These are the messages she sent me. Re-reading them...Wow.

[SeventhFloor]

Been broken up 1 month. She has been dating the new guy for 1 month. They dated in highschool, too. I have been NC for 1 month. I saw a picture of her a few days ago and it looks like she is wearing a promise ring. Its her birthday today.

 

Their anniversary is the same day as ours...and I don't think she cares. She cheated. Lied. Led me on. I confronted the guy, because he was taking her out on dates while we were still together and pretending to be my friend. I'd known him throughout our relationship. They started hanging out every day - I told her I was fine with them being friends, but as for them hanging out every day all the time I was uncomfortable with it, but she didn't care, up until she admitted she had feelings for him. So she went up to him and said, "We need to stop talking for a while - you're ruining my relationship." Instead of respecting that, he started hounding her every single day for dates, taking her out, etc etc...

 

Anyways. She started lying to both of us (to me: I want to be with you, to him: I want to be with YOU, I'm done with my "ex"). She was telling me how she wasn't going to be having sex with him, and then she did, so I messaged him and told him what was REALLY going on - I said the complete truth. I did this because I found out they had sex the same night she was kissing me, and she lied and ditched me to go have sex with him when I was with her in person. The same night, she was saying how she didn't want to have sex with him, how he was only a friend, etc etc... He THANKED me!

 

If you really want to know, this is the first post I made about it.

 

So he found out she was ****ing around with both of us, and lying to him and he "dumped" her. Of course, two days later they are in an official relationship. A day after he "dumped" her, these are the messages she sent me:

 

 

HER

I lost him as a friend

 

I cared for him a lot

 

I am devastated that he will no longer talk to me

 

Not only did I lose all faith in you as a person, I lost one of the best people that became my friend.

 

so you won.

 

I am trying hard to not have these horrible feelings for you

 

because I am enraged

 

I finally realized that he made me happy, that I wanted a relationship with him

 

and then I lost it

 

completely

 

I want to be with him

 

I cant

 

he had the most kind and gentle heart

 

his respect was unquestionably pure

 

he was a man

 

I realized that morning I was in love with him

 

and I felt so bad about telling you

 

that is the irony right? I loved someone.. who could make me happy like never before

 

and then I have nothing

 

ME

you loved him?

 

that quickly?

 

HER

YES

 

yes

 

ME

and how do you know that was true.

 

HER

my heart feels more alive around him like I have never felt before

 

I feel safe

 

I am happy

 

He is the best guy I know

 

ME

What about those e-mails you sent me after hooking up with him

 

"I feel empty with him."

 

HER

I was scared at my feelings

 

ME

"I want him to be my friend and you to be my family."

 

HER

I was confused

 

and my mind was saying different hten my heart

 

I should have listened to my heart

 

he has the most beautiful heart

 

ME

And how do you know he was true love?

 

HER

someone I would have been faithful and honest too

 

because I could feel it

 

I still do

 

ME

Throughout the beginning

 

You kept saying, "I don't LIKE him; only as a friend. I don't like kissing him, etc etc"

 

HER

I was afraid of how I felt

 

ME

You weren't being faithful nor honest to him frmo the start

 

HER

it is scary falling for someone

 

and I realize that I was completely honest but he knew EXACTLY that I was enidng a relationship

 

and I just wanted friendship

 

ME

Youre not ready for a relationship with him.

 

HER

I might not be ready

 

but you gave me absolutely no chance

 

I love him

 

I LOVE HIM

 

ME

How do you know this love is true?

 

HER

because it is far greater than any love I have experience

 

d

 

it is true

 

without question

 

without waiver

 

it is true

 

ME

How do you know it's not just infatuation

 

Or some kind of release?

 

HER

I know how infatuation feels

 

ME

Real love takes time to develop

 

HER

I know what a release it

 

it was starting to blossom

 

it was a gift to me that I have never felt

 

I would give anything and everything up for him

 

my regret is that I wish I would have known this sooner

 

I regret never feelign this way with you

 

but I do with him

 

ME

Are you sure that you are in LOVE with him?

 

Don't answer right away.

 

Take a moment to consider it.

 

Are you sure that these feelings are 100% genuine

 

And not just that you love his friendship, and him as a person

 

Do you love him enough that you'd marry him if he asked you tomorrow?

 

HER

 

I love him so much that if he doesnt want me in his life I would leave him to be with someone else that he could trust

 

-----

I'm re-reading this after a month... WHAT THE ****ING ****.

 

BONUS: Happy 100th post.

[threebyfate]

Notice how it was all about her? What part of deceitful, selfish bitch, is difficult to understand?

