! DON'T SEND THE DANG LETTER. Save the embarrassment! 1
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