Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[ascendotum]

And? Is that a problem?

 

For a guy that has not been loved up in relationships for all that much of his life, I suspect its not a problem as such, but not his preference. I'd dare say he wants to catch up on more of the sexy fun yrs he's missed out on. As much as women here want him to date women in their mid 30s, I really don't think they're going to cut him as much slack as the younger 'happy go lucky, just want to have fun and a sweet bf' women, like hie ex. Anyway he has to do what he thinks is in his best interests.

 

* sorry W. off topic.

[CrystalCastles]

I'm only going to reply to this sentence since I think the rest of my responses are off-topic, however feel free to PM me if you wish.

 

OK, so you've got a taste of the feeling. So do you believe that if you had continued to be involuntarily single, would you still be able to control your happiness?

 

Yes. I had an epiphany in April of this year, after I found out in March that the guy who was pursuing me was already taken. I realized only I can control my happiness and at the end of the day, I'm living life and going through it alone. Nobody can make me happy- someone can come along and add to it, but I have to already be happy. Its a burden to put the responsibility of your happiness entirely onto someone else.

 

There's nothing you can do about the preferences of these women. Why are you letting that bother you? Can you change their minds? You can try but it won't get you anywhere.

 

The reason why I, and other posters, are telling you to not place so much importance in dating, is because dating is a lot of luck and timing, and its not something you have a lot of control over.

[organizedchaos]

For a guy that has not been loved up in relationships for all that much of his life, I suspect its not a problem as such, but not his preference. I'd dare say he wants to catch up on more of the sexy fun yrs he's missed out on. As much as women here want him to date women in their mid 30s, I really don't think they're going to cut him as much slack as the younger 'happy go lucky, just want to have fun and a sweet bf' women, like hie ex. Anyway he has to do what he thinks is in his best interests.

 

* sorry W. off topic.

 

Ok. So how is this different than women who don't date him because they have a preference for taller men? I'm having a hard time not seeing the contradiction here.

[ascendotum]

Ok. So how is this different than women who don't date him because they have a preference for taller men? I'm having a hard time not seeing the contradiction here.

 

At his age it does seem like he is asking for more than he is. In the big picture though, he is wanting to enjoy a 23 or 24 or 25 or 26 yr old gf at some point in his life. Hardly a big ask for the vast majority of people who enjoy having a bf/gf of that age. In fact many here have probably enjoyed having a gf/bf for every year from the age of 16-21-28-33-38 on so on. He is not asking for anything above his station...in terms of his overall life. Yes it is somewhat given his age and wanting a young gf now, but it is not as unreasonable & greedy as a guy who expects to date 21-23yr olds at 21 and also at 25 and also at 29 and also at 33 and also at 37, etc. I'm sure some women wont agree with this but I think he is just catching up on what he missed out on, and it not the same as a 5'2 women only having eyes for 6'+ dudes for most of her sexy yrs.

 

There is nothing like this height bias (which is across the board but I would say more strongly represented with smaller/short women), for women to deal with except for I would say weight being the equivalent. We all know how touchy a subject that is for women. Lots of overweight guys hold out & hope for slim women, which I think is not right too. A knew quite a few like that and most ended up with thicker build women. It doesn't mean its all a great love story ending for both just because hey 'over weight guy has a gf and overweight woman has a bf...see there is no problem being overweight when it comes to dating'.

 

At the individual level you really really can't tell a person not to want what they like. At the aggregate level though, biases do skew the market. If you not getting chopped out of a big % of the market (rejected by many with the exact same attribute), then this whole issue is no big deal. I'm alright jack, but no one wants to be the equivalent of the Wii in the current console market.

Edited August 25, 2014 by ascendotum

[Els]

Really, none of that was credible? Women not needing men, not being affected by thing like height, small body structure or small penises, times changing due to the internet and mainstream media. Okay then never mind.

 

Uh, I think the poster you quoted was saying that some men have 'superficial' preferences of their own, too. And that just as how they don't represent all men, the women with rigid height preferences don't represent all women.

 

You went off at a total tangent and completely missed her point...

[irc333]

Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about. Basically what I was saying is that women are just as bombarded by superficial things as men are. I think a person just needs to be who they are and stop worrying about the things they have no control over. It's a complete waste of time and energy.

 

I have to add, that EVERY time I had been able to land a date with a woman, which is usually few and far between...the admittedly told me they care more about personality and VERY little about looks.

 

Those are rare finds indeed, esp. when they are cute themselves.

