Bad working environment. Should I quit? But I don't have a job

August 24, 2012

My boss and I had a long talk where he practically threatened me (and this is not the 1st time) that I will lose my job, said I am performing badly and I know it's not true... until I blurted out that I am no longer happy in this company and wanted to quit for so long.

Now I don't think I can go on there anymore after that conversation, so I think I should really quit now.

My problem is I can't be without a job or I will starve to death.

I have to save face and quit now. Is this the right thing to do?

Edited August 24, 2012 by kindest

August 24, 2012

regardless of how you feel about work and how you feel about who you work with you should never if possible leave a paying job untill you have another one to walk into.

Better method would be to set yourself a target to find a new job and actively seek one of your downtime.

Its a known fact that it is FAR easier to move from a job to another one.

If you quit now you are NOT saving face you are cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Quitting because you dnt get on with your boss only shows that you cannot handle working with certain people that you cannot stick it out when its rough. It sends a horrible message to prospective employers wheras if you walk into an interview with a current job you can demand far better pay hours and working enviroments.

Seriously consider if you can survive for say 1 more month untill you find something else, tho i would say that if you are truely actively seeking a new job you will find one within a week(Fact).

And learn from this turn of events something i learned the hard way, if you are happy or not in your current employment you should never stop looking for a new employer or job.

August 24, 2012

He practically told me to leave already. That he is not happy with my work. The truth is I'm not happy here anymore, it's been a long time. I've been looking for a job but I guess I kinda stalled for a couple of months.

We have an unhealthy relationship now and our conflict just made it worse.

I have asked all the people I know, if they wer in m shoes what would they do. Everyone told me they'd quit.

I guess I've already made my decision I just need some affirmation that I'm doing the right thing.

How can I still work here when I know they're not happy with my performance?

August 24, 2012

You are doing the right thing by quitting but you need to quit and stroll into your next job, you can continue working there because its not a relationship your not there to make them feel good about you or you good about yourself your there to make money and quite frankly who gives a flying F*ck if there not happy as long as they keep paying you while you find that next job.

Just use this hatred of going to work as extra motivation to really push in finding that new job.

August 24, 2012

Just give your two weeks notice and then try to leave as amicably as possible. Start actively searching for another job right away. When the situation has deteriorated to the point you have described, it really doesn't work to stay there any longer. Too much bad blood to work there. Give your two weeks notice, and then give him your honest effort for the remaining two weeks time. I hope you have enough savings to get you through your unemployment. In the future, always line another job up before you cut your ties with a current employer, and make every effort to get along with your boss and co-workers so that you can leave under amicable circumstances if you don't like the job or the work environment.

August 24, 2012

I'm thinking of your food and lodging. Don't quit.

Over here, if a boss induces/intimidates an employee to leave - and the employee formally quits: No unemployment benefits/monies.

Do your job as well as you can, and with No pressure! Dare them to fire you.

Edited August 24, 2012 by UpwardForward

August 24, 2012

You should have a contract. What does that say about notice periods, personnel files, verbal warnings, written warnings and final warnings?

All conditions of employment should be in there.... even if you don't have a written contract, there is employment protection....

August 24, 2012

He practically told me to leave already. That he is not happy with my work. The truth is I'm not happy here anymore, it's been a long time. I've been looking for a job but I guess I kinda stalled for a couple of months.

We have an unhealthy relationship now and our conflict just made it worse.

I have asked all the people I know, if they wer in m shoes what would they do. Everyone told me they'd quit.

I guess I've already made my decision I just need some affirmation that I'm doing the right thing.

How can I still work here when I know they're not happy with my performance?

Hmm if you think he might let you go, you might just let him fire you. You might be able to get unemployment benefits that way...depending on the reason you were let go. Have you been following all protocol procedures and they no longer see you as a good fit for the company? If it's simply that they no longer see you as a good fit, you could easily obtain unemployment if you let them let you go. I am assuming you live in the U.S. This happened to my husband where he was threatened to be let go, he quit. If he had let them fire him, he could have gotten unemployment benefits. However if you quit, it is very difficult to obtain benefits unless you have a very valid reason. I know from experience.

I quit my job last year, because my store manager and immediate supervisor (who was just promoted from my level) was a total drama queen and complaining about me to my manager every chance she got. She had a clique going on with the management and I was being treated terribly. The union didn't do anything about it either. And when she purposely had given herself the day off when I had previously requested it for my wedding anniversary and scheduled me to work, I had had it with the company. I gave a weeks notice, they gave me crap, but I didn't care. I found a better job a few months later. I have no regrets.

