Future7 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Hello everyone. I am hurting very badly, I have lost my girlfriend of two years. Please bear with me for the story. I was absolute best friends with my girlfriend for about a year before we starting going out. I helped her through an entire break up she went through and realized that I wanted to be with her. The summer after that school year we remained friends but she went back to her ex. The following school year, our junior year in high school, she left her boyfriend to be with me because she couldn't not have me in her life. I treated her like gold and did so much for her. I treated her better than anyone before has treated her. And she knew it. The relationship was pretty strong for about 8 months and then some things started to happen. First her old ex started to make contact again with her. At this point she distanced herself from me and said she diden't know what she wanted. We were going to go on a break but we ended up staying together and getting stronger. Next one of her friends admitted to me she really liked me and wanted me. I felt horrible to know this but stayed true to my girlfriend. I never told her this. We went to a small school and the drama would have been severe. That following summer I was actually very good friends with Mike, the boyfriend of the girl who used to want me. Mike told me that his girlfriend told him I made sexual contact with her at a party, and cheated. I told him that is such a lie and that it's not true. He did not believe me but I thought it was insignifigent because I didn't do a thing. This summer also yielded another test to our relationship. A friend of mine texted my girlfriend acting like a guy she worked with. I was with him at the time and he thought it was funny. I asked him to stop but it got worse. He was actually flirting with her but also asked her to cheat. She said she was not a cheater but did flirt back the entire time. That entire night ruined my summer as I thought we had a good relationship. That week she distanced herself from me and at the end of the week I went to her house expecting to break up, but she convinced me it was worth staying together. So we did. Skipping to the summer after senior year because it is the most important part, I went to several parties at my friends house. There are many girls who went to these parties but I was always taken so I never ever thought about cheating nor did any girls try to make moves on me. I told my friend Mike about this, and he actually told his girlfriend that I was cheating on my girlfriend. The summer was going very good until it hit time for college talk. And we both knew we didn't want to talk about it. We are only going to colleges 1 hour away and I was committed, but her not so much. We took a break for a week however nothing changed. We still acted like a couple. A week ago At her grad party Mike's girlfriend told a group of my own girlfriends friends I cheated on her. They in turn told her, and she accused me which I denied. She was sorry and said lets put that behind us which I did. However the following week she distanced herself once again from me. I knew what was about to happen. That Friday, or 3 days ago, I told my girlfriend we needed to figure this out. She asked me again if I cheated and I told her no. She told me her friends all hated me and told her I cheated. I did not. I swear. We broke up. She however told me she went to a dance club the night before with two of her friends, drank some Alcohol and grinded on four guys. She also gave two of the trashy guys her number. It may seem I am defending her but she was pressured by her two friends. She told me we were on a break so it was not cheating. At this point I am heartbroken. She is my first love but I also saw so much left for us. I want to still be with her but I want her to know I did not cheat on her. If anything I feel we still can rekindle down the road. But let me list some facts. The girl who wanted me to cheat on my girlfriend with ultimately broke us up because of the lies she spread. I would be willing to take her back. She texted me the day after we broke up and asked me if I was going to her cousins birthday party that day. WTF I know but all I replied with was a no. Ever since then it has been no contact but she did like a picture of mine on facebook. I want to contact her so bad. I will do anything at this point to feel normal. I go to college in one week. Please tell me what I should do and may God bless you for anyone who responds.
BenBeach Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 So I had a meeting with a therapist today about the ending of a relationship with a woman with whom I was deeply in love. He shed some good light on thing I've going through, and I wanted to share it on here because it helped and I feel a bit better, I can take a breath again. Over the last month trying to get over her I've been just battling with my own mind, trying so hard to let her go, not think about her, etc... This therapist suggested that it would be helpful to stop battling with the same mind I'm trying to control... to realize that yes, there will be pain... but that's ok... learn to instead of trying to control your pain or your thoughts, just be there with it... know that yes, it will hurt, and over time that hurt will subside... if you take care of the minutes, the hours will take care of themselves, if you take care of the days the weeks will take care of themselves, etc... Don't try to control, instead accept. The hurt cannot harm you. I hope this helps some of you. Best. 2
Balzac Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 You asked so here it is. Embrace the full college experience. Open yourself up to meeting as many folks as you. An. It's a busy social experience. Work on personal growth, embrace new experiences and attitudes. Know that semester #1 is short, Thanksgiving aka Turkey Drop comes around quickly. Soon enough you'll discover that many first love, HS romances will be epic fails. The more you attempt to hang on, the longer you stretch out your misery. Who knows if your former GF can do the same. For now, each of you, individually would improve chances by NC, embracing the college experience and assembling a new social group. Good luck to you.
Vikki_26 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Thanks for sharing your advise, I really want to talk to someone but they never phone me back I share your heart break. 1
Author Future7 Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 You asked so here it is. Embrace the full college experience. Open yourself up to meeting as many folks as you. An. It's a busy social experience. Work on personal growth, embrace new experiences and attitudes. Know that semester #1 is short, Thanksgiving aka Turkey Drop comes around quickly. Soon enough you'll discover that many first love, HS romances will be epic fails. The more you attempt to hang on, the longer you stretch out your misery. Who knows if your former GF can do the same. For now, each of you, individually would improve chances by NC, embracing the college experience and assembling a new social group. Good luck to you. This advice is very good along with the first post. The pain still is great because it is first love, and seeing anything that reminds me of her hurts. I hope that going to college will show me the other side of the world, and if I do want to be with my ex I may try again with her another time. But advice from people I do not know helps with the unbiased part of it. What I really hope for is new social groups for her. It would get rid of these nasty friends.I just can't get over the fact that she thinks I cheated. I loved her.
Chi townD Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Dude, college is going to open your eyes to a lot of things. Embrace the experience! Each one of your classes; make sure you sit next to a cutie in each and every one of your classes. If the lecture is boring, at least you'll have something pretty to look at! Join clubs, get to know people, hang out with folks at the dorm.
Author Future7 Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 (edited) Its hard though because this is my best friend of 3.5 years. Edited August 14, 2012 by Future7
Author Future7 Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 I don't even know what to do because she is not in my life anymore. We talked every single day.
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