Author GirlontheLam Posted September 3, 2012 Author Posted September 3, 2012 I should rename this thread to I am officially confused. So when we last met our heroine, I was excited about my outing with the guy I met. We've been "facebook stalking" each other, commenting on posts etc. I invited him to a museum, and that was the plan for today. So we met to head over to the museum (ride the subway together), gave him a hug and it was basically *nothing* and I thought I think I might totally be over the whole "crush part." I ended up hanging out with him the whole afternoon. We had lunch, went to 2 museums, he showed me his art studio and we had tea. (Lunch and museum 1 was my plan, he suggested the other stuff) Yup I know, that is pretty much an epic outing and very date-y since it was all one on one time. We talked about a lot of stuff. He mentioned he had a girlfriend, but we actually didn't talk about that at all. Mostly hobbies, music, family and stuff like that. We ended our outing after like 6 hours, because I was meeting some friends for dinner and he had some stuff to do. I felt like I found a new best friend. It was completely unexpected. It was completely not awkward at all hanging out with him, even though for all intensive purposes I hardly know the guy. But then, as I reflected. It is a little weird that he has a girlfriend (he mentioned it late in the afternoon), and just spent a ton of time with me.... No sure how I'd feel about that in her shoes. So now I am confused! Anyway we were plotting some other museum trips, and he wants to introduce me to his other good friends. This is really odd. It is like he and his buddy want me in their clique. This hasn't happened to me before, in the sense that I have made such fast friends. Well at least post college.
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 He has a girlfriend - end of story. 1
tigressA Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 He has a girlfriend - end of story. Yup. There is no 'confusion' to be had here. He's taken, but he likes spending time with you, so you are a friend and that is all you will ever be. If you want to be friends, do so, but make sure you're not harboring any ulterior motives.
prettylittlethings Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 It also seems like he is the type that gets sucked into something and neglects his friends (based on my conversation with him and his good friend). I am thinking there are benefits to meeting someones good friends right away. You end up learning a ton about them right off the bat. But yes, this guy is definitely super geeky: interests are computers, video games, comic books, sci-fi TV shows and metal fabrication. Pretty much the whole list of geekdom besides anime. "Facebook stalking" for me isn't too hardcore. I visit a few times a day, and read the posts at the top. If I see yours, great. If I don't oh well. His seem to be at the top of my feed, so I have seen lots of them. Comment if it is relevant. Like with everyone else I know. I don't use facebook chat, I try not to linger on the FB page too long, in case someone initiates a chat. Then I get annoyed. We got on really well, so I imagine there is room for some sort of relationship. Friendship or otherwise. He seems like a cool guy, so I'd want to get to know him. Love it how it turns from "I'm obsessed!" to slowly easing off as you feel he might not be reciprocating. Now he's just a "cool guy." Next week this guy's going to be the prick who didn't tell you he had a girlfriend. Not having a go at you, just poking some fun.
SmileFace Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 The fact that you are evening questioning his intentions while knowing he has a girlfriend means you are setting your self up for failure. You need to back off. Call up his friend but don't try to join the social circle with one on one time with him.
Author GirlontheLam Posted September 3, 2012 Author Posted September 3, 2012 (edited) Love it how it turns from "I'm obsessed!" to slowly easing off as you feel he might not be reciprocating. Now he's just a "cool guy." Next week this guy's going to be the prick who didn't tell you he had a girlfriend. Not having a go at you, just poking some fun. LOL! Actually I think the story is going to end with me having a new BFF. Maybe this one will stick around. Some how all of the male friends I have tend to disappear to the black hole. This is a recurring theme for me. My preschool best friend was a guy. Our friendship was "over" in like 3rd grade. I had a whole ton of male friends in college. 10 I would consider good ones. 3 are left, 2 are gay and one other one. So we'll see! (Not harboring any ill-feelings, we had a blast hanging out - as friends). Hanging out with him was like "holy cow we are the same person!" Edited September 3, 2012 by GirlontheLam
prettylittlethings Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Maybe this one will stick around. Some how all of the male friends I have tend to disappear to the black hole. This is a recurring theme for me. My preschool best friend was a guy. Our friendship was "over" in like 3rd grade. That's because they lose interest when they realise you're not interested in that way. I had a whole ton of male friends in college. 10 I would consider good ones. 3 are left, 2 are gay and one other one.The non gay one hasn't lost hope but that's yet to come. He'll soon realise you're not interested in that way and then you'll have 2 gay ones left. Oh dear, I'm not serious but maybe I should be.
Author GirlontheLam Posted September 4, 2012 Author Posted September 4, 2012 That's because they lose interest when they realise you're not interested in that way. The non gay one hasn't lost hope but that's yet to come. He'll soon realise you're not interested in that way and then you'll have 2 gay ones left. Oh dear, I'm not serious but maybe I should be. LOL! I think I am safe with the last straight one. It has been like 15 years. But you never know! He is one of the rare straight guys that has quite a few female friends. Some are exes, some (like me) are just friends and we have never dated him at all.
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