[Jono85]

are u guys 18 or something?? seriously how old, can't be more than 21..

 

and man reading that is cringe-worthy. how many times did u ask her if she was sure and how she knew etc etc. it was pathetic to be honest. also she had good motive to make u feel like crap, so obviously she was saying things she really had no business saying to u ("he is a man, u are not, i love him way more than i ever loved u...blah blah blah"). yet u took it all on the chin. like a sad puppy. learn from this. forget this girl. become a better man. this **** is like a soap opera. it's time to be around some more mature ppl.

[Blastoplast]

This is clearly black and white. She doesn't love you as much as this other guy and it sucks. I'd MUCH rather be in your situation than mine, where I could just cut ties and tell her to F*** off -- where mine is so multi-faceted and feels just wrong it makes me want to puke. Good luck, cut ties with her. You're clearly young, it will be for the better.

[yessy21]

Im sorry to say this but... she sounds like she doesnt know what she wants. WOw. what a waste of your time. Forget her.... she doesnt apparently know how to value a friendship nor a relationship. she sounds like she likes attention and wants what she cant have. Seriously do you want to be with someone who you cant trust?

[yessy21]

are u guys 18 or something?? seriously how old, can't be more than 21..

 

and man reading that is cringe-worthy. how many times did u ask her if she was sure and how she knew etc etc. it was pathetic to be honest. also she had good motive to make u feel like crap, so obviously she was saying things she really had no business saying to u ("he is a man, u are not, i love him way more than i ever loved u...blah blah blah"). yet u took it all on the chin. like a sad puppy. learn from this. forget this girl. become a better man. this **** is like a soap opera. it's time to be around some more mature ppl.

 

 

Couldnt have said it any ****ing better!

[SeventhFloor]

Yeah, I'm a ****ing idiot. But we were going through a lot. She was still telling me how much she loved me, and how she didn't love him and blah blah blah...

 

We're in our early 20's. My god, what a bitch.

[SeventhFloor]

See it's kind of a shock to your system when someone, a day earlier, says "I love you. I don't love him... I just don't know what I want (AKA, I want to have sex with him, but want you there for comfort)"

 

So when you wake up the next day to someone going, I love this other person more than I've ever even thought of loving you, It's kind of a shock and in your mind you're going, "WTF? What? Is this real? Are you kidding?"

 

Put yourself in my position and try to understand why I'd want to know if her love was real.

 

Then again, I found out: HER LOVE IS NOT REAL. SHE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS.

[threebyfate]

Yeah, I'm a ****ing idiot. But we were going through a lot. She was still telling me how much she loved me, and how she didn't love him and blah blah blah...

 

We're in our early 20's. My god, what a bitch.

Love isn't what she's giving either one of you. This is about her inflated ego.

[SeventhFloor]

Oh, and just a note, this was a month ago during our terribly painful breakup. If you'd like to see how I treated her last time I saw her, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/339948-emergency

 

There.

 

I am slowly becoming a man.

[SeventhFloor]

What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I still hurting over this girl!

 

Probably because she is pretty. She also has a lot of good qualities about her personality. And, at one point, I did see who she really was.

 

But man, after re-reading that, do I ever feel like a tard.

[jimloveslips]

This is really sad, I'm sure you are really upset, but by the time you get to be 13 you will have forgotten all about her, I promise...

 

See, don't you feel better already?

[SeventhFloor]

This is really sad, I'm sure you are really upset, but by the time you get to be 13 you will have forgotten all about her, I promise...

 

See, don't you feel better already?

 

That was very disrespectful. Do you know my story at all? Or what my relationship was like, or even breakup? I am posting this to re-hash what happened a month ago for realization and to move on.

 

I was called pathetic earlier in this thread. Well that is fine. How many people exhibit pathetic behavior during strenuous times? Practically all of us have been there. I am not ashamed of that.

 

If this is all the kind of stuff you have to say, then do not reply to my threads anymore.

[jimloveslips]

Dude, you wanna cry in public then some people are going to stare at you, and some are going to call you out for being a flake.

 

You asked for opinions, you got mine...

 

If it was too subtle for you - grow up, move on.

 

>I am slowly becoming a man.

 

Pick up the pace dude, you're getting left behind...

 

Stop thinking about the past, it's dragging you down, look to the future and embrace it... Stop looking at your feet and look at the babes walking past you... Guess what, they are living the same sucky life you are, help each other out of quagmire.

[LasVegasGuy]

Good god man, that was some hurtful crap she did, she tottaly denied you, made you seem like a dog and said everything that she could possibly say to hurt you.

