drakewrites Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 I developed a huge crush on this girl that I worked with about a year ago. I was nervous just talking to her. She was totally my type, down to a T. Eventually after a few months I worked up the nerve to do so, though, and we became acquaintances. We hung out a few times. I tried getting her to go on a date with me a few times, but she was always busy or with a different boyfriend. We became friends about 4 weeks ago, good friends. We hung out all night just chatting, next few nights were about the same. After a week of being very close, all of a sudden, she confronted me that she liked me. I was very happy. She already knew that I had a massive crush on her, we would joke about it sometimes. I knew she was still in love with her ex, however, but I said we could take it as slow or as fast as she wanted. Things went real fast. After a few days of 'seeing each other', (I kept wanting to make it 'official'...) we made it official, and had sex afterwards. The next two weeks we were having sex a lot, spending the night at each other's houses, telling each other our deepest darkest secrets, spending a LOT of time with each other. I honestly think I was falling for her, pretty fast. I had a crush on this girl for MONTHS, and now all of a sudden she was mine, we were having sex, she was my girlfriend... she also lives just a few houses down from me, so every time she asked me to hang out I'd come over. I couldn't tell her no. I made sure to hang out with her every chance she asked me to... probably out of fear that if I said no, she'd find someone else or forget about me or something. I'd worry about who she was hanging out with sometimes, because she has a ton of guy friends. If she was going to hang out with friends, I always tried to be there with her. I did notice however, that she was far better suited at being apart than I was. I would text her too much, or try not to, I'd worry too much, I just didn't feel like things were okay if we were apart. I constantly felt the need to be around her, and to know we were 100% okay. Things were going really good, probably too good. I met a lot of her friends (mostly guys), and we got close. Then she took a trip out of town to visit some family, and boom, things just exploded. She had her phone shut off because she couldn't afford it that week, so all of a sudden she was out of town and hard to reach. We mostly communicated through FaceBook. We ended up breaking up. I posted about it here, as that is a thread in itself. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/344768-did-i-over-react#post4236036 Now I'm hurting, a lot. I've dreamed about her a few times this week, and every time I see spots where we hung out, or songs that we listened to, or video games that we played, etc, that remind me of her, I just feel a pang of sadness. I was so happy for 2 weeks, and now it's just gone. I want to become a better person. I want to know where I went wrong, and how I can safe-guard against feeling like this in the future... or at least after two weeks. I mean, I shouldn't be feeling THIS much grief and dreaming about a girl if we were only together for two weeks. Did we go to fast? I'm assuming yes, but then, if so, how should I have handled a new girlfriend? Should I have had more space here and there? How long should one wait before having sex? And how do I tell a girlfriend I don't like a certain behavior she allows? (For more info, click on the thread that talks about why we broke up...) And how do I not get attached so quickly? If a girl asks for space because we are fighting, should I give it to her, even if I want to figure out a solution? What was this behavior that came over me, this constant needing to see her, needing to know we were okay, etc? And should I avoid getting with someone if they are not over their ex, period? I am hurting far more (I believe) than she is at the moment, and that somehow makes it hurt more. Thanks so much for any help.
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