proceed with caution Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 So, my girlfriend of 1 1/2 yrs went on a cruise and hung out and kissed another man for the last 2 days of the cruise, maybe a total of 10 times for those 2 days. When she got backed she told me what she did and says that is all she did. Shes hoping that we can get over this and move on. Im finding it real hard though to do that and called it off. However, weve been speaking about what happened and shes asking for a second chance. Im not sure if i can do that and need to know, as a man, what is the correct thing to do? PLEASE HELP!!!
RomanceLow Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Tough choice dude... As I see this you need to evaluate your relationship... By her kissing another man she probably had doubts about your relationship... Yet, she did tell you what happened... From personal experience that takes guts... At least she was honest about it,.. In life you don't appreciate what you have until you lose it... Maybe after a quick moment of cheating she realized how great you are... Or on the other hand if you take her back she might think your gullible and do it again... Real tough choice,,, just look back and evaluate your relationship and ask yourself if she has ever done anything in the past that broke your trust or hurt you... Only you know the answer to this... I wish you well... Love is blind... See past through it
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 It's over...and cmon just kissed him ten times and nothing more? only you would believe that and nothing more. And what was she doing to forget ten times anyway if that's her story? she forgot about you 10 times in a row and never had you crossed her mind? Just let her go, she admitted to cheating but she's covering up and hiding details and she doesn't seem that into you...she doesn't want to leave you and hurt your feelings, because mainly casanova is gone and out of the picture..you think if this guy wasn't down the street she might think differently or was a real prospect? or was she just so disconnected from reality on a cruise that she felt like anything could go? ultimately it shows where she stands and how she feels in the relationship, and honestly you sound way too nice and forgiving to handle this kind of a woman. You sound like just another case of a nice guy being manipulated by an attention whore.
road Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Who counts anything past the first kiss? Ask WGF was that ten kiss' or ten makeout sessions. Then schedule a polygraph test for WGF.
road Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Why did she go on vacation without you? Bad sign long term relationship and having separate vacations.
GLDheart Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Cheaters when admitting things, usually take the real truth and then back it down a few steps. So if she admitted to "A LOT of kissing", the real truth is a few notches worse than that. Look at from your point of view. If you made out with a girl over the course of a vacation, you'd be a wuss to not ratchet up the heat. In fact, the pressure of the trip ending would REALLY make it hot! Your girl wanted a vacation that she would always remember. I say you now take action that she will never forget.
Author proceed with caution Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 First off, thanks to everyone who posted a comment. I guess all of you are right in what you have commented on and that is why i had taken the initial step of calling it off. It is a tough choice, but one that needs to be done. To answer a few questions though, she did not go by herself I mean, she went without me, but it was a family trip that is why I was not in the picture. And as far as if believe her that it was just a 2 day intimate makeout session, I really nor truly will I ever know as all of you stated. However, I did believe her that is all it was. Regardless, I do not think I can take her back or forgive her for that. Once again, thanks to all involved in your input. It has shed a clearer picture of what needs to be done.
Madman81 Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Everybody knows what's acceptable and unacceptable in a relationship. There are a few grey areas; making out with a third person isn't one of them. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody does, or has done, stupid or thoughtless things in the heat of the moment. Absolutely, they shouldn't do those things. But the best indicator of somebody's character isn't what they do in the heat of the moment, but whether or not they do the same thing again after being able to reflect on their actions. You're describing a two-day makeout session. That's bad enough, in my view; it means that your GF made out with the guy, and had many opportunities after the first time, over the next two days, to think about what she was doing and decide to stop doing it, because of her commitment to you. She chose to continue it. Thus it was no longer a "mistake". And I agree with the others -- there is more that happened than she's admitting to. I'd bet vital parts of my anatomy on that. Cheaters rarely give the whole story -- they enter damage control mode, and tell you only what they figure you might find out through other sources. The trust between the two of you is broken. It's said that trust takes years to build and seconds to destroy. The question for you is whether or not it's worth investing more time with her, now that she's betrayed your trust. Only you can answer that. Good luck mang...
Darren Steez Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 an innocent kiss maybe a mistake but a two day session? The fact she went back time and time again,willfully knowing she was cheating and giving in to her desires means there can be no way back, that would always sit in the back of my mind. Be strong buddy, you are worth more and deserve to be treated with respect but that is disrespect of the highest order
Author proceed with caution Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 A whole lotta thanks to all who shared their opinions on this thread, but most of all to "Darren Steez" and "Madman81". You guys gave in-depth opinions and made me realize that it is true, a kiss is bad but not that bad if u understand what u did and stopped it when it happened. But to continue it for 2 whole days and then realize "what am i doing?" its complete BS! I initially broke it off and it is still off however, as I said, weve been on speaking terms, but i believe that I will not be speaking to her again. This is something that cannot be fixed. It went too far and it made irreparable harm. I now know what needs to be done! Thanks once again to ALL involved and best wishes!
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