manormachine Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 I've been struggling with NC (it's been almost a month) I have the urge to reach out, but I'm not sure what to say. I wrote this earlier and thought about sending it to her. Probably a bad idea, I know. So I'm writing it out here instead. I still may end up sending it, or something else, but for tonight I'll leave it here and sleep on it. I miss holding you in my arms I miss making you laugh and seeing your amazing smile I miss sneaking glances and getting lost in your eyes I miss your lips pressed against mine and our fingers intertwined I miss the times we knew what the other was thinking I miss your loving touch, your kind words, and your adventurous spirit I miss discovering new things about you; like all the ticklish spots on your body I miss missing you and you missing me and how happy we were once we saw each other again I miss the love that grew from the moment we first met; those first days between us are ones I’ll never forget I miss you _________ 1
Canadian731 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 I wouldn't send it man, or send anything. I know NC is hard, 2months and going strong here. But if she truly wants things to work out between you two she will come to you. Make sure not to try and use NC as a tool to get her back though. The whole point of NC is to better yourself and try to distance yourself from the relationship.
SoConfusedAndInShock Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 Awwwww :*( omg that's the sweetest, cutest, nd loving words ive read all day!!! She must have been so lucky to have you nd any girl would die to hear that from that specialsomeone....idk if you're the dumpers or dumpee but those are some deep words right there. Whatever your situation is I hope things get better nd you get to tell her all this in person. This makes me tear up tho lol. Nc 2 months here as well but I'm the dumpee so I just stay away nd do me for now 1
Author manormachine Posted August 22, 2012 Author Posted August 22, 2012 I am the dumpee(that sounds so silly lol) The way I see it is, I love this girl and don't want to move on without trying my hardest to make it work. Whether that be waiting for her and giving her space or pulling out all the stops and going for the big romantic gesture. Her reason for the breakup (being too busy for a relationship right now) leads me to believe there is still hope. I just don't like being stuck in limbo and not knowing for SURE that it can't work. So if she doesn't reach out to me soon, I'll have to talk to her to get answers and closure. That's the only way I can see moving on. I know people say closure comes from within, but in my case, it would be easier hearing it from her. Our would be anniversary is in a few weeks so im gonna try to stay NC til then if she doesn't reach out to me.
Frank13 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 Her reason for the breakup (being too busy for a relationship right now) leads me to believe there is still hope. This is code for "I want to f%$k other guys". When people want to be with someone, they make time for them. 1
rach24680 Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 if you split up with her then with the healing shes done already it's guna send her back to square one. If she broke up with you then keep venting here instead because she doesnt deserve to know how upset you are. Either way, you're doing great so far with NC why break it
edelveis Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 Dont sent anything.its hard and you are surely having a bad time but stick to NC coz its the only way to heal and move on..trust me in that.you are strong and you can fight it.just dont send it.you ll make things more difficult for you.help yourself.
aanderson088 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 (edited) I'm struggling too. My relationship has been nothing but rocky, but all at my own fault. She finally wised up and told me to **** off. Since we broke up, I've made leaps and strides in my healing. I was in counseling a few months before we broke up, because I knew I needed to fix myself in order to keep her. I relapsed again in to my old stupidity and she left. I would love to have her back, but I know I need to just let it go. It's incredibly difficult and I wish to share this new life I'm creating with her, but again, I can't. She deserves to heal and be alone (though, I think she's seeing someone else). I pray every night and I've been using my experiences to help others in need, and I've felt much better. If I make these changes, my pain will go away eventually. I just have to be strong. You can do it too. Though you may not have done anything wrong, there is always room to improve within us. Remain strong. Maybe they'll come back but they probably won't. I don't like saying that because it hurts me, too. But if it's meant to be, God will make it happen. I used to not believe in Him, but after how great I've felt, after asking Him for the strength to grow and move on, I can no longer deny it. Prayer may not be for you, but if it isn't then do what else I do: Look in the mirror and remind yourself why you're awesome. Compliment yourself like YOU are the significant other. Make yourself do things (cleaning, playing instruments, go to the gym, etc.). They distract and build you as a person. If you care about yourself, you'll care about the things you like. If you care about the things you like, then you'll get better at them and you'll feel better about yourself, which will just make you feel better PERIOD. It also helps if you just admit to yourself that they won't come back. That pain is remarkable, initially, but it fades and then you too can move on. Be patient. Be steadfast. Be vigilant, and remain strong to yourself. You'll get through this, no matter what. Be careful not to check Facebook or any social networks, at all. I deleted mine in fact. I feel great and I have removed these silly little temptations that fed my ego and tore me away to begin with. You don't sound like the type of person that cared too much for yourself and too little for others, or the significant other. I was. But I know now that isn't how I want to live, so in order for me to recover I'm trying to make it a point to help others so that I can feel better. It's selfish but it's aimed so I think that makes it okay haha. I wish you the best. I believe in you, even if you don't believe in yourself. Edited August 27, 2012 by aanderson088 a few spelling errors
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