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Posted
I tend to agree,i think the looks dont matter camp is usually from people who cant be picky about looks and dont have many options..people are as shallow as their options..

 

I hear some women say they dont fall for streotypical attractive guys and i assume its a defensive mechanism and for self preservation where that women doesnt think that type of guy would be into her anyway so she pretends that type of guy does not turn her on at all..

 

Ive heard the "i dont care for pretty boys" line tons of times and when a really good looking dude approaches that women she becomes smitten

 

I am going to repeat this part again because I think it's really important, I think it's my self confidence in myself that has enabled me to go for whatever man I had chemistry with rather than standard ideals of attractiveness. I think because I am comfortable with myself, I am able to date a wide variety of men that go beyond their physical looks. I have had amazing chemistry with both really attractive men and not stereotypically hot men. And if I was a less confident person in this regard, I would not have gone for the not stereotypically hot men at all. Because I would have been too worried about what other people think. But I don't care what people think and I go for the men that I have chemistry with. And that chemistry is often wrapped up in different packages.

 

I think a lot of people care about what other people thing. I use to care too much what others thought but I am learning more and more each day that I got to live my life the way I want to live it. And this has enabled me to have really great experiences with men that were not common in looks.

 

I naturally do have some qualities I am drawn too and that usually is a level of intelligence. I think in general, women just need one strong area in a man that he displays to spark her interest.

  • Like 1
Posted

I think it really comes down to who you hit it off with. Society has women trained to drool over big biceps and bustling six packs while for guy's it's super thin women with T and A. Yes, while you find those types attractive, it doesn't mean you may not find someone who doesn't have all that unattractive. A lot of society standards are pretty unrealistic and most people have some imperfections. I've seen plenty of "good looking" people with people most would consider "average" looking and their spouse doesn't need to be Brad Pitt attract them.

  • Like 1
Posted
And among my group of girlfriends, we might talk about men we find attractive but we all find different types of men attractive. And thank goodness we do or we might have had fights over a couple men if that was the case. My one friend likes stocky guys, I have another friend that likes Asian guys, and yet another that likes tall lanky guys. I have a friend that is a pretty Indian girl that married a short, white Italian.

 

It's not that I don't think looks matter to a point. It's that I found with myself that it has come down to chemistry. I have gone out with stereotypically hot men and I have gone out with unconventional looking men. I have been turned off by unconventional men and I have been turned off by stereotypically hot men too. So I know that for me, it's all about the chemistry. And chemistry isn't connected to phyiscal looks. And I think it is my confidence in myself that has enabled me to go for whatever man I felt something for and not let my attraction be dictated by society standards.

It must be said that guys don't find the same things attractive either - just like women.

  • Like 3
Posted
The BMI is inaccurate. If go by the BMI it will tell you that some men with sixpacks and in great shape are obese. This is obviously inaccurate.

A study that usess an grossly innacurate scale is invalidated by the innaccuracies.

 

Do you really think that if someone had 6pack abs that their own partner would incorrectly guess if they were overweight?

 

The study used people who where actual partners to rate their own partners. I do understand there is some question about how accurate BMI really is. And while I don't disagree that it can be questionable, I don't think it's so questionable if they were seeing a large pool of men underestimate their own weight while over estimating their partners.

Posted
I think it really comes down to who you hit it off with. Society has women trained to drool over big biceps and bustling six packs while for guy's it's super thin women with T and A. Yes, while you find those types attractive, it doesn't mean you may not find someone who doesn't have all that unattractive. A lot of society standards are pretty unrealistic and most people have some imperfections. I've seen plenty of "good looking" people with people most would consider "average" looking and their spouse doesn't need to be Brad Pitt attract them.

 

Those 'good looking' ppl usually fall in 2 cathegories, insecure or humble.

 

Figuring out who is who is fun. ;)

Posted
It must be said that guys don't find the same things attractive either - just like women.

 

 

This is DY's world

 

 

 

"All men want nothing but 5'7 120 LB blonde playmates with DDD tits and 23 inch waists. If they date anybody different, it's because they are settling and will just fantasize about the playmate anyways and be unsatisfied with their spouses

 

 

All women are not shallow at all and would date anybody as long as he's a nice person. Bodytype doesn't matter"

 

 

 

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Posted
Do you really think that if someone had 6pack abs that their own partner would incorrectly guess if they were overweight?

 

The study used people who where actual partners to rate their own partners. I do understand there is some question about how accurate BMI really is. And while I don't disagree that it can be questionable, I don't think it's so questionable if they were seeing a large pool of men underestimate their own weight while over estimating their partners.

 

No, for men the BMI will often label them "overweight" or "obese" when both the individual and the wife (and the doctor) will clearly see that he is of healthy weight--just very densely muscled.

 

The BMI scale judges my H to be "overweight", but he isn't. That study would put us in the category of inaccurately assessing his weight, based on BMI, but it is the BMI that is inaccurate for him.

  • Like 1
Posted
This is DY's world

 

"All men want nothing but 5'7 120 LB blonde playmates with DDD tits and 23 inch waists. If they date anybody different, it's because they are settling and will just fantasize about the playmate anyways and be unsatisfied with their spouses

 

 

All women are not shallow at all and would date anybody as long as he's a nice person. Bodytype doesn't matter"

 

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

That's your interpratation of my world. That however is not my world.

 

This is my world:

 

My World

Posted
men underestimate their own weight

 

The study said that men were underestimateing their own weight ACCORDING TO THE BMI, which is innacurate, especially for men.

 

So the men were saying they were not fat, but the BMI was saying otherwise. Who was realy wrong? I have already seen for my self what the BMI says is fat for men and what I saw was not fat at all.

Posted
This is DY's world

 

 

 

"All men want nothing but 5'7 120 LB blonde playmates with DDD tits and 23 inch waists. If they date anybody different, it's because they are settling and will just fantasize about the playmate anyways and be unsatisfied with their spouses

 

 

All women are not shallow at all and would date anybody as long as he's a nice person. Bodytype doesn't matter"

 

 

 

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

You're being unnecessarily combative today :confused:...

 

Anecdotes can always tell you a story, but how you interpret that story is important. I see anecdotes all the time that support everyone's theory in terms of dating. I find all types of women attractive - sure I have my preference, but they are fluid. And I've met women who are the same.

 

I also know a lot of shallow men, and a LOT of shallow women, who REALLY like the looks of the opposite sex.

  • Like 2
Posted

I don't think all men want a woman that looks like a model. On that note, my wife does amateur modeling and I am just an average dude. I personally do not find the anorexic model type to be attractive. I prefer a woman with curves.

  • Like 1
Posted
Yup and he is married to an average woman so even he is not that shallow.

To be fair, she was already a famous pop-star at the time, and considered to be decent-looking.

  • Like 2
Posted
To be fair, she was already a famous pop-star at the time, and considered to be decent-looking.

 

She is okay. She is way too skinny and only has one facial expression.

Posted (edited)
From what I see it's mainly women who preach the don't settle stuff like is the gospel rather than men. I see the never settle mentality in women more than I do in men.

 

Men really are not as shallow as many make us out to be.

 

It's the notion of being settled for in the first place. I can't imagine going for someone just because they're there (so that I can have a boyfriend or husband), let alone turning around and saying, "I'd have loved Christian Bale, but this was the best I could do." That's the way I took the first post in this thread: he may have said that men are perfectly happy to settle, but I don't want to be settled for. It's a poor choice of words that were later amended - fine.

 

Megan Fox is a good looking woman but I would never trade her for my wife and I think many men feel the same way.

 

I also believe there are women who think David Beckham and George Clooney are better than their husbands as well. Why is there such a one sided view of this?

 

You didn't settle, and you would never say that you did.

Edited by Anela
Posted
She is okay. She is way too skinny and only has one facial expression.

Not my type either, I preferred Scary Spice :love: (So did Eddie Murphy :D). But still......

 

he may have said that men are perfectly happy to settle, but I don't want to be settled for.

 

I don't think he meant that, although I can see why you thought that. I think it's that men may find some models attractive - however, they also find perfectly normal women attractive too.

  • Like 1
Posted
She is okay. She is way too skinny and only has one facial expression.

 

I agree, Victoria is way to skinny & has surgically enhanced herself, but come on man she still has eyes to die for.

Posted
Not my type either, I preferred Scary Spice :love: (So did Eddie Murphy :D). But still......

 

I was always fond of baby spice, and I just did a Google image search and I would tell you i still am. :love:

Posted
I agree, Victoria is way to skinny & has surgically enhanced herself, but come on man she still has eyes to die for.

 

Some photos she is a bit on the skinny side, but I think she still looks pretty fab:

 

http://i2.listal.com/image/1228235/936full-victoria-beckham.jpg

http://img.ibtimes.com/www/data/images/full/2012/08/13/296107-victoria-beckham-posh-spice.jpg

http://images.paraorkut.com/img/pics/images/v/victoria_beckham-5927.jpg

 

PS.

no lesb

  • Like 1
Posted

Nobody wants to be settled for but I do hear more women feeling that they settled if they don't have some fantasy ideal of what the perfect partner is. Maybe they are just more vocal about it than men are but I hear this never settle stuff from women more often.

Posted
My issues from media and porn is that we celebrate a very twisted view of women's body to the point of body dysmorphia. It's not that I think it's "wrong" to like big breasts or whatever else. I think it's wrong how overly focused we are on such things to the point of creating body-dysmorphic ideals that I think a lot of men AND women buy into.

 

Who is "we"?

