anaesthetist Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Hi everyone Very glad I found this forum. In advance, I'd like to apologise - this may be quite lengthy... I've been seeing a guy now for 3 weeks, the relationship being made official today. He has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) - I believe this is relevant, and should be kept in mind when you read my post. He does not take his medication for it. Anyway, I met him and he's not my usual type...But my gosh, I was truly mesmorised by him! Fast forward to last night, and we were practically in a relationship. Throughout getting to know him, he made it very clear he'd never cheat "It would make me feel to bad, I just couldn't do it" he said. So, last night we went out to a club. He was drinking alcoholic drinks which are loaded with sugar (not good for ADHD) and quite a high alcohol content. As a medical student, I know that alcohol and ADHD generally do not mix, especially the sugary crappy ones. So, towards the end of the night - and quite a bit of alcohol later, I saw him kissing another guy. (We're a gay couple). I was in shock, and got overcame by a wave of nausea - I just couldn't believe he did that! Although, alcohol is mind-altering and his ADHD will make him even more prone to it, I was just so angry. I left right away. I had about 20 calls from him, and when I finally answered he was trying to say "he kissed me but I didn't kiss him"... I'm sorry people but there is no such thing as "he kissed me but I didnt kiss him"... And I saw it happen. I told him, I don't want to get into a relationship with a guy I can't trust. Nobody wants that. After speaking to his friends, they assured me he didn't cheat in his last relationship... So that's a plus? After apologising, he asked me out and, I thought I'll give him another chance. So we're "officially" in a relationship now. I have felt nauseus and very anxious all day after seeing last night. I just want your opinions - is this guy a bum?? Is there anyway I could perhaps ... "test" to see if he's going to be faithful or not? Thankfully, I don't want to specialise in Psychology!!! The other problem is the fact he doesn't take his ADHD medicine. If he did, it would make him an entirely different ... perhaps more reliable person... Sorry for the long post, and thank you & God bless for reading it x
venusianx13 Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 I don't think you're being fair to yourself. This relationship started off on such a bad note, and now you're subjecting yourself to emotional distress due to the anxiety this new untrustworthy fellow is causing you. As much as you may like him, there are too many red flags, IMO. Be fair to yourself. You already know you cannot trust him, you saw evidence of that. I mean, for one, why did he allow another man the opportunity to kiss him if he's with you? Two, if the other man initiated the kiss, why did he allow it to continue? There really is no viable excuse here. You can do better than this. Don't torture yourself. Best of luck.
Author anaesthetist Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 That's what the people who I've asked have said :-/ All day I've tried to put myself in his situation, and I can't find any suitable or viable excuse to justify it... A VERY weak argument would be his alcohol consumption, but that's grasping at straws... I may give it a few days and see how it goes... But if we assume he's going to be like what he was last night, this "relationship" (and I use the word losely) will not last. Thanks for your quick reply
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