Caius Ballad Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 What I mean by that is how coldly women judge you. The date can be going well but if you make too many mistakes that show weakness many females are fast to dump you. I even seen it in many topics on this site where other men are talking about how good the date was until she went cold which tells me the TC shown her a weak beta male trait. This is why I;m finding it hard to even respect women when they're the ones who are extremely cold hearted. I always feel like I can't screw up and being a short guy makes it even more stressful when women have tons of choices to date better taller guys. I can't help but wonder if western women are too hypergamous. As in the modern western woman has so many choices in higher status guys that it makes it harder for us lower status men. Even with game and some other PUA skills it's hard as hell when the female has so many choices most of which are better than me.
johan Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 You're mostly just thinking away whatever chance you might have to succeed. It wouldn't hurt for you to find something else to obsess about. 2
Lonely Ronin Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 I even seen it in many topics on this site where other men are talking about how good the date was until she went cold which tells me the TC shown her a weak beta male trait. Just because they think it's going well, doesn't mean she is. Even with game and some other PUA skills it's hard as hell when the female has so many choices most of which are better than me. Your "I'm a looser" mentality is probably turning them off. 2
irc333 Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 You know, I often thought that myself. I had very rare occasions where we had instant chemistry. It's been a long time since I kissed a woman on a FIRST date...I recall us bowling together, and her giving me this sweet smile everytime we made eye contact. We walked to the parking long, she was leaning against me as we were walking, and we kissed twice good night. The chemistry was ALL THERE. She even called me when I got home, to see if I made it home okay. I thought that very MOMENT that my dating dry streak was over, and I found myself the "it" girl! Then, I went to call her to ask her out again, no return calls, nothing...not return emails, everything went ignored. For a while I was scratching my head about this. THis is when I realized, no matter how many times women claim "There must me chemistry" (and usually this is on the women).....well, I don't believe it anymore. It's very short lived...no doubt I was probably harshly judged in this case, as in many cases being judged for even a smidgen of something so stupid. What I mean by that is how coldly women judge you. The date can be going well but if you make too many mistakes that show weakness many females are fast to dump you. I even seen it in many topics on this site where other men are talking about how good the date was until she went cold which tells me the TC shown her a weak beta male trait. This is why I;m finding it hard to even respect women when they're the ones who are extremely cold hearted. I always feel like I can't screw up and being a short guy makes it even more stressful when women have tons of choices to date better taller guys. I can't help but wonder if western women are too hypergamous. As in the modern western woman has so many choices in higher status guys that it makes it harder for us lower status men. Even with game and some other PUA skills it's hard as hell when the female has so many choices most of which are better than me.
Pyro Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 FTR the OP has never been on a date. Kind of hard to have dating stress. Try landing a few dates first before you come to these crazy conclusions about women. Everyone has different experiences. 4
Later82012 Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Why do you want to even think of yourself as lower status and why is a woman even a first choice in your life?
2.50 a gallon Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 "better than me" So improve yourself! Learn to celebrate life. Don't live it, celebrate it Can you dance? Learn? Can you cook? Better still can you cook something fancy other than hamburger helper? Learn What do you know about plants? Women are into growing things, especially indoor plants. Women are attracted to a man's intelligence, so instead of wasting time here complaining about that lack of luck, spend your time reading. Read about the latest findings in space, in the search for our hominid ancestors, computers, green energy, (Clue - the majority of the women that I know are very into saving the planet! They are thinking 20 - 50 and even a century down the road for their children, grand children and great great grand childern that they will never meet).