 

I think its typically they stereotype good looking men into being "players that sleep around", and are actually turned off by the sight of them.

[Els]

I have to add, that EVERY time I had been able to land a date with a woman, which is usually few and far between...the admittedly told me they care more about personality and VERY little about looks.

 

Those are rare finds indeed, esp. when they are cute themselves.

 

I think its typically they stereotype good looking men into being "players that sleep around", and are actually turned off by the sight of them.

 

If a woman is turning someone down solely on the basis of them being 'too good-looking', she can't exactly say that she cares very little about looks, can she...? Not caring means it works both ways.

 

The sort of woman you mentioned in the bolded just sounds insecure. Women who genuinely don't care about looks don't make assumptions about a man's personality based on his looks.

[thefooloftheyear]

I have to add, that EVERY time I had been able to land a date with a woman, which is usually few and far between...the admittedly told me they care more about personality and VERY little about looks.

 

Those are rare finds indeed, esp. when they are cute themselves.

 

I think its typically they stereotype good looking men into being "players that sleep around", and are actually turned off by the sight of them.

 

 

They lied to you...

 

TFY

[jay1983]

Uh, I think the poster you quoted was saying that some men have 'superficial' preferences of their own, too. And that just as how they don't represent all men, the women with rigid height preferences don't represent all women.

 

You went off at a total tangent and completely missed her point...

 

No I didn't miss the point. She said if we're not all tall dark handsome but but our parents were able to reproduce. I was explaining some reasons why thing might be different today.

[MidwestUSA]

I think it's because it seems unreasonable for a 5'3" girl to discriminate against 5'6" guy. I don't know many guys who can be picky enough to reject a girl because of her bearst size. It's very unreasonable and counter productive. I keep trying to tell these guys that being taller might not solve their problem, as I'm 5'11" and still having dating problems.

 

 

Well it's obvious your problem is that one inch - the difference between you and six feet! Perhaps you should get an inversion table and see if you can eek out that extra inch by stretching your spine. . I'm using one just to keep from losing any more height.

 

But seriously, does the fact that you have a child factor into your problems at all? You're going to need a mature, accepting woman. My husband fathered a child at 26. It took him meeting a divorcee with a ten year old (when his was five) to make it work.

 

You seem to have a respectful attitude towards women, and don't give off any creeper vibes. Your day will come!

[jay1983]

Well it's obvious your problem is that one inch - the difference between you and six feet! Perhaps you should get an inversion table and see if you can eek out that extra inch by stretching your spine. . I'm using one just to keep from losing any more height.

Damn that inch! Hey does it feel good when they stretch you back?

 

 

But seriously, does the fact that you have a child factor into your problems at all? You're going to need a mature, accepting woman. My husband fathered a child at 26. It took him meeting a divorcee with a ten year old (when his was five) to make it work.

I thing is that I'm getting written off before I can even open my mouth. Much less tell them I have a boy who stays with me on weekends. Edited August 25, 2014 by jay1983

[somedude81]

For a guy that has not been loved up in relationships for all that much of his life, I suspect its not a problem as such, but not his preference. I'd dare say he wants to catch up on more of the sexy fun yrs he's missed out on. As much as women here want him to date women in their mid 30s, I really don't think they're going to cut him as much slack as the younger 'happy go lucky, just want to have fun and a sweet bf' women, like hie ex. Anyway he has to do what he thinks is in his best interests.

 

* sorry W. off topic.

 

That's it exactly.

 

I'm probably going to make a post in the age thread that William bumped.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/288549-consolidated-discussion-older-younger-woman-man-age-gap-dating-89.html

Edited August 25, 2014 by somedude81

[clia]

I used to work with a guy who was around 5'4". He was the nicest guy on the planet, but a little nerdy. Kind of quiet and shy. Average looking. Extremely smart.

 

I heard through the grapevine that he was getting married. Went to his wedding website and...he is marrying a tall, gorgeous blonde gal. She looks to be about 5'8" or 5'9" in the photos of them together. Quite a bit taller than him.

 

Just thought I'd share.

[irc333]

If I was 5'11", I'd lie about being 6 feet tall.

 

Well it's obvious your problem is that one inch - the difference between you and six feet! Perhaps you should get an inversion table and see if you can eek out that extra inch by stretching your spine. . I'm using one just to keep from losing any more height.

 

But seriously, does the fact that you have a child factor into your problems at all? You're going to need a mature, accepting woman. My husband fathered a child at 26. It took him meeting a divorcee with a ten year old (when his was five) to make it work.

