GirlontheLam Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 So I am basically a closet geek. And I am also a social butterfly. I usually end up going for other social butterfly/life of the party types. But I bet I am missing out on some great guys with my extrovert bias. Especially the geeks. Because we have way more in common. So here is my problem. I tend to send those subtle signal. Touching your arm, telling you what I like..... This stuff doesn't seem to work on the shy-er guys out there. It is like an open invitation on the other types. So you tell me, how can I get you to notice me noticing you.
betterdeal Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Say things like, "I like you, wanna date/kiss/bone/bump uglies with me?"
MercuryMorrison1 Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Well I wouldn't classify myself as a geek...Shy absolutly, but geek I am not. Anyway, to anwser your question... I can't speak for all guys here, but I for example don't really tend to notice the subtle advance's from girls. Touching my arm means next to nothing to me...I have friends and family that touch my arm. So if a girls just touching me then I tend to not realize if she's hitting on me, thus I won't act on her actions (even if Im completely into her as well). I personally am a streight up kinda person, I just tell how it is and like to be told how it is. If you like a guy just start talking to him and tell him streight up that you think he's cute/intresting/charming...etc...etc. 2
somedude81 Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 You got to be really obvious. Give compliments, lots of attention. Touch frequently. Drop hints that you'd like to hang out, or something you want to go do.
SunandMoon Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 (edited) Well I wouldn't classify myself as a geek...Shy absolutly, but geek I am not. Anyway, to anwser your question... I can't speak for all guys here, but I for example don't really tend to notice the subtle advance's from girls. Touching my arm means next to nothing to me...I have friends and family that touch my arm. So if a girls just touching me then I tend to not realize if she's hitting on me, thus I won't act on her actions (even if Im completely into her as well). I personally am a streight up kinda person, I just tell how it is and like to be told how it is. If you like a guy just start talking to him and tell him streight up that you think he's cute/intresting/charming...etc...etc. Pretty much that. Guess I'll just reinforce that best I can. I am a bit of a nerd perhaps. But geek has always meant more tech savy to me; which I am not. Anyways....the shyer people (in your case men); a good portion don't pick up on the subtle signs/signals what have you, be blunt, kind and forward. Make it known you have intrest. And you say you have things in common with them, that's good, that can make shyer folk warm up to you real nicely. It may take a bit of, well, "work" to get someone out of their shell..perseverance is key. Unless they don't like you or something or runaway screaming "a girl talked to me, omg!" /kd Edited August 20, 2012 by SunandMoon
oaks Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 So you tell me, how can I get you to notice me noticing you. Show your intelligence in a non-arty way. Talk science. Tell me about the recent discovery of the Higgs Boson or the latest Mars exploration.
Emilia Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 So here is my problem. I tend to send those subtle signal. Touching your arm, telling you what I like..... This stuff doesn't seem to work on the shy-er guys out there. It is like an open invitation on the other types. So you tell me, how can I get you to notice me noticing you. Shyer guys might like the idea of a more direct woman taking charge but they can't always handle it. You can end up feeling that you are doing all the work and they can feel like being bulldozed into the ground. Sometimes it's no good forcing something that doesn't come naturally.
Tiera D Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 a girl i rather like is giving me mixed signals like you lately,touching arms,hinting etc..Let me tell you,you had to make it more obvious! TD
phineas Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Tell them about your favorite Linux Distro, ask them what they think of the proposed Booster Gold series on SyFy. If you don't know what i'm talking about, you are not a geek. 3
Author GirlontheLam Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 a girl i rather like is giving me mixed signals like you lately,touching arms,hinting etc..Let me tell you,you had to make it more obvious! TD Ok so you aren't reading into this stuff! Hahaha. I'll work on being way more obvious, and asking/scheduling an outing.
