I think my gf is trying to protect herself

[friday3v]

So, I snooped on my girlfriend's facebook and I'm deeply saddened that I did it and at what I've found. We've had this mutual guy friend who she continuously calls a tool and says she doesn't know why I have him as a friend and that I shouldn't trust him. This is because one night when we were all hanging out he kissed her and kept telling her that he would sleep with her in a second. So, when I snooped on my girlfriend's facebook account I noticed that she designated him and only him as a "close friend" on it. This means that she gets email notifications about everything he does on facebook. It's really strange, but for some reason, deep down I still trust her and think that she is innocent in doing this. The reason I feel she may be is because she has been burned in the past by every male she has ever known (boyfriend, father...it doesn't matter). So because of this she has developed an outlook on life that things just don't go the way she wants them to. I believe she really wants us to be together forever, but I'm afraid she is doing this because she wants to protect herself because she thinks deep down that I will break up with her one day. I know what I did was wrong by snooping, but what should I do now? I just don't know and I'm so depressed.

[truth_seeker]

Your friend told your girlfriend, after he kissed her, he would bang her in a second? Why didn't you smash his face in?

[veggirl]

Hold up. He kissed her? Or they kissed each other. Were you together when this happened, as in she was your gf when they kissed one another?

 

If she is not already cheating on you, she is verrrry close.

 

Why would her inability to trust her dad and stuff lead her to adding him and only him as a close friend?

 

Pull your head out of the sand

[friday3v]

This happened about a year ago and it happened behind my back. But she told me immediately after it happened. She really didn't want me to get on him because she thought we were really good friends and she didn't want to come in between what she thought was a good friendship. I should've bashed his face and it's something I still regret.

 

@Truthseeker: Even though it has been a year, I still want to bash his face in or call him and tell him or something. But I worry that since it has been so long since the incident it'll look like i'm just holding onto something that passed so long ago.

 

I honestly don't think she would cheat on me. It may be that she already has, but i really just don't believe she would do this to me.

 

@Veggirl: He kissed her on the cheek. She didn't kiss him. The reason why I talked about her dad and stuff is because I think deep down she believes that I'm going to break up with her and leave her because that's what every guy does and because she thinks and has said that she doesn't get what she wants in life. So, I think she is putting him as a close friend on facebook because she wants to have somebody she could possibly fall back on in case we don't make it or in case I break up with her.

[Mycteria]

I add people as close friends when I want to get their notifications, like you said. She may just be checking up on him. Not because she likes him, but because she doesn't like him and wants to keep tabs on him since you guys are still friends. She did tell you that you shouldn't trust him and should end your friendship with him, yet you are still friends. If I were her I'd have probably done the same thing. But then again, she could be cheating. Who knows.

[friday3v]

Exactly. Who knows for sure, besides her. I feel like it could be a number of things, including what you just said Mycteria.

 

It doesn't necessarily mean that she is cheating on me. Maybe I'm naive and blind, but until it comes out for sure or until I know for sure. Then I'll trust that she isn't doing that and that she is committed to me. Here's to hoping...

[veggirl]

So if you think she is innocent and everything, what are you so depressed about?

[kaylan]

Why the hell are you friends with some dudes who kissed your girl on the cheek and said hed bang her? Thats no friend.

 

If I was you I would have already told him to back the hell off and if I heard about him being near my gf again there would be problems.

 

Dont be a scrub. You and your gf should cut him out of your life....youre only making your relationship drama by not being a man about this.

 

PS - You also gotta wonder how your behavior affects her respect for you. Id have a hard time being with a girl who could stay friends with some girl who made a huge pass at me. Id assume my gf was a poor judge of character or just didnt care that women through themselves at me. And if a girl didnt care that other women came onto me, Id feel she didnt really want me.

[friday3v]

This happened over a year ago. I was so enraged when it happened and I'm so resent not doing or saying something about it then. Do you think it's too late to text him or call him and tell him to back off my girlfriend and say that he is a ****ty person or something?

[changchewsoon]

If my friend did the same to my girlfriend, I will pop him in the face and he will no longer be my friend anymore.

 

The only part I couldn't figure out is why would your girlfriend designate him as a close friend in Facebook.

[morichu]

You're right about one thing. Girls that have been burned a lot in the past will keep these guys as safety nets. I don't know if she's cheating on you but if you guys ever have a break up, you already know where she'll be running

[Imajerk17]

You need to sit this girl down and have a talk with her about this guy--and why is he her one "close friend" on Facebook. And after that, you need to consider quarantining him for your lives.