August 24, 2012

My boss and I had a long talk where he practically threatened me (and this is not the 1st time) that I will lose my job, said I am performing badly and I know it's not true... until I blurted out that I am no longer happy in this company and wanted to quit for so long.

Now I don't think I can go on there anymore after that conversation, so I think I should really quit now.

My problem is I can't be without a job or I will starve to death.

I have to save face and quit now. Is this the right thing to do?

No, I would not quit -- let him fire you. You'll at least get the unemployment benefits out of it, for a while anyway. If you quit, it will be voluntary, and you'll have to hit the pavement in a hurry, with a bad reference to boot. Unless you do some serious damage control now, you're going to get a bad reference anyway, so what you need is income and time. Either you stay and somehow work this out (the most advisable solution) or you let him fire you and apply for unemployment insurance. If you do the latter, look for a job from sun up until sun down and get your references together.

Personally, as I said, I would approach the boss tomorrow or whenever you see him again and just be somewhat apologetic. Just acknowledge that you realize you're having some trouble getting comfortable in that working environment, but that you don't want to quit and that you'd appreciate more time in developing. Tell him that you said what you said out of frustration and that you didn't really mean it. I know you'll probably feel as though you have to cut your nads off to do this, but I would at least try to leave a few planks left on the bridge. It's not that you'd ever want to work there again and not that they'd ever want to hire you back, but it would at least remove some of the motivation your boss may now have from giving you a bad rep.

Just be prepared because your boss may not be so willing to patch things up -- some people are just dicks. But don't worry about that - focus on what you can control, which leads me to another important point. Of greater importance in this situation is knowing the real root reasons why things aren't working out. How much of this problem is your boss and the working environment? How much of the problem is stuff that you can control? You need to answer those questions first, I think. In the meantime, be as diplomatic as possible and acknowledge fault if there is any, regardless of what people around you do. I think one of the most important things in life and in social relationships is knowing how to function when people around you do things you don't agree with and treat you in ways you feel are unfair. Life is unfair. You still have to live it. Doesn't mean you shouldn't try to work for fairness - you should. But just deal with whatever comes.

Edited August 24, 2012 by Fugu

August 25, 2012

They won't fire me. They were all empty threats. How do I know this?

When my boss threatened me and told me to leave, I answered, 'Well, if it isn't working out anymore for either of us... maybe I should just leave.'

As soon as I said that, he started taking back what he said... 'I don't want to you to go. I want you to stay. Just improve your work performance.'

But then it just turned me off. Mind you, that wasn't the first time he threatened to fire me... and every time I knew they were all empty threats. Do I really want to work that way, not having security in my job? So I also said, 'Well, this is my best here' What I was trying to say is that I've given it all I've got in that workplace, and if they are still not happy with my work then I guess I just have to accept that it isn't working for both of us anymore.

(not to brag but my position is very valuable to the company. I am the only one who can do my job. They can find someone to replace me, for sure... but it will be very difficult)

Like I said, I've been looking for another job for months now... and in this economy, well, you know how hard it is. I was planning to leave as soon as I got a backup. But now I guess the circumstances have changed a little.

I just think it would be impossible for us to work well together after that conversation, and all these issues are out there so what do I pretend that it never happened? If I stay, no matter how well I do or if I improve my boss would always think: 'This is not her best because she is not happy working here anymore.'

If I wait to get fired, what would I tell my next employer? Isn't that worse than quitting when you know you and your previous employer are just not working out?

Edited August 25, 2012 by kindest

August 25, 2012

They won't fire me. They were all empty threats. How do I know this?

When my boss threatened me and told me to leave, I answered, 'Well, if it isn't working out anymore for either of us... maybe I should just leave.'

As soon as I said that, he started taking back what he said... 'I don't want to you to go. I want you to stay. Just improve your work performance.'

But then it just turned me off. Mind you, that wasn't the first time he threatened to fire me... and every time I knew they were all empty threats. Do I really want to work that way, not having security in my job? So I also said, 'Well, this is my best here' What I was trying to say is that I've given it all I've got in that workplace, and if they are still not happy with my work then I guess I just have to accept that it isn't working for both of us anymore.

(not to brag but my position is very valuable to the company. I am the only one who can do my job. They can find someone to replace me, for sure... but it will be very difficult)

Like I said, I've been looking for another job for months now... and in this economy, well, you know how hard it is. I was planning to leave as soon as I got a backup. But now I guess the circumstances have changed a little.

