She says she loves me, but isn't willing to try to make it work.

[Mikeyg]

Good Afternoon everyone, thanks for taking the time to read through my thread. I am new to the idea of posting my problems/situation online so please bare with me. I was happily in a relationship for the past 12 months with a beautiful and intelligent girl who I've fallen madly in love with. The feeling has been mutual and the time we have spent together has been amazing. All the cliche little things we used to do together felt so unique to me and we both used to tell eachother how madly in love we were, she told me that i treated her with more respect and tenderness than anyone she has ever met, and wanted to perhaps one day marry me. As with a lot of relationships there were sometimes little problems that we both had to overcome, she is a beautiful young lady and very out going, although I trusted her 100% I did at times struggle with the jealous feelings I had when other guys would BBM and Facebook her. I must admit I did become a little insecure of myself but this I began to combat and things were looking up.

 

There was further strain on the relationship because of my job, working 30 miles away from hers and working 65 hour weeks I had to change jobs and move closer in order to make life easier for our relationship. She actively encouraged this as she was exstatic at the idea of me having more time to divide between myself and our relationship. I found a new job (a slightly lesser paid one, but money wasn't the biggest importance to me at the time) moved back to my mums house which was 10 mins down the road. Life felt great.

 

We had an argument over something small one afternoon and she told me she wanted some space, this I gave to her. She asked of we could meet up to talk, I took her to a restaurant and she told me she loved me more than anyone on earth and has never had anyone treat her so good, but she missed the freedom of it being in a relationship, not having to worry about what the other person might think and not having the stress of it all. She called a no contact break which I honoured. In this time I realised a lot of the destructive behaviours (jealousy/insecurity) which may have pushed her to feel this way. After a week we met up and she told me she had missed me and loved me but was split between two minds. She has said that she is afraid to try again as she feels

She has lose the spark she used to feel. She toyed with the idea of giving it another go and then called me to tell me she couldn't carry on and had to make the hardest decision of her life and walk away. I have no heard from

her since (only a few days) but I am in bits. I explained to her that I had genuinely realised where we could

Improve the relationship and that if I could just had a chance to show

Her she would see. She obviously still loves me and her friends say she hasn't stopped crying. I am absolutely distraught, I have no passion for life and can't help But dwell on all the amazing times we shared. I do not remotely fancy any other women and just want a chance, I'm scared it's too late but don't know what I should do? I have said everything there is to say to her but I can't let her slip away, I know we are made for each other please help. Thank you x

[Matt145]

Hey mikey, im going through a very similar break up. I pushed my ex away off being jelous and insecure. And she also said she missed the single life and wanted to be free and not worry about a relationship. All you can really do is leave her and stay NC, shes likely to text and call you while in NC because she is bound to miss you since she still loves you and will miss you, this is what my ex done and i answered every text and call and it got me NOWHERE, so i suggest you blank anything what has not got anything to do with getting back together or just say to her " Im blanking you from now on i want to move on, i will only answer you if a relationship is involved". But the truth is she doesnt love you as in a boyfriend anymore, she probably loves you more like a brother now, otherwise she would have never dumped you and thats the cold hard truth. In situations like these mate there is no point in chasing them because they dont want a relationship so just leave them be and stay NC and if they want you back they will come back. Goodluck!

[Mikeyg]

Thanks Matt, hoping she does wanna sort things out one day, I'm not

Optimistic but as you said if she wants to she should come back. She said she doesn't know how to feel about me and only by not being together she would know of she truly loved and wanted me.. So there is hope I guess but at the same time I gotta start moving forward with my own life I guess.

[Crila16]

This is just the plain hard truth.

 

People don't break up with people they're in love with. It's really that simple. When people are in love, they want to make it work. They're drive is to make it work. You love her, so of course you want it to work. Women are no different. If you weren't in love with her, you wouldn't care if it worked.

[The_Face]

My ex was the same way. She said stuff like "I still love, and I don't love anyone else", "you were the best boyfriend I ever had", and when explaining why she wouldn't want to try again if that's how she really feels about me, she would say "I'm afraid of hurting you again", and "I'm just not ready to be in a relationship."

 

Don't let her string you along like my ex did me. Like Crila16 said earlier, people don't break up with people their in love with. Sure, some people take "breaks", but to me, that's a load of crap, too. In those cases, it's really just so they can mess around with someone else, guilt-free.

 

Don't mean to sound harsh here, but you two were not made for eachother. Same thing I finally learned about my ex and I.

 

It's over. Don't forget the good times, but don't put yourself through any grief thinking she's the only one for you. I did that, too, and in my case, we ended up with a child and now I'm stuck with knowing the mother of my child will never be with me, and in turn, neither will the child. You are lucky there is not a kid involved. Get over her, and start fresh. No contact, whatsoever. And don't give in to her if she starts crawling back. If she does, it's only because she wants to fall back on you as a safety net, and next time you have some unimportant argument she'll run for the hills again.

 

Not worth your time, buddy.

[Mikeyg]

Thanks for the comments guys, I guess it is cold harsh reality. Advise I don't want to have to take, but appreciate I need to.

 

x

[The_Face]

Thanks for the comments guys, I guess it is cold harsh reality. Advise I don't want to have to take, but appreciate I need to.

 

x

 

Find a new girl.

 

Preferrably one of your ex's friends, or better yet, maybe she has a sister?

 

Trust me, if you can pull something like that, you'll feel a hundred times better, and you can finally move on, all the while laughing in her face. :lmao: