LittleJ Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 So I've been dating an amazing man for a few weeks now, and although we've already slept together, this coming weekend will be our first official overnight. I'm excited and nervous about it. He has this tiny studio with like a foot between the bathroom and his bed! I'm certain I'm not alone when it comes to the embarrassment of "using the bathroom" and everything that goes along with that. Ugh! And then the "morning after" and matted hair, crusty, puffy eyes, morning breath, grogginess. Just wondering how you all handle it, tips, feedback from all genders on this topic. And should I pack a bag? ...anxious.
yongyong Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Just run the water when you are in the bathroom. Unless you wear a very heavy make up that will make you a different person when it's washed away, you don't have to worry about anything else
zanesfan Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Brush your teeth and gargle before bed, take a shower, wipe off the makeup too. I would bring a little small bag for clothes and other toiletries. Im sure he will understand. Have fun!
Author LittleJ Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 This anxiety took me six months to sleep at my former fiances condo. It really is an anxiety until one day I really had to go number 2 and it was eithere chit myself or overcome my fear. I stayed the night. It made our relationship stronger, even though this was years ago and we didnt get married. I'm not surprised! It's kinda funny in a way, since we all do it, but something about making it clearly seen and heard is, well, anxiety provoking! Did you both have a conversation about it? I understand how it can bring couples closer, but it's just a high hurdle to jump and exposes the often taboo side of human function. It's a vulnerable position to be caught in. Maybe the best way to deal with it is to de-stigmatize it? Maybe make some jokes, be casual about it? I like the discussion. Would love to continue to hear feedback.
ivalm Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 I'm not surprised! It's kinda funny in a way, since we all do it, but something about making it clearly seen and heard is, well, anxiety provoking! Did you both have a conversation about it? I understand how it can bring couples closer, but it's just a high hurdle to jump and exposes the often taboo side of human function. It's a vulnerable position to be caught in. Maybe the best way to deal with it is to de-stigmatize it? Maybe make some jokes, be casual about it? I like the discussion. Would love to continue to hear feedback. Frankly, as a guy, I've never seen it as an issue. I rent a small studio. While my bathroom is separated by a corridor from the main room I don't think that really makes a difference. We all know how people function. We all know women wear make up. We are all, you know, adults here. So just be happy that you are progressing in your relationship and stop stressing over these non-issues. I wouldn't make any jokes about it, or talk about it, or really even think about it because you're making a tempest in a teapot.
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Trust me, he's thinking more about the sex than what your hair and makeup will look like in the morning and how you taking a crap will be like. Guys don't care or think about these things when you are coming over, plus unless he's a teen we already have a good idea what you look like without make-up if not completely. All you need is to poop when the tv is on or the garbage disposal is going off! Don't eat anything that will make you bloated and give you gassy, he might not appreciate the farts and poopsicle you're dropping in the toilet but just put some tissue down there and flush it fast if you think its going to smell like Jurassic park! Other than that, who cares...he's thinking about your naked body and vagina...he's not going to give much a damn about anything else right now, just wash your mouth out in the morning and brush your teeth, wash your eyes if you're that worried about it, but really we aren't checking and who cares with a naked woman in our bed. 2
MrCastle Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 This idea of women taking a number 2 is a myth anyway. They don't really do that. 4
johan Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 When a woman stays over at my house, I make it clear that she can take all her bodily functions down the street to the gas station. I don't need that kind of thing going on here. And that allows me to hang on to the idea that she doesn't really do those things. 5
veryhappy Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 I'm a woman. You can say "Hey I need some privacy in the bathroom, can you put some music/turn the TV on and go to the kitchen?" or whatever room is further away. Run the fan and he'll already know not to go straight in. Magic kept intact. No need to joke, no need to explain more. For a bag, if you have one of those large handbags maybe you could fit everything in there. He'll be equally uncharming in the morning, probably more than you. Good luck.
Emilia Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 One of my exes used to have a small portable battery operated radio in the bathroom, we used to put it on all the time even during showers, etc and it took the embarrassment factor away. Something to consider perhaps
veggirl Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 I would bring some make up remover pads and stick them in your purse so that you can wipe off your make up before bed and avoid waking up looking like a raccoon. As for matted hair and whatnot--ponytail. If you brush your teeth before bed your morning breath won't be too offensive. Not a big deal, hopefully you can sleep well! With the bathroom situation..ehh well hopefully you don't have to poop.
yongyong Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 What's up with this American women's ego? Do you feel like you have to fart in front of people to prove you are as equal as men? Are you one of those feminist woman who doesn't take care of themselves? Nice women never fart ? GTFO of here Pierre. Who are you to dictate how a woman should move her bowels.
veggirl Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 When a woman stays over at my house, I make it clear that she can take all her bodily functions down the street to the gas station. I don't need that kind of thing going on here. And that allows me to hang on to the idea that she doesn't really do those things. Quick story. Apparently once in convo early on with my BF, I mentioned that I will not ever be one of those couples that poops etc in front of one another. I meant like, he better not come take a s.hit in my bathroom when I am brushing my teeth, ya know? He thought I meant we don't poop when we are in the same vicinity (like he's not allowed to poop at my house, period). For the first like 8 months of our relationship, he would leave and go to the gas station, fast food places, etc to poop. I never caught on until one night at like 10:30 we were getting ready for bed and he suddenly INSISTED he go get a taco. I was annoyed and when he got back he had no taco. I was like where is your taco that is so important? and then he confessed he had been pooping and that was a cover story. We were at HIS apartment and he left to go to taco bell to poop. Poor guy 1
FitChick Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 This thread is hilarious. I just realized all of the past few men I've dated have had two bathrooms (or one full bathroom and one lavatory in another part of the house) so this problem has never come up. Now I'm panicking. What will I do if I meet someone new with only one bathroom? Hmm, maybe schedule a high colonic earlier in the day and eat sparingly afterward...
xxoo Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 1. Turn on fan or crack window. 2. Start the shower (he'll assume the fan is for the shower) 3. Poop, flush. 4. Take a shower. Use lots of scented products.
It's Just Me Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 Humans fart, and they poop. But yes, I was nervous about my first night with my boyfriend, because, well... I'm regular and poop in the morning after coffee. I also held in any gas for the longest time around him. Then, one morning, after some lovins... he got up and (I thought) went outside. I had been holding in a rather generous amount of gas, and decided to relax and let it out (finally). After three seconds of continuous music and relief, I hear laughter coming from the other room. I was mortified! He comes back into the room, still laughing, clutching his gut like he's going to die. I started to laugh as well, and all he said was, "Baby, you were holding that one in, I can tell. I don't want you to do that just because you're embarrassed to make noise. Let it out! I don't care! I still love you! Relax!" We are now a year in. We still laugh (almost until we cry) about that morning. I don't go out of my way to make noise, but if it slips out, so be it. He just winks at me. No, I will never poop in front of him, nor will I allow him to do so while I'm in the shower (unless there's major food poisoning going on). I think there is still a polite balance that can be struck, but there's no need to get all twisted up about it. Guys are more open about that stuff than women are, honestly. We ladies need to get over it. 2
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