I just think it would be impossible for us to work well together after that conversation, and all these issues are out there so what do I pretend that it never happened? If I stay, no matter how well I do or if I improve my boss would always think: 'This is not her best because she is not happy working here anymore.'

If I wait to get fired, what would I tell my next employer? Isn't that worse than quitting when you know you and your previous employer are just not working out?

Not really, either way they could call for a reference unless you put no to contacting them or leave them off your resume. Without bashing the company, you could just say you were let go because the company didn't feel you were a good fit and you decided to pursue other opportunities better suited to your abilities. When or IF that happens. It is a tough economy and unless you have someone who can assist you financially, I would not leave the job without another job lined up. Do your best while searching high and low for another job..even if it pays slightly less. Anything to get out of the environment. What exactly about the job is toxic?

August 25, 2012

You should have a contract. What does that say about notice periods, personnel files, verbal warnings, written warnings and final warnings?

All conditions of employment should be in there.... even if you don't have a written contract, there is employment protection....

Hello....??

August 25, 2012

@tara maiden, I'd have to review that contract if there is.

@pink_sugar, I've been with the company almost 5 years. I can't leave them out of my resume. I think I'd just have to talk to my boss again about this and exit gracefully. We've always had a good working relationship, until this happened. Anyway, I did say what I had to say respectfully... that I guess it's time I have to move on to another job and that it's not personal, etc. etc. By the end of our conversation he calmed down, he was sad, but it looked like he understood. He just told me to think about it.

It's not the job that's toxic, it's the company, the people, and their system/policies (of lack thereof). It's a small company and tendency is there are a lot of flaws that they would give little attention to. And like I said, I was planning to leave anyway for greener pastures, just a natural way of moving on to a better company. I was biding time, but with what happened I feel that I can no longer stay and will no longer work well together with my boss.

Edited August 25, 2012 by kindest

August 25, 2012

You should know if you had a contract - you would have signed it....

Can you not approach your boss with some constructive points within the company and suggest some modifications, ways you could work together, instead of being at loggerheads and having conflicts arise between you?

Are there some things happening which go against, for example, Health & Safety directives, staff hours and management, working conditions?

How would you - if you were boss - address those?

Is bringing something to the table so impossible?

August 25, 2012

You should know if you had a contract - you would have signed it....

Can you not approach your boss with some constructive points within the company and suggest some modifications, ways you could work together, instead of being at loggerheads and having conflicts arise between you?
Are there some things happening which go against, for example, Health & Safety directives, staff hours and management, working conditions?
How would you - if you were boss - address those?

Is bringing something to the table so impossible?

Yes I do remember signing a contract.

About talking to my boss constructively... believe me, I've tried. These issues didn't pop up just now, they've been ongoing and we've had many conversations about this before. My boss is going under a lot of pressure himself, he was given the COO position late last year, and the company is under new management. I guess all our problems started from there. Objectively speaking, he is not managing the company and the employees very well. I mean I understand that some adjustments have to be done, but it has been months and the situation is not improving... at this point, it's high time I thought about myself and my future.

Bottomline is I am unhappy and cannot continue to work there anymore. I want to leave asap but as amicably as possible. 5 years with the company is a long time and of course I benefitted a lot too from those 5 years... but when it's time to move on, it's time to move on. Maybe I needed this to happen just to get me moving.

Edited August 25, 2012 by kindest

August 25, 2012

Do you have a copy?

My point is, this could be considered a case of constructive dismissal...

August 25, 2012

Do you have a copy?
My point is, this could be considered a case of constructive dismissal...

I don't have a copy.

I googled constructive dismissal. Here's what is says on Wikipedia:

In employment law, constructive dismissal, also called constructive discharge, occurs when employees resign because their employer's behaviour has become so intolerable or heinous or made life so difficult that the employee has no choice but to resign. Since the resignation was not truly voluntary, it is in effect a termination. For example, when an employer makes life extremely difficult for an employee to attempt to have the employee resign rather than outright firing the employee, the employer is trying to effect a constructive discharge.

I found this on another link:

Constructive dismissal is an employer’s act amounting to dismissal but made to appear as if it were not – a dismissal in disguise. In most cases of constructive dismissal, the employee is allowed to continue to work, but is simply reassigned, or demoted, or his pay diminished without a valid reason to do so.

Constructive dismissal does not always involve forthright dismissal or diminution in rank, compensation, benefit and privileges. There may be constructive dismissal if an act of clear discrimination, insensibility or disdain by an employer becomes so unbearable on the part or the employee that it could foreclose any choice by him except to forego his continued employment.

So, in my case, if it is constructive dismissal... then they would have to pay me as if I was terminated right?

I kind of feel that I don't have a choice. I mean, of course I always have a choice... but choosing to stay would make me very unhappy and the situation very uncomfortable.

The other thing is, I don't want to leave on a bad note. I just want to make it seem that it is just a professional decision and not personal. Like I said, 5 years with the company is a lot of time invested and I don't want that to go to waste.

Edited August 25, 2012 by kindest

August 25, 2012

I would respectfully suggest, if you have the time, that you find an employment lawyer, and see if they have something like "1st hour free" offer...

Really, if they dismiss you, they would have to have had staff meetings, you would have had warning letters in your personnel file, records of all disciplinary matters, and a periodic evaluation of your work standards and performance.

And you would know all about these, as you have to be issued copies, or at least be made aware of them and sign that you have seen and understood them, when you've had dealings of this kind....

You definitely SHOULD have a copy of your contract, if you signed one....

I would - hard as it may be - do your damnest to stick around.

In other words, don't fall - wait until you're pushed.

Keep letters, emails, text messages, and make a note of 'meetings and encounters' with management, the date and what was said....

(Please believe me when I tell you - I speak from experience....)

August 25, 2012

Ohh man, I was kind of thinking that my last conversation with my boss was the 'push' that I would have to wait for. Also, every conversation we had was verbal.

I am not kidding when I said they won't fire me. They really won't. I am too valuable to the company. Unless I screw up, or do something really unforgivable, and I don't really want to resort to that. They can look for a replacement, for sure... but it would be very difficult. My job is too specialized and not a lot of people can do it.

Anyway, I do have some lawyer friends I can consult in the meantime.

Thanks very much.

August 25, 2012

They wouldn't fire you because you're valuable to the company - yet he threatens that you will loose your job and are performing badly.

When I first read the latter I thought he was trying to intimidate you into leaving so they wouldn't have to pay unemployment.

Are you in an area that offers unemployment compensation?

Before leaving, I would have another job lined up if you need this job for living.

Edited August 25, 2012 by UpwardForward

August 25, 2012

They wouldn't fire you because you're valuable to the company - yet he threatens that you will loose your job and are performing badly.

When I first read the latter I thought he was trying to intimidate you into leaving so they wouldn't have to pay unemployment.

No, as I said, it was an empty threat. As soon as I talked about leaving, my boss took back everything he said. If they had been serious about firing me, he would have let me go right then and there.

When I told him I'm serious and been having thoughts of leaving since late last year he told me to not make any decisions and to think about it.

It wasn't the first time he threatened me, but it was my first time to answer back and tell him honestly what I felt.

Again, I am the only one in the company who can do my job at the moment. I have a specialized skill. It is always possible to get my replacement, but it would be very difficult. My leaving would cripple them, it's a big deal.

August 25, 2012

No, as I said, it was an empty threat. As soon as I talked about leaving, my boss took back everything he said. If they had been serious about firing me, he would have let me go right then and there.

When I told him I'm serious and been having thoughts of leaving since late last year he told me to not make any decisions and to think about it.

It wasn't the first time he threatened me, but it was my first time to answer back and tell him honestly what I felt.

Again, I am the only one in the company who can do my job at the moment. I have a specialized skill. It is always possible to get my replacement, but it would be very difficult. My leaving would cripple them, it's a big deal.

I would still have another job lined up before leaving.

And, hopefully there would be unemployment benefits offered in your area, should anything ever happen to your job - before finding another.

August 27, 2012

I got an email from work today -- just the regular email about some task that had to be done. When I read it I felt sick to my stomach.

I just can't do it anymore. I'm quitting. Already wrote my resignation letter. I'm handing it over asap.

Thanks LS peeps for all your help.

August 27, 2012

What else was in the email that prompted you to feel that way? Anyhow, it is your decision, but I hope you are able to get some financial assistance from family in the meantime or have a small savings to back you up. Search for work as if your life depends on it...even if you have to take lower pay. Best of luck to you! I never regretted quitting my job at all.

August 28, 2012

What else was in the email that prompted you to feel that way? Anyhow, it is your decision, but I hope you are able to get some financial assistance from family in the meantime or have a small savings to back you up. Search for work as if your life depends on it...even if you have to take lower pay. Best of luck to you! I never regretted quitting my job at all.

Just the thought of still having to work there made me feel uneasy.

I already handed my resignation letter. My boss and I had a good talk. He understood and even wished me well. Last day of work would be end of this month. I feel good.

Yes, I will have some assistance from family. I will devote time to looking for another job asap.

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