My Story

[Clothed-in-strengh]

Thanks for your response P.S. I had all these views and no responses.

 

I went to see my therapist today and I'm feeling so much better. I really wanted to work on the marriage but my husband hasn't...will not even entertain MC.

 

He throws crumbs at me when he see's I'm moving on and I fall for it each and every time. They just love to see us suffer. A$$ho*&'s!!!

 

No more! I'm finally letting go and moving on. His loss. I've given him way too many chances and he blew them. I've been in limbo and on this roller coaster ride for way too long. I will not be his plan B and I only wish him the best. I need to say good bye to the memories and the person I once knew.

 

I can't do anything if he doesn't want to put effort into our marriage.

[TaraMaiden]

My daughter told me something this morning which resonated:

 

"You deserve what you tolerate."

 

Think on that every time he throws breadcrumbs at your feet.

[paradigm shift]

It's hard not to fall for the bread crumbs when you want them so badly. But Tara is right...no tolerating, it's not enough.

 

I have bad days too, and in my case, no OW, so I really have to work every day on reminding myself that a marriage takes TWO people and while I carry my burden of blame, I am not responsible for it all.

 

You don't need someone who sees you as a Plan B, you need someone whose plans begin and end with A-you.

 

I know it hurts and I know it's hard to let go of the part of you that is who you are as a family, as a wife, as a unit. I also think it is a loss that should be grieved in whatever way you need. I also know that even if he decided to come back and you accepted all his conditions, you still would have lost what you had before.

 

So strip away the feelings of "what am I going to do now" and "this is all I know" and wait to see if love is left. Then you can go from there

 

PS