Allforlove Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 So I am reaching out for advice and already have an idea of what I should probably do but here goes.... I recently left my ex after 5 years of being with him and also bearing a child with him. My ex was always the guy who did whatever he wanted and no one could tell him otherwise. He never showed me any love or affection and always felt as though he was leaving me in the dark. When my daughter was conceived he bailed on me for a weeks at a time and I had no idea where he was. After she was born I did EVERYTHING by myself. Whether it was financially or caring for our daughter. He never lifted a finger to help me around the house, nothing. In the mist of everything and us separating and getting back together several times, I got close to one of his friends. Initially it was very innocent, he was someone I liked talking to about my ex and getting advice from. After sometime the conversations became more intense and one drunken night we met up and it started from there. From then on we have been in contact and spending time with each other.(it wasn't always for sex) This has been going in now for about a year and we have been through so much together and we've both realized that we are in love with each other. SO this is where my situation comes into place my ex is still good friends with this guy.. And he believes in respect and me being he's friends baby mama is a no no. He always tells me how much he loves me and hates our situation so much and wants to be with me, he just cant do that to his boy. We have tried on many different occasion to stop all contact but it never works out we always end up back together and back where we ended up.. I try to tell him that I understand how caught up in the middle he is and would do anything for him. I myself have never wanted something, someone so bad in my life and now I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and know that I should just walk away and start over. But I hate hate the fact that he is so right for me in so many different ways that if I give up I will always regret never knowing what Could Have Been.... It scares the **** out me.. quite frankly. Please help... :(
january2011 Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 This has been going in now for about a year and we have been through so much together and we've both realized that we are in love with each other. SO this is where my situation comes into place my ex is still good friends with this guy.. And he believes in respect and me being he's friends baby mama is a no no. He always tells me how much he loves me and hates our situation so much and wants to be with me, he just cant do that to his boy. We have tried on many different occasion to stop all contact but it never works out we always end up back together and back where we ended up. Hold on. This has been going on for a year. Why the sudden guilt now? It's time this guy sh*ts or gets off the pot. He needs to come clean with your ex and just tell him that you and he are together. He may lose his friendship, but if he's going to keep coming back to you, he needs to be honest. Particularly because you have a child with your ex and this guy is presumably spending a lot of time with your daughter. Otherwise, how long do you think that you can both keep up the pretence?
sweetheart5381 Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Hold on. This has been going on for a year. Why the sudden guilt now? It's time this guy sh*ts or gets off the pot. He needs to come clean with your ex and just tell him that you and he are together. He may lose his friendship, but if he's going to keep coming back to you, he needs to be honest. Particularly because you have a child with your ex and this guy is presumably spending a lot of time with your daughter. Otherwise, how long do you think that you can both keep up the pretence? Agreed. I am currently dating my ex's best friend. He has no concerns for the best friend taking offence and neither do I. If the ex is an adult he will get over it, just like the relationship. As an adult you come to realize that you are responsible for your own happiness and no one else's. You and your ex are thru and you have a chance at happiness with another man. It just so happens it is your ex's friend... no big deal. I agree wholeheartedly, sh*t or get off the pot.
Later82012 Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 So he has no issues using you for his emotional and sexual needs, but he remembers his friend when you want to get serious? Nice.
Author Allforlove Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Thanks everyone... I feel the same way... Why the guilt now... Probably because we are so much more serious about our relationship than before. And I feel he is just being a coward and caring to much about what other will think rather than following his heart and being happy. It's so annoying because he says I'm so right for him and that he knows we'd be so happy together.... So I'm at a point of its now or never make the decision...
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