robertdawson Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I frequent a restaurant about once a week. I talked with a waitress (note that she never actually waited on me) a couple times and then the third time I was there she deliberately went around the long way and stopped at my table to ask me if I went to the local university, what my major was, etc. Next time I went I asked my waitress if she could tell her I wanted to say hey. She came out and stood next to the table and talked to me for like 10 minutes and at the end of this I asked if she wanted to grab dinner. She replied, shocked, that "her boyfriend wouldn't like that" and scurried off. I wait about a month. There had been a girl who worked in the gift shop of the restaurant that I had talked to 3 or 4 times (all friendly, joking around, etc.) before I ever talked to the waitress. So I kept talking to her when I went and about encounter 7 or 8 I asked her if she wanted to grab lunch. She acted fine, said sure and I got her number. I call it two days later to find out it is a fake. So anyway, there is another waitress at this restaurant that has waited on me a couple times, but she went out of her way once to come by my table when she was not my waitress to have small talk with me (how early she had to go into work, etc.). On a side note, while she was doing this the first waitress that rejected me was actually my waitress (I was strictly business, no joking, no nothing with her) and while she was off doing something else I noticed her intently watching my conversation with this new waitress. So the question is: is it ok to ask yet another waitress out after I've already asked out one waitress and one gift shop worker there (about a month's time in between them?) I honestly have no shame and don't care what any of the people there think of me, but I don't want to creep people out and be the guy who has to be seated in a special place because all the waitresses are freaked out by me (assuming I even kept going there). Also, who knows who these people may know... coming off as desperate could backfire later on.
espec10001 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I frequent a restaurant about once a week. I talked with a waitress (note that she never actually waited on me) a couple times and then the third time I was there she deliberately went around the long way and stopped at my table to ask me if I went to the local university, what my major was, etc. Next time I went I asked my waitress if she could tell her I wanted to say hey. She came out and stood next to the table and talked to me for like 10 minutes and at the end of this I asked if she wanted to grab dinner. She replied, shocked, that "her boyfriend wouldn't like that" and scurried off. I wait about a month. There had been a girl who worked in the gift shop of the restaurant that I had talked to 3 or 4 times (all friendly, joking around, etc.) before I ever talked to the waitress. So I kept talking to her when I went and about encounter 7 or 8 I asked her if she wanted to grab lunch. She acted fine, said sure and I got her number. I call it two days later to find out it is a fake. So anyway, there is another waitress at this restaurant that has waited on me a couple times, but she went out of her way once to come by my table when she was not my waitress to have small talk with me (how early she had to go into work, etc.). On a side note, while she was doing this the first waitress that rejected me was actually my waitress (I was strictly business, no joking, no nothing with her) and while she was off doing something else I noticed her intently watching my conversation with this new waitress. So the question is: is it ok to ask yet another waitress out after I've already asked out one waitress and one gift shop worker there (about a month's time in between them?) I honestly have no shame and don't care what any of the people there think of me, but I don't want to creep people out and be the guy who has to be seated in a special place because all the waitresses are freaked out by me (assuming I even kept going there). Also, who knows who these people may know... coming off as desperate could backfire later on. Waitresses are nice to customers because they want bigger tips. Nothing more. Don't waste your time in that customer/waitress dynamic. It's $$$, nothing else. 1
ls32ssibm Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Pull an Office Space. Go in, ask her, don't care about the outcome.
CC12 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I honestly have no shame and don't care what any of the people there think of me... Then ask her out. ...but I don't want to creep people out and be the guy who has to be seated in a special place because all the waitresses are freaked out by me Simply asking out three women who work in the same place probably wouldn't creep anyone out on its own. If you acted creepy to any of them, you are already known as "that creepy customer." But by asking out so many of the same group of women, you will be known as "that guy who keeps asking out female staff" and some servers might roll their eyes when they see you come in. If you're okay with that, go for it.
TaraMaiden Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Many years ago, I used to work in a restaurant, and a guy did just as you're doing. The Manager barred him. 1
pink_sugar Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Hmm, I honestly think it's tacky to hit on someone while at work. Asking her out out or just maybe 'let's grab a coffee sometime' type of out?
MuscleCarFan Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I would advise against it simply because there is that possibility that you could get kicked out for harassment (possibly) and that would be mighty embarrassing. 1
pink_sugar Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Then ask her out. I agree with CC12. If you don't care what anyone thinks of you, you don't really need advice and you wouldn't have posted here. Instead of trying the dinner or lunch tactic that is more direct and puts them on the spot, you could casually say "Maybe we could grab a cup of coffee whenever you have some free time?" More indirect, but gets the message across without making them uncomfortable or putting them on the spot.
MrCastle Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Waitresses are also known as hired guns. They're nice to you because they're edging for a tip. It's not coincidence the bulk of people hired to serve you food are young attractive females. I, along with a few of my friends have, in the past, slipped our numbers to different waitresses who we thought were showing interest, and never got called back, ever. I remember a story from a guy who used to date a waitress saying his girl would come home with like 10-15 pieces of paper in her pocket and just dump them all out. You can ask her out, but just go in with it knowing more often than not, it won't work out. 2
EasyHeart Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Like others have said, waitresses are friendly because that's their job; don't confuse it with romantic interest. They also get asked out A LOT. My girlfriend is a waitress and gets hit on at least 3 times every day. (though that's how I met her, so it does work every now and then. ) The other waitress is watching you intently because the women there are scared of you. They are talking about how creepy you are and watching out for each other by watching you and making sure that none of them are ever alone with you. 4
veggirl Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I think you should go for it. As long as you aren't harrassing them (doesn't sound like you are) I don't see the problem. Banning someone from a restaurant for asking a girl out? :rolleyes: Talk about overreaction. as long as you take "no" for an answer (if that is the answer) and don't bug them, what's the problem? Sure waitresses are nice for tips but that doesn't mean they are ONLY nice to get tips. Fk I've had waitresses slip MY boyfriends their numbers! 1
Author robertdawson Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 The women there are scared of me and think I'm creepy? Geez, I make friendly conversation a number of times with a couple girls and ask them out over a month apart and they think that? That seems pretty harsh, given I haven't even flirted with any others and don't act pissed when I see the others. I certainly didn't say anything that could be construed as any sort of harassment. Whatever, I guess I'll not bother with this other girl.
LC1976 Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Don't waste your time. I worked in restaurants for eight years. Restaurant folks, for the most part, date restaurant folk. It’s a very different lifestyle then 98% of the world.
carhill Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 she deliberately went around the long way and stopped at my table to ask me if I went to the local university, what my major was, etc. Answer 'I'd love to tell you over dinner'. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. The sentence is free. Be sure to do it before settling the bill
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