Arabella Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 First you gotta know... Geeks like our own kind. The geekier you are, the easier it will be for other geeks to connect with you. Doesn't mean it's hopeless if you aren't, but you should pick up a few geeky topics of conversation. I'm a girl geek at heart, but I also happen to be very extroverted, so I understand where you're coming from. Some things I talk about with other geeks.... Sci-Fi movies/shows, Magic: The Gathering, computer/console games, fantasy novels, tech gadgets, tech news.... If you don't find any of this interesting, chances are a real geek and you won't have much in common either. -A
Author GirlontheLam Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 I have my geeky topics....and of course the ones I don't care about. We don't need to like all of the same ones. I am into gadgets, computers, and I am a food geek. I was a video game geek, but this stopped for me with the rise of the first person shooter type games. I like old school games. Although most my friends are geeks, with varying interests.....I don't often meet new ones. I don't have a geeky job. Or maybe, as my friend said. I have a "business geek" job and not a "geek" job. It would be a farce for me to go to a gamer event.....I like car racing games, and that's kind of it. Don't like putting on false airs!
Els Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 I think both of the suggestions below are viable options. You got to be really obvious. Give compliments, lots of attention. Touch frequently. Drop hints that you'd like to hang out, or something you want to go do. Show your intelligence in a non-arty way. Talk science. Tell me about the recent discovery of the Higgs Boson or the latest Mars exploration. It really depends on the individual guy as well - geeks are, believe me, also people, not an amorphous blob of identicality. Some geek guys prioritize having a girl whom they can 'geek out' with, who identifies with them and understands them and shares their passions and intellect - those will be far more likely to be attracted to you if you go oaks' way. Some geek guys' priorities in a partner are the same as many other guys' - they just really want a pretty, nice, sweet girl who is into them and is okay with playing the occasional game with them; those will be taken by SD's method. You could just try both and see what works. I'm sure you won't like ALL geek guys either, so it depends on who you're interested in.
Arabella Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Liking ONE geeky thing doesn't necessarily make you a geek, however True that not all geeks like the same things, but we tend to choose a number of interests from a fairly large pool. I'm not sure what a "food geek" is, but I'd guess that the more traditional Sci-Fi/tech geeks may be confused if you call yourself a geek based on that Broaden your horizons!
somedude81 Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 I think both of the suggestions below are viable options. It really depends on the individual guy as well - geeks are, believe me, also people, not an amorphous blob of identicality. Some geek guys prioritize having a girl whom they can 'geek out' with, who identifies with them and understands them and shares their passions and intellect - those will be far more likely to be attracted to you if you go oaks' way. Some geek guys' priorities in a partner are the same as many other guys' - they just really want a pretty, nice, sweet girl who is into them and is okay with playing the occasional game with them; those will be taken by SD's method. You could just try both and see what works. I'm sure you won't like ALL geek guys either, so it depends on who you're interested in. Eh, the problem with Oaks method, is that many geek guys wouldn't be able to tell that the girl was interested. My post was all about being obvious. So even the most clueless guys should be able to tell that she's interested. BTW I do want a geeky girl, not somebody who tolerates the occasional game.
Author GirlontheLam Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 (edited) Liking ONE geeky thing doesn't necessarily make you a geek, however True that not all geeks like the same things, but we tend to choose a number of interests from a fairly large pool. I'm not sure what a "food geek" is, but I'd guess that the more traditional Sci-Fi/tech geeks may be confused if you call yourself a geek based on that Broaden your horizons! Haha....I have actually trimmed down interests over the years.... and replaced them with others Food geeks are basically just like the "tech" geeks. But basically we are all about food, ingredients and techniques. Where I live there is huge overlap between tech geeks, beer geeks, food geeks and coffee geeks! Most tech geeks or gamer geeks are coffee and/or beer geeks. Growing up, being into scifi was a prereq to being labeled a geek. I just don't care about scifi..... Now I think it is a little broader. You need to be passionate/obsessed and approach your interest in certain ways. Edited August 20, 2012 by GirlontheLam
Arabella Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Haha....I have actually trimmed down interests over the years.... and replaced them with others Food geeks are basically just like the "tech" geeks. But basically we are all about food, ingredients and techniques. Where I live there is huge overlap between tech geeks, beer geeks, food geeks and coffee geeks! Most tech geeks or gamer geeks are coffee and/or beer geeks. I guess we have a different definition of what geek means. To me and most people I know, geeks are mainly interested in Sci-Fi/tech/gaming. Food, beer, etc are just interests... I'm an amazing baker & cook... but I never include it in my "geek" interests.
