Shotputter Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 I recently met this girl at work and i asked for her number. We texted for a couple days and i asked her if she wanted to hangout. She suggested we sleep over her house. I've barley spent any time talking to this girl and we barley know eachother. I just went through a really rough breakup about 3 months ago and im still recovering. Could this be potentially dangerous for my recovery? I feel like things are moving too fast and im gonna be comparing everything to my ex. Me and my ex took things really REALLY slow at first so im not sure if im used to doing things so fast. It might turn me off from her or i might like it.. im not sure which ones its gonna be.... I doubt we will have sex. but Idk it just kinda seems sluttish of her.
kiss_andmakeup Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 Well, depends on what you want. It definitely seems like an offer for casual sex or at the least fooling around. Is that what you want? If so, go for it. If not, turn it down or suggest going for drinks or some coffee or something instead. That is, if you're still interested in pursuing an actual relationship with her after her "slutty" (your word not mine) proposition. Is it possible that she knows about your recent serious breakup, and therefore doesn't see you as emotionally available?
Imajerk17 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 She thinks you're hot and wants to hook up. A little brazen on her part. Women have needs too you know. If you see it for what it is--a hookup which might not lead to more, and you're OK with that, then go for it. If not, then there's no shame in telling her you just got out of a relationship and you aren't ready for that.
RedRobin Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 It's no more 'slutty' than guys who suggest the same thing... ... but it doesn't sound like this is your normal MO... so to answer your question... Yes, I think this has the potential of messing up your healing... for alot of reasons. You hardly know this woman. There is no guarantee that she will fade into the woodwork after the fun... AND... this is someone you work with... dangerous territory even when you do know each other... If you were one of my guyfriends, I'd be advising him to hold off... At least long enough to insure there will be no post hookup drama. Not everything is covered by condoms and insurance... (one of my mantras)
Author Shotputter Posted August 22, 2012 Author Posted August 22, 2012 to be honest i think the most we will do it make out and maybe some handwork.. haha. I think im gonna give this a shot and see how it goes. I dont wanna be afraid to meet other girls forever just because of my ex and who knows maybe i will really like this girl.
Imajerk17 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 "The best way to get over one girl is to get under another..." 3
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 I recently met this girl at work and i asked for her number. We texted for a couple days and i asked her if she wanted to hangout. She suggested we sleep over her house. I've barley spent any time talking to this girl and we barley know eachother. I just went through a really rough breakup about 3 months ago and im still recovering. Could this be potentially dangerous for my recovery? I feel like things are moving too fast and im gonna be comparing everything to my ex. Me and my ex took things really REALLY slow at first so im not sure if im used to doing things so fast. It might turn me off from her or i might like it.. im not sure which ones its gonna be.... I doubt we will have sex. but Idk it just kinda seems sluttish of her. Shotputter, if you think it's sluttish of her, what does that mean about you? I don't get guys that begrudge women that actually want to sleep with them. A little self loathing perhaps? Like you don't want to be part of any club that would actually have you? Most women are only capable of sleeping with guys then honestly like. I don't really think it's great that she suggested the sleep over. But I don't think that makes her a slut and you innocent. Especially if you agree to go through with it. If you like this girl and are worried about where it's going to leave you by going along with her suggestion, have some backbone and tell her you like her but rather take things slower. Stop leaving this aspect of relationships and communications on the full responsibility of the woman. Just because a woman offers something, doesn't mean you have to take it right then and there. Especially if you know it is going to give you a negative opinion of her. 2
RedRobin Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 Shotputter, if you think it's sluttish of her, what does that mean about you? I don't get guys that begrudge women that actually want to sleep with them. A little self loathing perhaps? Like you don't want to be part of any club that would actually have you? Most women are only capable of sleeping with guys then honestly like. I don't really think it's great that she suggested the sleep over. But I don't think that makes her a slut and you innocent. Especially if you agree to go through with it. If you like this girl and are worried about where it's going to leave you by going along with her suggestion, have some backbone and tell her you like her but rather take things slower. Stop leaving this aspect of relationships and communications on the full responsibility of the woman. Just because a woman offers something, doesn't mean you have to take it right then and there. Especially if you know it is going to give you a negative opinion of her. Yea, OP. Never forget that penis is attached to your body... not hers. You own it... along with half the responsibility for however things turn out. 2
Radu Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 I recently met this girl at work and i asked for her number. We texted for a couple days and i asked her if she wanted to hangout. She suggested we sleep over her house. I've barley spent any time talking to this girl and we barley know eachother. I just went through a really rough breakup about 3 months ago and im still recovering. Could this be potentially dangerous for my recovery? I feel like things are moving too fast and im gonna be comparing everything to my ex. Me and my ex took things really REALLY slow at first so im not sure if im used to doing things so fast. It might turn me off from her or i might like it.. im not sure which ones its gonna be.... I doubt we will have sex. but Idk it just kinda seems sluttish of her. You think having a rebound relationship with someone you work with is a smart ideea ?
kaylan Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 (edited) Shotputter, if you think it's sluttish of her, what does that mean about you? I don't get guys that begrudge women that actually want to sleep with them. A little self loathing perhaps? Like you don't want to be part of any club that would actually have you? Most women are only capable of sleeping with guys then honestly like. I don't really think it's great that she suggested the sleep over. But I don't think that makes her a slut and you innocent. Especially if you agree to go through with it. If you like this girl and are worried about where it's going to leave you by going along with her suggestion, have some backbone and tell her you like her but rather take things slower. Stop leaving this aspect of relationships and communications on the full responsibility of the woman. Just because a woman offers something, doesn't mean you have to take it right then and there. Especially if you know it is going to give you a negative opinion of her. He isnt the one who invited her over to his place is he? He can make a judgement of her all he likes as he hasnt done anything himself. If he does hook up with her, than they are in the same boat. Until then, hes free to see her behavior as sluttish. Sorry, but a person who just meets a colleague at work and immediately invites them to sleepover is kind of a slut. I wonder how old OP and this girl are though. Because this sounds like something only teenagers and early to mid 20s folks do at less than professional good job. I couldnt see someone in a post college professional atmosphere inviting a colleague to sleep over when she just met him. Edited August 23, 2012 by kaylan
It's Just Me Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Hell, NO! This will not end well. Rebound with a coworker? Holy crap.
kaylan Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 ^Meh, if folks want to slut it up, let them. If OP hooks up with the girl, Ill call them both kinda loose lol. No biggie...I say own your sexual behavior and revel in it. However, lets not pretend that the word slut is mostly used towards men. Generally people will say man-whore to refer to a guy who gets around. But then you have to ask yourself why the prefix of man is needed before the word whore....right? And although slut is sometimes used refer to a guy, most of the time I hear it used, its used to reference a woman. So while so people such as myself will use the words for both genders, lets not act like this is common practice.
Maeva Posted August 23, 2012 Posted August 23, 2012 Well, I don't see how that makes her a 'slut'. The girl probably invited you over with the idea of having sex... so what? But having sex with a co-worker, on your first date, while you're recovering from a previous relationship? I don't see it ending well. If you have doubts about this whole thing (and it sounds like you have some), I'm guessing it probably isn't the best idea.
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