 

If men find certain body types attractive, why is it such a concern for you? IF you're concerned with women and their well being, with issues like body dysmorphic disorder and anorexia (both of which, are mental illnesses), why not volunteer your time at a mental health facility that treats these disorders.

 

Just look at how many topics on here crop up about what men want from women in terms of their bodies vs what men may want from a woman regarding her other qualities. I don't see a great amount of knowledge from a lot of guys here that know themselves enough to know what they would need in a relationship that went beyond sex and I don't see much of a desire for them to want to explore that because they are so focused on women's bodies over anything else.

 

If a certain body image is of preference to a man, again, what is it to you? Not all men, expect their women to be rail thin. Heck, my sister has become quite skinny, and her husband has said that he prefers her with a little meat on her bones and is concerned that it is unhealthy for her to be that skinny.

 

Each of us wants to feel accepted, valued and appreciated for who we are. And of course it can certainly feel overwhelming, when the media portrays women in a certain light and there is a ridiculously high standard/bar that is set to look a certain way. It brings a level of pressure with it, IF we allow it to. That is why I firmly believe, "we" must work on our own core strengths and what makes us happy, versus dictating to others what they should/shouldn't like and/or be happy with. The media does a good job of that already, wouldn't you agree?

  • Like 2
Posted (edited)

On the real, we all know both genders have their difficulties. It's futile to go back and forth on which shallow gender is more represented here. I'm emphatetic to what women have to deal with through society. At the end of the day, attraction varies a lot among people from both genders, so it's all good. All men aren't shallow when it comes to looks, all women aren't shallow when it comes to looks; all men don't need a thin model like chick with big breasts; all women don't need a man with a 12 inch dick and a 6 pack. Attraction varies.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Response to deleted posts
  • Like 2
Posted
snug.bunny

Who is "we"?

 

Society.

 

If men find certain body types attractive, why is it such a concern for you?

 

Why shouldn't it be my concern??

 

 

IF you're concerned with women and their well being, with issues like body dysmorphic disorder and anorexia (both of which, are mental illnesses), why not volunteer your time at a mental health facility that treats these disorders.

 

How do you know I don't do some kind of voluenteer work in this regard already Snug? Why do you take issue with me discussing any topic I want?

 

 

If a certain body image is of preference to a man, again, what is it to you?

 

What isn't it to me? Why shouldn't I talk about it? Why shouldn't I consider how men are thinking about women?

 

Not all men, expect their women to be rail thin. Heck, my sister has become quite skinny, and her husband has said that he prefers her with a little meat on her bones and is concerned that it is unhealthy for her to be that skinny.

 

Do you think this should stop a discussion on women and their bodies and how men relate to women and their bodies Snug?

 

 

Each of us wants to feel accepted, valued and appreciated for who we are. And of course it can certainly feel overwhelming, when the media portrays women in a certain light and there is a ridiculously high standard/bar that is set to look a certain way. It brings a level of pressure with it, IF we allow it to.

 

The thing is, I TOTALLY agree with this. However, I find a huge disconnect in the way we expect women to deal with this issue vs men. Above you said, "what is it to me" if men like certain bodies or whatever. Am I suppose to ignore how men are relating to women and their bodies and ignore the messages men get? I am suppose to rise above it but accept that men conform to it? Indulge in it? Support it?

 

I don't disagree with your comments here. I don't think it's fair when we tell women to rise above the "ridiculously high standard/bar" that is set but we tell women when men indulge in that "ridiculously high standard/bar" of women's bodies, to accept it or not even think about it.

 

 

That is why I firmly believe, "we" must work on our own core strengths and what makes us happy, versus dictating to others what they should/shouldn't like and/or be happy with. The media does a good job of that already, wouldn't you agree?

 

I see, so we shouldn't have any discussion on this topic (or any topic for that matter) because we should worry about ourselves and since the media already does this in spades, what's the point in talking about how the media does this in an attempt to counter some of hte harm it may do. :confused:

 

The reason we all come to this board is to talk. Talk about what we think, feel, experience..yada yada yada. I am totally with you on working on ourselves. That is a life long journey. I just don't see how that negates a discussion on any topic, especially one on looks or ideals. I also don't understand why we so often ask women to rise above the stereotypes in the media yet we justify when men indulge in it. Can you not see the imbalance that causes?

 

If this isn't a topic that interests you Snug, I understand. I just don't get dictating that others shouldn't talk about it under the notion of working our selves and the fact that media distorts imagery so we shouldn't further acknolwedge that distortion through discussion. That doesn't make sense to me.

Posted
I'm not a true misandrist? Then what am I since everyone here loves to tell me what and who I am. A fake misandrist?

 

As for having a one-sided view of things, don't you think you have a one sided view of things?

 

I do but I admit it and I genuinely do try to override my worst instincts. I just defended you and said I don't think you are a misandrist so why are you taking offense?

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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