My first love messaged me after 3 years of being apart...should I go with it?

[SummerSkye3]

I dated this guy for about a year and we lived together and had a great relationship for awhile...He was the first and only person I've been in love with. We had a very passionate relationship (both positively and negatively at times) Every guy that I've dated after him I've compared to him as much as I've tried not to..none of them seem to measure up. When we broke up we were both going through alot and I took alot of my anger due to personal problems out on him and said some things I shouldn't have; he ended up breaking up with me, although it was an emotional breakup on both our parts. We're both in very different places now than we were then. He was in another relationship after me and lived with the girl, at one point they were engaged. I hear from mutual friends that he broke up with her...and he recently sent me a message (out of the blue) implying that he wanted to catch up. I went to see him yesterday and we talked for an hour and a half or so and we got along better than ever...it seemed like no time at all had passed..and afterwards he sent me a message saying he was really glad I stopped by and it was nice seeing me. I have plans to see him again in about a week. I'm not sure if he wants to be friends, a booty call, just to be on speaking terms, or something more. Normally I wouldnt even consider inviting an ex from my past back into my life, but I feel like there should be an exception for someone who held such a huge place in my life. I'm not sure if this is something worth exploring or if it's more than likely that I'll just get hurt again..is it worth the risk?

[seagen]

I would go with it for now. Meet up, see what he's up to and evaluate how you feel. They say "its a break-up because its broken" and "second chances never work" but it sounds like you both felt (feel?) very deeply about each other. Make sure that the reason(s) for the break-up are truly resolved and that you've learned how to handle your anger (communication) more effectively. I'd take precaution, though, because I try to remind myself its hard to be the "exception" rather than the "rule."

[SummerSkye3]

Thanks. I'm definitely going to be cautious. It took me around a year and dating a ton of guys after that breakup to finally get back to where I felt somewhat normal, and I'm finally almost 100% happy with myself, my life and being alone, so it's huge risk for me to put it out on the table again.

 

Part of me wants to look for ways to show him how far I've come with my life and how different I am now (At 21 I'm completely independent, super happy, and have very clear goals and motivation for my life and career whereas then I was none of those things) but I think if it's meant to be he'll see that himself without me having to try so hard. I'm trying to go into it with zero expectations though.

Edited August 26, 2012 by SummerSkye3

[the ill-made knight]

I could have written this myself. I'm currently exploring things with my first love/only love..got to tell you it's good, but just be cautious and remember the reasons why things didn't work out the first time. Those issues may have resolved themselves, but then again they may have not. Somethings unfortunately, never change.