 

I've never seen someone go out so far of there way to hurt someone. I would have done it a little different, I would have told her to go to hell and f off..but I know you meant well by letting her air her feelings out.

 

But you are in love with her still, therefore i would go NC.

[AlexCross]

Dude, you wanna cry in public then some people are going to stare at you, and some are going to call you out for being a flake.

 

You asked for opinions, you got mine...

 

If it was too subtle for you - grow up, move on.

 

>I am slowly becoming a man.

 

Pick up the pace dude, you're getting left behind...

 

Stop thinking about the past, it's dragging you down, look to the future and embrace it... Stop looking at your feet and look at the babes walking past you... Guess what, they are living the same sucky life you are, help each other out of quagmire.

 

Did you not read the thread that his friend was dieing or are you that retarded ? Men cry too. Boys like you belittle them.

[Tyler.]

No matter how much you loved her, just let it go. She's just rubbing it in dude, have some balls and tell her to **** off. Seriously, she is not a good person telling you these stuff about him. No ex of mine dared to tell me about these, because i don't take **** from them. Even if i see them with their new bfs or whatever, i just smile and keep being awesome Both of you guys should just tell her to **** off, seriously. She's a lying, cheating bitch. Any second you think of her is a second wasted. I'm dead serious, LET THE BITCH GO!

[dreamingoftigers]

Wow,

 

She's totally NPD. I would have to guess.

 

What a ridiculous, blame-shifting, RIDICULOUS ego on that one.

 

My. GOD.

 

I can't fathom what she must've put you through.

 

And SHE'S upset with YOU?

 

Man, the fusebox needs rewiring!

 

I'd be beyond embarassed and totally, grovellingly apologetic to two men I put through that kind of garbage.

I'd hide under the rock I slithered out from for a year.

 

Just be glad you caught this one in the dating stage. She's not seeming the type that would improve after a marriage.

 

Just. WOW!

[SeventhFloor]

Wow,

 

She's totally NPD. I would have to guess.

 

What a ridiculous, blame-shifting, RIDICULOUS ego on that one.

 

My. GOD.

 

I can't fathom what she must've put you through.

 

She put me through a lot, tigers. A lot. I've posted quite a bit on this forum, but a lot of the story has been left out.

 

And SHE'S upset with YOU?

 

Of course. I dedicated my life to her, did everything to make her happy, while she cheated and lied. Throughout all the bull****, forgiving her. I had evil moments - I will not lie. I had terrible, terrible moments and she understood. But it doesn't even compare to what she put me through.

 

Then I ruined her one true chance at happiness. Of course she's upset with me! I am the bad guy here!!! /sarcasm

 

At least, that's what her friends most likely think because they get the abridged version. Even though, EVEN THEY have to see "Week 1: With Guy #1 - Week 2: With Guy #2" - which has to look bad...but they love/support her anyways.

 

I'd be beyond embarassed and totally, grovellingly apologetic to two men I put through that kind of garbage.

I'd hide under the rock I slithered out from for a year.

 

Just be glad you caught this one in the dating stage. She's not seeming the type that would improve after a marriage.

 

Just. WOW!

 

She's texted me an apology. Has been trying to talk to me to relieve her guilt. No doubt she feels SOME sort of guilt...but even if that was true, I do believe it is BARELY ANY. Trust me, I've remained NC.

 

I hope it eats at her for the rest of her life - to have treated someone the way she did to me.

[SeventhFloor]

When we "broke up" (but her still saying let's work it out), within a matter of days (3) he was telling her how she was the one, how he's never loved a girl like her before, how he wants her to move in with him, etc...

 

Idiot.

 

I wonder what my ex would do if I sent her all of these messages.

[silic0ntoad]

Well, NC it is, bro. I haven't posted here in a while. I did the whole NC thing, worked out well. Just stick to it, work on you.

 

Define who you are. And honestly, this mare ain't worth your time. I know it's cliche, but in time, and on another day, you'll agree.

[NailBiter]

She sounds like a complete ****ing psycho. Be happy that you get out of there before you became even more attached.

[D-One]

Just reading through the forum and came across your story. Holy sh*t man that was brutal to read. I know how it is for an ex to tell you she loves you and want to work it out but in the same breath tell another man how he's number one in her life. Keep strong

[Phanpooh]

My ex told me try to live healthy for her. And at that time, she is in her "just a friend" 's bed. However, mine and yours r the same kind person. And happily, we saved our time. Next year, u will be a person who make u smile for things happened