irc333 Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 I must've met quite a few women lately, that have been married and divorced TWICE. I usually assume most women I meet , around my age , have been divorced at least once, but lately, there's a lot that have attempted twice...suprisingly, these were even Christian women...I know some of you might say, "that doesn't matter", but.....it seems even Christians can't keep a marriage together..even on a 2nd attempt. That being said, are there some people just not cut out for marriage, but just for passing relationships?
El Brujo Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Some people are like my friend's ex... they think marriage is a master-and-servant deal. Others can't help themselves, and they need to pump-and-dump, or else they feel smothered or gypped. It all boils down to how a person is capable of treating someone who's supposed to be their best friend. If someone is self-centered and gets married, that marriage probably won't make it.
Titanwolf Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 (edited) It's strange actually. When you legitimize a relationship via marriage, some people feel as though they've "hit their goal" and can easily fall victim to boredom and complacency. That's partly why I couldn't get married. If a woman felt like "life is too good" or if she feels trapped in our relationship and needs to "spread her wings", at least she'll have the option to leave whenever she likes without looking back. Just giving someone the ability to do that, makes all the difference IMO. Where's the fun in an affair, if there isn't much to lose?, it's the risk factor as well as the "I have a wife/husband at home and I shouldn't be doing this", that contributes to a large portion of the excitement. Edited August 26, 2012 by Titanwolf 1
soccerrprp Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 I must've met quite a few women lately, that have been married and divorced TWICE. I usually assume most women I meet , around my age , have been divorced at least once, but lately, there's a lot that have attempted twice...suprisingly, these were even Christian women...I know some of you might say, "that doesn't matter", but.....it seems even Christians can't keep a marriage together..even on a 2nd attempt. That being said, are there some people just not cut out for marriage, but just for passing relationships? Yes, many people are not cut out for marriage. The problem is not the institution, rather, the individual personalities, expectations, etc. All too common that people feel that once married, sitting back and dispensing with all the romantic endeavors is acceptable. It's not! In fact, even more effort should be made to maintain in once in a LTR or married. Christians have divorce rates as high as rest of society. Not surprising considering there is often little demonstrative correlation between religious beliefs and behavior on a day-to-day basis. We are all programmed in one way or another by our experiences, genetics to what kind of personality we are going to have, so religion will do little nothing to change that. I really believe that there is a genetic component that predisposes people to marriage or LTR success.
Author irc333 Posted August 26, 2012 Author Posted August 26, 2012 It's strange actually. When you legitimize a relationship via marriage, some people feel as though they've "hit their goal" and can easily fall victim to boredom and complacency. That's partly why I couldn't get married. If a woman felt like "life is too good" or if she feels trapped in our relationship and needs to "spread her wings", at least she'll have the option to leave whenever she likes without looking back. Just giving someone the ability to do that, makes all the difference IMO. Where's the fun in an affair, if there isn't much to lose?, it's the risk factor as well as the "I have a wife/husband at home and I shouldn't be doing this", that contributes to a large portion of the excitement. Good point, speaking of affairs, I recall a married man telling me something. I was considering dating a separated woman.....and he said, "Dude, you don't want to do that because you might wind up with slashed tired or a gun in your face!" Apparently, a cheating spouse carries more weight than a cheating g/f or b/f.
prettylittlethings Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Not "cut out?" You say that like marriage is a goal desired by everyone but not everybody can achieve it. LOL Eye opener, not everybody's goal in life is to be married. It's certainly not mine. Marriage certainly does not equate to relationship success and I will probably never get married knowing my own nature and that it is not suited.
Author irc333 Posted August 26, 2012 Author Posted August 26, 2012 Not "cut out?" You say that like marriage is a goal desired by everyone but not everybody can achieve it. LOL Well, a friend of mine, had a sister that was married 2wice before the age of 30...now divorced/ single. Usually this is a phrased mentioned after someone has been married/divorced multiple times. If you've had that many failed marriages, why bother getting married again?
prettylittlethings Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Well, a friend of mine, had a sister that was married 2wice before the age of 30...now divorced/ single. Usually this is a phrased mentioned after someone has been married/divorced multiple times. If you've had that many failed marriages, why bother getting married again? Maybe they like weddings? Maybe they like having a day all about them? The attention? Who knows... but marriage is about far more than just a "lifetime commitment." Actually, usually it doesn't end up about being about that all and then all that's left is the glamour of the actual wedding and a piece of jewelry.
Radu Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 A while back i had the opportunity to discuss divorce with a priest turned lawyer who specialised in divorce cases. He had an unique insight into all of this because in God's eyes [orthodox christianity], the couple is joined forever and the bond cannot be undone by human laws. Even if one divorces and remarries, the initial marriage is still valid in the eyes of God. His rationalization for 'betraying his faith' by helping break this bond was that nothing could break the initial bond that God was party to anyway. What i'm trying to say OP is that if there is an interest, humanity will find a way to rationalize anything it does.
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