SSSOS Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 I'm in my early 50's. My GF of 1.5 years and I have had a very close loving relationship, and get along extremely well. She recently lost one of her children in a custody battle and has been troubled a great deal by that. Anyway, after a week apart (with her other child at Disney) she sprung the news on me over the phone that we are at a crossroads and she does not know what to do. Her fear is that if we stay together we will want to get married at some point (year or 2), but currently I cannot make her feel secure financially. Her ex was a deadbeat. After talking about a lot of things last night, she says still loves me and will give it a try, but after a sleepless night and reading a lot, it seems like I should not expect that to work, Should I contact her and try to build on giving it a try, or not contact her? Again, until last night I had thought that this was a great relationship.
flitzanu Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 i'm a firm believer in: "i don't know what i want" = "i don't fully feel that i want to be with YOU"
mike588 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 I'm in my early 50's. My GF of 1.5 years and I have had a very close loving relationship, and get along extremely well. She recently lost one of her children in a custody battle and has been troubled a great deal by that. Anyway, after a week apart (with her other child at Disney) she sprung the news on me over the phone that we are at a crossroads and she does not know what to do. Her fear is that if we stay together we will want to get married at some point (year or 2), but currently I cannot make her feel secure financially. Her ex was a deadbeat. After talking about a lot of things last night, she says still loves me and will give it a try, but after a sleepless night and reading a lot, it seems like I should not expect that to work, Should I contact her and try to build on giving it a try, or not contact her? Again, until last night I had thought that this was a great relationship. I'm getting close to 50 myself and the only thing I can offer is to let her know how you feel (if she doesn't already) that you love her and want things to work and your willing to discuss things...that you'll listen to her fears/concerns. After that leave her alone and let her decide what she wants and let her make the next move...move on (I know it's hard) with your life like it's over. Look out for yourself now and take care of yourself...you've heard about No Contact so start it now. Let her miss you...wonder about you..give her time/space to "figure things out". If you "pressure" her by calling/contacting her....bugging her it could only push her away....confuse her even more. In the long run she'll appreciate you giving her time and space (if there isn't someone else?)
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