Fitnerd Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 So today marks the 8th day of NC with my "ex". I put brackets because I don't know if I can even call her my EX. For anyone curious, here's my story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/338868-my-first-love-my-first-crush-depressed I've never not talked to this girl for more than 6 days straight since December so I thought that by the 1-week mark, I'd be feeling a bit better. Don't get me wrong, It's not the same as the beginning (I'm in a far away country now, left after the "BU" as I thought the distance would help me cope) but I feel particularly ****ty today. I miss her a lot, I'm sooo tempted to break NC but the only thing holding me back is the fact that she hasn't made contact either. Every time I listen to a new song, I feel the urge of telling her about it, just like before. I just felt I needed to vent today... Any advice on how to stay strong would be appreciated!
Hornachero Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 In my experience, traveling immediately after a BU has pros and cons. On the positive side: you are far away from all the things that remind you of your ex and have no chance of running into him or her. That is a lot already - especially during the first days when we make one million random connexions between our environment and our ex! Of course, going away doesn't eliminate them but it does make them more difficult. On the negative side: you may be far from your support network which is absolutely crucial in the first days. And being solo somewhere far, is alienating at times. So speak to new people if you can, go out, have fun any way you can. Even if you feel like crumbling down and dying, you owe it to yourself to keep fighting to feel better. And it will get better!
dinosaur Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Um... it sounds to me like you should just leave this girl out of your life. She's playing both you and your friend and you're dumb for doing that to your friend. Why on earth would you want anyone like that? Also, 1 week of no contact is not going to make everything better. It's not magic, it's just letting go of attachment and that takes time.
Author Fitnerd Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 In my experience, traveling immediately after a BU has pros and cons. On the positive side: you are far away from all the things that remind you of your ex and have no chance of running into him or her. That is a lot already - especially during the first days when we make one million random connexions between our environment and our ex! Of course, going away doesn't eliminate them but it does make them more difficult. On the negative side: you may be far from your support network which is absolutely crucial in the first days. And being solo somewhere far, is alienating at times. So speak to new people if you can, go out, have fun any way you can. Even if you feel like crumbling down and dying, you owe it to yourself to keep fighting to feel better. And it will get better! I'm sorry for not specifying in this post, but the country where I am now is where my family and high school friends reside. And almost all of them are there for me. I go to college in a different country, again, sorry for the confusion.
Author Fitnerd Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 Um... it sounds to me like you should just leave this girl out of your life. She's playing both you and your friend and you're dumb for doing that to your friend. Why on earth would you want anyone like that? Also, 1 week of no contact is not going to make everything better. It's not magic, it's just letting go of attachment and that takes time. I know, trust me, I know what I did is wrong... This was the first girl I loved and I wasn't thinking of the consequences... After all that, I cut off ties with him too as I couldn't even look him in the eyes anymore. And I have no idea why, but after all she did to me, I still don't hate her or anything, I'm just sad that things ended like they did and I won't ever see her or talk to her again.
dinosaur Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 She would probably honestly love for you to contact her again because she loves the attention. Even if she had left her boyfriend for you, I bet not long after that she would have been seeing him again. What she did by breaking up with you is called a favor. Go out there and do productive things, have fun, and live your life. This girl was not worth it.
Author Fitnerd Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 She would probably honestly love for you to contact her again because she loves the attention. Even if she had left her boyfriend for you, I bet not long after that she would have been seeing him again. What she did by breaking up with you is called a favor. Go out there and do productive things, have fun, and live your life. This girl was not worth it. That's what I keep telling myself, but reading how you put it kinda makes it more real. I just wished I found this forum long ago... I would've run away long ago.
dinosaur Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 If I were you, I would honestly confess to my friend what happened. I mean, I would want to know if my significant other was doing this to me. Seems cruel.
Author Fitnerd Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 If I were you, I would honestly confess to my friend what happened. I mean, I would want to know if my significant other was doing this to me. Seems cruel. I know, I tried, wrote a letter and everything (to read to him, not send it) but I couldn't do that to her. Yes, I'm stupid but I thought that her relationship isn't my business anymore, and I should just disappear.
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