 

You seem to have a respectful attitude towards women, and don't give off any creeper vibes. Your day will come!

[MidwestUSA]

Damn that inch! Hey does it feel good when they stretch you back?

 

I thing is that I'm getting written off before I can even open my mouth. Much less tell them I have a boy who stays with me on weekends.

 

 

Actually, yes, it does feel good. I have to put a rolled blanket under my lumbar spine. I have fallen asleep upside down, and if I'm home alone, I keep the phone at my head on the floor! (Just in case)

 

 

So you're getting written off - is this IRL or on OLD?

[jay1983]

So you're getting written off - is this IRL or on OLD?

Both, OLD is kinda like IRL. It's an amplified version of the real world. IRL I still have to meet a lot girls till I find one who's interested and meets my very realistic criteria. No doubt results are better IRL, but I still get a lot of the same things like girls who aren't interested, BBWs, flakes and stuff like that. You gotta understand that the women online can be found in the real world too. They actually make up for a large percent of single women, maybe more than half of them. Think about it, why would a girl in her 20's early 30's use OLD. Because she's not happy with what she's meeting IRL. I actually think OLD has made women's standards higher due to the endless supply of men at their disposal.

 

If I was 5'11", I'd lie about being 6 feet tall.

 

Just do like some of those ladies do online, wear shoes that make you a couple inches taller and use your taller height like it is your actual height.

 

Nah, I'm not dating anymore. No more chasing and looking for women or setting up dates. I'm just doing my own thing. Next sunday I'm going tubing down the river by san antonio. If I meet a girl who's seems interested, I just let her know what my plans are and she's welcome to tag along if she wants.

[irc333]

 

If I meet a girl who's seems interested, I just let her know what my plans are and she's welcome to tag along if she wants.

 

Lame. "Tag along if she wants"? Yeah that'll make her feel special...well, just don't tell HER that. lol

[Els]

No I didn't miss the point. She said if we're not all tall dark handsome but but our parents were able to reproduce. I was explaining some reasons why thing might be different today.

 

People are still reproducing today....

[D.Mc.]

Okay...no joke, really: the ONLY visits/messages I have gotten on OLD the last 3 days have been from 5'7 & lower men.

 

Are you all happy now?

 

I remain unwavering: delete message (I do read it before going to the profile).

[somedude81]

Okay...no joke, really: the ONLY visits/messages I have gotten on OLD the last 3 days have been from 5'7 & lower men.

 

Are you all happy now?

 

I remain unwavering: delete message (I do read it before going to the profile).

 

Why would any of us be happy that you're ignoring short guys?

 

All you're doing is pointing out that you're shallow, unless that was your actual goal?

[KaliLove]

Why would any of us be happy that you're ignoring short guys?

 

All you're doing is pointing out that you're shallow, unless that was your actual goal?

 

Why is it shallow for her to not be attracted to a certain type of person?

 

Would you date a woman who was 400lbs? No? Ok..then by your logic, you're just as shallow as she is.

[somedude81]

Why is it shallow for her to not be attracted to a certain type of person?

 

Would you date a woman who was 400lbs? No? Ok..then by your logic, you're just as shallow as she is.

 

I've given my opinion on fat women and short guys a thousand times.

 

Go look through my previous posts to find the answer I would give in this situation.

[KaliLove]

I've given my opinion on fat women and short guys a thousand times.

 

Go look through my previous posts to find the answer I would give in this situation.

 

:roll eyes: Yeah yeah..you think it's as easy to lose weight as it is to snap your fingers. Hint..it's not.

 

Would you date a woman with severe acne? How about one who was born missing a limb or three? Or one who was disfigured? How about a woman with third degree burns on her face?

 

No? Ok..you're shallow.

 

I won't date a guy who's shorter than me either. I'm not shallow. I have a preference. I'm a tall woman. That's not my fault, just like it's not your fault that you're a teeny weenie. That doesn't mean I should be forced to date a guy I'm not attracted to.

[Anela]

Why would any of us be happy that you're ignoring short guys?

 

All you're doing is pointing out that you're shallow, unless that was your actual goal?

 

She didn't mean it that way. She said she's only getting messages from short men - like some sort of payback from the universe (I think).

 

It's the same sort of thing you might say about the women you find unattractive.

[somedude81]

Wow, comparing short guys to people who are severely disfigured.

 

You must really hate us.