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Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

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KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

Posted
Posted

PS..I've never met a short guy in real life who actually wanted to date a woman who was taller than him. As far as I've seen, it makes them feel emasculated, just like it makes me (and most tall women) feel less feminine to date a guy who only comes up to my boobs.

  • Like 1
Anela Established Member

Anela

Posted
Posted
I've given my opinion on fat women and short guys a thousand times.

 

Go look through my previous posts to find the answer I would give in this situation.

 

You're shallow with your preferences, too.

KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

Posted
Posted
Wow, comparing short guys to people who are severely disfigured.

 

You must really hate us.

 

So basically..you're allowed to view your height as a bad thing but I'm not.

 

It's something that disfigured women cannot control..it hinders them when it comes to dating..it's a physical hindrance..these are all the reasons you give when you say you can't get a date. Why can't I agree with you?

 

If you're going to call someone shallow for not being attracted to someone for a physical reason then you have to accept that you might carry some prejudices of your own.

  • Like 1
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
So basically..you're allowed to view your height as a bad thing but I'm not.

 

Is your height really a bad thing?

 

When was your most recent boyfriend? About how many dates do you go on in a month?

 

It's something that disfigured women cannot control..it hinders them when it comes to dating..it's a physical hindrance..these are all the reasons you give when you say you can't get a date. Why can't I agree with you?

 

It's asinine that you are comparing short guys to people with third degree burns.

 

I am not disfigured. I haven't been in some horrible accident or have a serious disease.

 

I'm just a normal looking guy whose legs and torso are a couple of inches shorter than average.

 

I really hope most women are more open minded than you are.

  • Like 2
KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

Posted
Posted (edited)
Is your height really a bad thing?

 

When was your most recent boyfriend? About how many dates do you go on in a month?

 

 

 

It's asinine that you are comparing short guys to people with third degree burns.

 

I am not disfigured. I haven't been in some horrible accident or have a serious disease.

 

I'm just a normal looking guy whose legs and torso are a couple of inches shorter than average.

 

I really hope most women are more open minded than you are.

 

I have a boyfriend. That doesn't mean it's been easier for me to date than you..going on a lot of dates doesn't mean I connect with a lot of men. I'm human just like everyone else. Dating sucks for everyone, short, tall, fat, thin, hot, and ugly. Sure, I could get a boyfriend I hate pretty easily. But that's not what I'm looking for..and I hope that's not what you're looking for either. Do you really want a girlfriend just for the sake of having one, or are you looking to truly connect with someone?

 

Actually, I don't enjoy towering over men, it makes me feel very self conscious. I have very long legs but a short torso, so when I gain weight it goes directly to my stomach, which makes me feel awful, and it makes it much harder for me to lose weight. I have a hard time finding pants that don't make me look like an idiot..ditto with shirts (my arms are long too).

 

Yes, these are first world problems..but that doesn't make them any less valid. The grass is always greener on the other side. Tall people have problems too.

 

I am perfectly open minded. That doesn't mean I have to date someone I'm not attracted to. I've never been physically attracted to a man who is shorter than me. How is that my fault? Please tell me how to force myself to be attracted to short men..I'd really like to know.

 

In comparing short guys to burn victims, I was merely pointing out that your argument in the past has been that it's a physical issue that you're unable to control. Being burned is a physical issue that burn victims are unable to control. So therefore, by YOUR OWN logic, if you reject them simply because they are burn victims, you are also shallow.

 

You cannot help who you're attracted to any more than I can.

 

I'm right, and deep down you know that.

Edited by KaliLove
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted

Wait, so why do you say you're height is a bad thing when you have a boyfriend now? Why even mention it being easy to get a boyfriend that you hate? Do you hate your current one?

 

I bet you go on a hell of a lot more dates than I do. A hell of a lot more dates than most men do. So yes, more dates = having an easier time finding somebody to be in a relationship with. That's common sense. It's the same thing with looking for a job. The more interviews you have, the better your odds at getting a good job.

 

OK, you don't like being tall. But from what I can tell, it does not affecting your dating life at all. Have you ever actually struggled to get a man? If the answer is no, then you being tall is irrelevant. The only thing being tall does to a woman is make her even less attracted to short men. In other words, you being tall is only a negative for short men who would otherwise be interested in you, but they don't measure up...

 

Burn victims and people with missing limbs are extreme examples. The most reasonable example I can think of is, that for every inch a guy is below average height is equivalent to a woman being 10 pounds overweight.

  • Like 1
KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

Posted
Posted
Wait, so why do you say you're height is a bad thing when you have a boyfriend now? Why even mention it being easy to get a boyfriend that you hate? Do you hate your current one?