2.50 a gallon Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 I can just about guess at what point the ladies go suddenly cold on a guy. It is when he starts talking about himself, instead of talking and listening to her They could care less that you were captain of the bowling team
Later82012 Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Do not make them the focus of your life. If you run towards them they will run away from you. Only a handful of them are worth dating. A lot of them do not learn anything positive from their previous experiences, are shallow, selfish, immature, cold hearted, do not have any idea of self-respect, are hypersensitive from previous bad experiences and you cannot getaway with saying anything because they interpret everything personally. The same goes for a majority of the male population.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 You know, I often thought that myself. I had very rare occasions where we had instant chemistry. It's been a long time since I kissed a woman on a FIRST date...I recall us bowling together, and her giving me this sweet smile everytime we made eye contact. We walked to the parking long, she was leaning against me as we were walking, and we kissed twice good night. The chemistry was ALL THERE. She even called me when I got home, to see if I made it home okay. I thought that very MOMENT that my dating dry streak was over, and I found myself the "it" girl! Then, I went to call her to ask her out again, no return calls, nothing...not return emails, everything went ignored. For a while I was scratching my head about this. THis is when I realized, no matter how many times women claim "There must me chemistry" (and usually this is on the women).....well, I don't believe it anymore. It's very short lived...no doubt I was probably harshly judged in this case, as in many cases being judged for even a smidgen of something so stupid. IRC, I've had dates like that with guys to. Who seemed very into me, where I thought the date had gone well, and then I never heard fro mthem again. This doesn't just happen with men. I infact, had this happen a number of times. Chemistry is important to bring you together, but even with chemistry, it's not enough to keep two people together. I had really amazing chemistry with a man I dated and by the end of it, our relationship was a mess. It was almost like we burned right through each other. Because while we had chemistry, we didn't really have or know what the other person needed.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Caius, everytime you post my heart breaks for you. You are torturing yourself. There are a lot of unkind women out there but there are also a lot of kind women. You want love so bad, and you deserve it but you need to work on yourself before you get get to the point of loving another person. What you really need isn't a woman right now. You need to take some time to do some personal work on yourself and figure out who you are better. PLEASE do this. For yourself. Not for anyone else. 2
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 You don't have "dating stress." You have social anxiety which is exacerbated by your really unhealthy fixation on blaming all of your loneliness and other various woes on society at large, and then narrowing it down to specifically the fault of "females," as you like to call us. Just like anybody else, if you ever become willing to take an honest look at yourself and to work on YOUR own issues, you will find your life to be a much more pleasant place to be.
joystickd Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 I take it you are very satisfied with being a loser your whole life. We might as well name you Vickie. My advice is take the underoos off and get some real underwear and be a man, Life is tough dating is tough but you have to work at it to get better at it. You can't sit back and whine like a baby. You got to be proactive to change.
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 nothing in life is easy Whining on the Internet instead of doing something is. 5
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 (edited) Whining on the Internet instead of doing something is. He isn't doing anything each one of us doesn't do. Which is talk on the internet. Whether it's whining, talking, joking, debating... That is what this forum is for. If you think he's just whining, then don't read his threads. If you think he's whining, then you can just leave and not acknowledge his thread. But the last thing he needs is to be kicked in the stomach while he is down. And everyone of us here can see that C is down. He needs help. Not your shaming and negativity which is only going to cause him to be more defensive and negative in return. Clearly C is crying out for help. A little more compassion for your fellow human being and a little less judgement would be nice. And yes, C is wallowing a bit but maybe if we showed him our kindness instead of our judgemental contempt, he'd begin to open himself up more. He certainly isn't going to do that when you carelessly refer to his pain as "whining". Edited August 26, 2012 by Disenchantedly Yours 2
kaylan Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 What I mean by that is how coldly women judge you. The date can be going well but if you make too many mistakes that show weakness many females are fast to dump you. I even seen it in many topics on this site where other men are talking about how good the date was until she went cold which tells me the TC shown her a weak beta male trait. First off, I find many more men in the world to be cold-hearted than women. Its a woman's nature to be caring and compassionate...so I think the title of this thread is bs. Secondly, have you been on many dates with women? Or hung out with many solo? If a girl has decided shes initially into you, you have to do or say something very, very stupid for her to be fast to dump you. Generally what may be happening to you and other guys is that the woman wasnt into you much to being with. Dont blame the misguided alpha/beta dichotomy. This is why I;m finding it hard to even respect women when they're the ones who are extremely cold hearted. I always feel like I can't screw up and being a short guy makes it even more stressful when women have tons of choices to date better taller guys. They arent cold hearted. You are just very insecure. You should simply not stress this so much and focus on succeeding with women who will actually like you. I can't help but wonder if western women are too hypergamous. As in the modern western woman has so many choices in higher status guys that it makes it harder for us lower status men. Even with game and some other PUA skills it's hard as hell when the female has so many choices most of which are better than me. Some women date up, and some men date up. It can be in a lot of areas. Either way, not everyone does it. Many people just want an equal they connect with. All this over-thinking, mental masturbation causes a self fulfilling prophecy based on failure. 1
tomhomme13 Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 To the OP, Unfortunately, IMO good looks is the key. You can try improving yourself but that's just a minuscule upgrade. Take me for example, I'm described by my female friends to be brilliant, smart, and funny. I'm 6 ft tall, physically fit, well off, very good cook, good dancer, plays the piano, and *yet* I have trouble dating. And if anyone tells you that you need to be alpha, I'm a natural leader as well (I was a commander in the Army). My best female friend tells me I'm just too intimidating because I seem to know everything and am right most of the time. Personally, I think it's because I'm just not that good looking, it's the old adage brains times beauty is a constant. Unfortunately, the only solution might be to lower your standards. It's tough, but that's how it is in the real world.
Imported Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 I doubt you even talk to women on a personal level let alone go out on dates OP.
Els Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Yes, I am sure 'female cold hearted nature' is the source of all your problems.
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