somedude81 Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 I guess we have a different definition of what geek means. To me and most people I know, geeks are mainly interested in Sci-Fi/tech/gaming. Food, beer, etc are just interests... I'm an amazing baker & cook... but I never include it in my "geek" interests. You forgot fantasy (magic, dragons, swords etc) and anime. And yeah, food / beer, not really associated with geeks.
Els Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 (edited) Eh, the problem with Oaks method, is that many geek guys wouldn't be able to tell that the girl was interested. My post was all about being obvious. So even the most clueless guys should be able to tell that she's interested. BTW I do want a geeky girl, not somebody who tolerates the occasional game. I did say 'priorities'. I don't think most people would complain about getting both, but some people prioritize one over the other. And really, there IS nothing wrong with wanting a pretty, sweet, and nice girl who is into you, with gaming being a bonus. Plenty of people have had happy relationships stem from that. If I am mistaken about you, I apologize, but that is the impression I get of you. Sometimes, with the guys who prioritize the first aspect that I mentioned, it isn't necessarily about being 'obvious' as about just not being attracted to her. With my bf and most recent ex, mutual friends who knew them longer than I had made their 'obliviousness' the butt of many a joke. A few girls had come on to them fairly obviously, but they hadn't a clue - because they weren't looking. They weren't interested in those girls, so it didn't matter to them either way. On the other hand, I actually did not give them any 'signals', because that is just not the way I approach dating. They were attracted to me first and then pursued me, signals or none. It was my passion for gaming and related geek stuff, and intellect (according to them) that got me noticed, not any sort of obvious signals. Edited August 20, 2012 by Elswyth
Els Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Also, I try to be open-minded, but the idea of a beer-geek really does stump me. If that were the case, 90% of the undergraduate population must be geeks...
Author GirlontheLam Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 (edited) Also, I try to be open-minded, but the idea of a beer-geek really does stump me. If that were the case, 90% of the undergraduate population must be geeks... I think you must not live in a food snob area.... Beer Geeks tend to know what beers are in season. Which regions produce which flavors. Usiually into Belgian beers. Or sour beers. Anyway a really specific one (or set of flavor profiles). If you were to order a Stella, they'd look at you like you are crazy. They have the same level of dedication to learning about beer as they do about anime. They likely brew their own beer too. The Coffee Geeks are the same with coffee. It is very serious. They roast their own beans, and can tell the difference between the same beans roasted at different temps. Oh and they have tons of coffee gadgets. When you meet one of these geeks, it is at another level than just enjoying cooking/baking/drinking. My geekiness is focused on gadgets and tech. I didn't cross over into D&D, Magic or any of those card games. Board games are OK though....I haven't made it too far into them, but Risk is a winner. And I have played civilization some... Edited August 20, 2012 by GirlontheLam
SunandMoon Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 I guess we have a different definition of what geek means. To me and most people I know, geeks are mainly interested in Sci-Fi/tech/gaming. Food, beer, etc are just interests... That's always been my definition of nerd, huh. Always thought geeks were more techies than anything.
Disillusioned Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Show your intelligence in a non-arty way. Talk science. Tell me about the recent discovery of the Higgs Boson or the latest Mars exploration. I agree. Talk tech; put down that copy of Cosmo and pick up a copy of Wired or Popular Mechanics instead. But most importantly, you should approach them!
oaks Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 Also, I try to be open-minded, but the idea of a beer-geek really does stump me. You've never had someone drag you round a beer festival?
Author GirlontheLam Posted August 20, 2012 Author Posted August 20, 2012 That's always been my definition of nerd, huh. Always thought geeks were more techies than anything. I use the word interchangeably personally. Put people don't like to self-identify as nerds anymore.
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