 

I bet you go on a hell of a lot more dates than I do. A hell of a lot more dates than most men do. So yes, more dates = having an easier time finding somebody to be in a relationship with. That's common sense. It's the same thing with looking for a job. The more interviews you have, the better your odds at getting a good job.

 

OK, you don't like being tall. But from what I can tell, it does not affecting your dating life at all. Have you ever actually struggled to get a man? If the answer is no, then you being tall is irrelevant. The only thing being tall does to a woman is make her even less attracted to short men. In other words, you being tall is only a negative for short men who would otherwise be interested in you, but they don't measure up...

 

Burn victims and people with missing limbs are extreme examples. The most reasonable example I can think of is, that for every inch a guy is below average height is equivalent to a woman being 10 pounds overweight.

 

Would you date a woman you weren't physically attracted to?

MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

Posted
Posted

Burn victims and people with missing limbs are extreme examples. The most reasonable example I can think of is, that for every inch a guy is below average height is equivalent to a woman being 10 pounds overweight.

 

 

So there's a formula for determining how much extra weight you'll tolerate on a woman?

  • Like 5
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
Would you date a woman you weren't physically attracted to?

 

Nice dodge.

 

So there's a formula for determining how much extra weight you'll tolerate on a woman?

 

That formula has no bearing on what I'm attracted to.

 

My limit is that a woman can't weigh more than I do. I'm 153 lbs right now. If a woman weight is 153, she's either very tall, or overweight. Neither of which are appealing to me.

  • Like 1
KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

Posted
Posted
Nice dodge.

 

 

 

That formula has no bearing on what I'm attracted to.

 

My limit is that a woman can't weigh more than I do. I'm 153 lbs right now. If a woman weight is 153, she's either very tall, or overweight. Neither of which are appealing to me.

 

You too.

 

So wait...you're allowed to not be attracted to very tall women..but tall women aren't allowed to not be attracted to you? WOW are you a hypocrite!

  • Like 7
KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

Posted
Posted
Wait, so why do you say you're height is a bad thing when you have a boyfriend now? Why even mention it being easy to get a boyfriend that you hate? Do you hate your current one?

 

I bet you go on a hell of a lot more dates than I do. A hell of a lot more dates than most men do. So yes, more dates = having an easier time finding somebody to be in a relationship with. That's common sense. It's the same thing with looking for a job. The more interviews you have, the better your odds at getting a good job.

 

OK, you don't like being tall. But from what I can tell, it does not affecting your dating life at all. Have you ever actually struggled to get a man? If the answer is no, then you being tall is irrelevant. The only thing being tall does to a woman is make her even less attracted to short men. In other words, you being tall is only a negative for short men who would otherwise be interested in you, but they don't measure up...

 

Burn victims and people with missing limbs are extreme examples. The most reasonable example I can think of is, that for every inch a guy is below average height is equivalent to a woman being 10 pounds overweight.

 

I like my current boyfriend. But again, that doesn't mean that it's been easy for me to date.

 

Of course I've struggled to get a man. Who hasn't? I've been rejected plenty of times. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me..it just means that guy wasn't the guy for me.

jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted
Not a dodge.

 

A Chrysler? lol

  • Like 2
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
PS..I've never met a short guy in real life who actually wanted to date a woman who was taller than him. As far as I've seen, it makes them feel emasculated, just like it makes me (and most tall women) feel less feminine to date a guy who only comes up to my boobs.

 

I know these are your opinons, and I respect them, but think about this...

 

As a 5'6' , 215# rock of a guy, do you really think ANY sized woman is going to make me feel emasculated.? I mean, I would not feel the least bit "inferior" standing next to someone as imposing as Serena Williams, so I wouldn't even bat an eye at a typical 5'9" 140 lb woman...They are still "small" to me and I will always be more physically imposing, even though they have more height...And all through the years, having been with several women taller than me, it was never an issue..for either of us.,

 

I may be a physical "outlier" but there are also shorter guys that just have "it" ,,You know, they are what the term "its not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog" types....My cousin is this way..Good looking dude, but only 5'5" and maybe 160..He has always been with hot women and his wife is a stunning 5'9" brunette...I have never sensed this "emasculation" you speak of and if his wife is feeling this "loss of femininity" , its certainly not showing on the outside..:laugh:

 

Ive stated before...Taller women and taller guys do make sense,..I think the main issue for the short guys who are complaining here are the 5'0-5'4" inchers(which make up the bulk of the female population) demanding to be with sky high beanpoles..While I know that attraction someties goes against logic, I can somewhat see their point,as it makes little "sense", really-when you think about it.....

 

TFY

  • Like 3
Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

Posted
Posted (edited)

I just saw on FB that my 20-year-old male cousin is "in a relationship". Cute girl. I am not that surprised though as he always had cute girls around him at least since college.

 

He's whip-smart and passionate about his studies. Good guy too.Thing is, he is only 5'4". And no not especially built or anything. Whats even "worse" is that his dad is 5'10".

 

And yet he isn't bothered by this, and he gets girls. Could be because he has better things to do than to spend time whining and arguing with women about his "plight as a Short Man".

Edited by Imajerk17
  • Like 2
KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

Posted
Posted (edited)
I know these are your opinons, and I respect them, but think about this...

 

As a 5'6' , 215# rock of a guy, do you really think ANY sized woman is going to make me feel emasculated.? I mean, I would not feel the least bit "inferior" standing next to someone as imposing as Serena Williams, so I wouldn't even bat an eye at a typical 5'9" 140 lb woman...They are still "small" to me and I will always be more physically imposing, even though they have more height...And all through the years, having been with several women taller than me, it was never an issue..for either of us.,

 

I may be a physical "outlier" but there are also shorter guys that just have "it" ,,You know, they are what the term "its not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog" types....My cousin is this way..Good looking dude, but only 5'5" and maybe 160..He has always been with hot women and his wife is a stunning 5'9" brunette...I have never sensed this "emasculation" you speak of and if his wife is feeling this "loss of femininity" , its certainly not showing on the outside..:laugh:

 

Ive stated before...Taller women and taller guys do make sense,..I think the main issue for the short guys who are complaining here are the 5'0-5'4" inchers(which make up the bulk of the female population) demanding to be with sky high beanpoles..While I know that attraction someties goes against logic, I can somewhat see their point,as it makes little "sense", really-when you think about it.....

 

TFY

 

Of course there are short guys that have 'it'. Look at 95% of Hollywood. :)

 

I do think you and your cousin are outliers in the real world though. Most shorter dudes I know don't want to be with a woman who's taller than them, and most taller women don't want to be with guys who are shorter than them.

 

And for me, as a tall woman who grew and developed very early and spent several of my formative years as an uncomfortable kid who was taller than most of the boys in my class in school, I want to be with a guy who's taller than me.

 

Most of the women I know do want to be with a man who's taller than her..but I am the odd duck as far as height goes. I'm 5'9..that's well above the average height of the American woman. Taller than me is 5'10, but taller than my friend Michelle is 5'0. Her husband is 5'5 and he towers over her. The average height of American women is 5'5.

 

I'm not saying that short guys shouldn't go for women who are taller..of course nothing is ever 100%. But attraction isn't usually negotiable, so the guys who are on here whining about how being short is their only problem aren't doing themselves any good.

Edited by KaliLove
johan Established Member

johan

Posted
Posted
...so the guys who are on here whining about how being short is their only problem aren't doing themselves any good.

 

Observing some of the complaining makes it clear being short is not their only problem. It isn't even their worst problem in many cases. In reality it barely qualifies as a problem at all, except some of them make it a problem.

 

You could get hung up on anything you don't like about yourself.

 

If you have a tendency to be really hard on yourself and unforgiving of your perceived flaws, that is a much bigger problem than being short. It will make you moody and prone to depression, insecure in relationships. And if at some point your height stops being an issue for you, something else will take its place.

 

When your relationships fail, will you even understand the real reason why? Anyone who knows you well will know better when you say it was because of your height.

  • Like 3
TouchedByViolet Established Member

TouchedByViolet

Posted
Posted
Observing some of the complaining makes it clear being short is not their only problem. It isn't even their worst problem in many cases. In reality it barely qualifies as a problem at all, except some of them make it a problem.

 

You could get hung up on anything you don't like about yourself.

 

If you have a tendency to be really hard on yourself and unforgiving of your perceived flaws, that is a much bigger problem than being short. It will make you moody and prone to depression, insecure in relationships. And if at some point your height stops being an issue for you, something else will take its place.

 

When your relationships fail, will you even understand the real reason why? Anyone who knows you well will know better when you say it was because of your height.

 

Everyone has problems and issues. The difference with the struggling guys is they rarely get attention from women, all the other points are in the peripheral. Unless you have naturally attractive features or are bulky many women pass you by based on height and size. I see this all the time in my short guy friends. I have heard women say what they really think after rejecting a guy they find short or small.

 

In my experience most struggling short guys aren't complaining just because... they have years of rejection and loneliness fueling there emotions. Many shorter guys I know would love to be in a relationship and know their height is making it more difficult.

  • Like 1
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted

 

The average height of American women is 5'5.

 

Most of the women I know do want to be with a man who's taller than her..

 

But attraction isn't usually negotiable, so the guys who are on here whining about how being short is their only problem aren't doing themselves any good.

 

 

As a guy who is barely 5'6, can you tell why dating is hard for me?

 

A major part of the reason why is already in your post.

AnnieRose Member

AnnieRose

Posted
Posted

I am a woman who's 5'10 and my boyfriend is 5'6! And I love him! We have been together close to 7 months and he is definitely the most masculine man I've ever met!

 

Maybe our height difference is quite large especially when I wear my heels but there is no one I'd rather be with! I have been with all sorts of men, tall and short and honestly it doesn't matter and never has. The same for my girlfriends and most girls I know. Most of us would and have dated men who were our height or shorter!

 

If someone is going to base your entire worth on how tall you are then they are not worth dating! Just as guys who would base a girl's entire worth on her boob size or something, same thing!

 

Cheer up short guys, most of us don't care about your height.

 

Hope I helped.

 

:)

  • Like 3
KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

Posted
Posted (edited)
As a guy who is barely 5'6, can you tell why dating is hard for me?

 

A major part of the reason why is already in your post.

 

I know there are at least 10 other people in this thread who'd love to jump in here..I'll give them dibs.

 

You never answered me..would you date a woman you're not physically attracted to?

 

You also never answered me on why it's ok for you to rule out very tall women but it's not ok for tall women to rule you out.

Edited by KaliLove
  • Like 1
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
I know there are at least 10 other people in this thread who'd love to jump in here..I'll give them dibs.

 

 

I'll repeat what you said again.

 

The average height of American women is 5'5.

 

Most of the women I know do want to be with a man who's taller than her..

 

 

You're basically saying that most women don't want a man who is 5'5 or shorter.

 

You never answered me..would you date a woman you're not physically attracted to?

 

Of course not.

 

But basing your attraction to a guy on his height is ridiculous. OK, I get it your tall and don't want a guy who is shorter than you. When things get stupid is when a girl is 5'4 and only wants guys who are 5'8+.

 

You also never answered me on why it's ok for you to rule out very tall women but it's not ok for tall women to rule you out.

 

My upper limit is 5'8. Past that point a woman just towers over me. If I was taller, I'd have no issue at all with dating a tall woman. Once again, I have no problem with tall women and I am attracted to them. But I feel there is no point in trying to pursue them.

 

Tell me KaliLove, if you were 5'3, do you think you'd be able to date guys who were shorter than 5'8?

Weezy1973 Established Member

Weezy1973

Posted
Posted

 

But basing your attraction to a guy on his height is ridiculous.

 

Why?

 

Genuine question...

  • Like 1
KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

Posted
Posted
I'll repeat what you said again.

 

 

 

You're basically saying that most women don't want a man who is 5'5 or shorter.

 

Of course not.

 

But basing your attraction to a guy on his height is ridiculous. OK, I get it your tall and don't want a guy who is shorter than you. When things get stupid is when a girl is 5'4 and only wants guys who are 5'8+.

 

 

 

My upper limit is 5'8. Past that point a woman just towers over me. If I was taller, I'd have no issue at all with dating a tall woman. Once again, I have no problem with tall women and I am attracted to them. But I feel there is no point in trying to pursue them.

 

Tell me KaliLove, if you were 5'3, do you think you'd be able to date guys who were shorter than 5'8?

 

The AVERAGE height is 5'5. That's not 'most'. There are plenty of tall women who are balancing out the women who are shorter than 5'5. I'm 5'9. There's a woman out there who's 4'11 who balances me out.

 

So once again you're being a complete and total hypocrite. You won't date anyone you're not attracted to but tall women are bad people if we're not attracted to short guys. :roll eyes: You're a heightist.

 

You just completely contradicted yourself. You said that basing my attraction to a guy (attraction is involuntary by the way, so it's not something that I'm 'doing') is ridiculous..but then two sentences later you said that you wouldn't date a woman over 5'8.

 

If I was 5'3, I'd want to date a guy who was shorter than 5'8. Otherwise I'd look like his daughter..I find super tall guys with super short girls creepy.

 

But I'm not. I'm 5'9 and my boyfriend is 6'4 and that's just the way it is.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
Why?

 

Genuine question...

 

Simply put, short guys don't look any different than average height guys.

 

Nobody could look at a picture of me by myself and guess that I'm 5'6.

 

So to me, rejecting a guy based on his height is as stupid as rejecting a girl based on her bra size.

  • Like 1
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