kourix Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 well, that's my question... how do you let go? how do I let go? what if you have nothing to keep busy with? what if he's right there, when you want him... and you had the choice to carry on living in a fake dream but you know it'll never work and then you take that step, to end things, only to feel this tremendous ache in your heart and you want to take back all your words but you know you can't. you have no choice but to let go. how do you do it? how do you stop yourself from thinking about him all the time, wondering what he's doing, knowing all you want to do is be with him... but he will never love you. sure, i could pretend, and hope in silence that his feelings would change in time, but i know it won't. i really, really liked him, i stlll really, really like him... what else can i do? and how do i hide the pain? how do i cut to NC when all i wanna do everything is text him, he understands me very well, he knows so much about me, we're so natural. i wish i could fast forward 5 years.
Sav Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 well, that's my question... how do you let go? how do I let go? what if you have nothing to keep busy with? what if he's right there, when you want him... and you had the choice to carry on living in a fake dream but you know it'll never work and then you take that step, to end things, only to feel this tremendous ache in your heart and you want to take back all your words but you know you can't. you have no choice but to let go. how do you do it? how do you stop yourself from thinking about him all the time, wondering what he's doing, knowing all you want to do is be with him... but he will never love you. sure, i could pretend, and hope in silence that his feelings would change in time, but i know it won't. i really, really liked him, i stlll really, really like him... what else can i do? and how do i hide the pain? how do i cut to NC when all i wanna do everything is text him, he understands me very well, he knows so much about me, we're so natural. i wish i could fast forward 5 years. Most of us here want to text our ex, call our ex. We all understand. But for ourselves, we have to do NC in order to heal. Think about it, while you wallow in self-pity, he is out living his life without a care. Don't for one second think you're alone, we all know your pain. And the only way to get through that pain is NC. Even if you guys get back together, it will be different. So you have to work on the issues that broke you guys up before even attempting to do anything else. And that means going NC and focusing on yourself, improving yourself.
big bear Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 Well I have had this ache and let me tell you, it's not easy. But I can assure you one thing, "This too shall pass." Don't just keep day dreaming, take concrete steps and live in the moment. Target one good week, good day or even an hour. It's a slow and tough process, but trust me along the way you will see that you are much more stronger after this.
Appleness Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 Kourix, The fact that you still really, really, really like him is more than enough reason to let go if he doesn't feel the same for you. He's not happy and you won't be either because you'll walk on eggshells trying to please him. Trust me, if you didn't feel that, then you will had you stayed. You'll find that your feelings have gone from thinking "Oh my gosh, this is the most wonderful person ever!" to thinking "Oh my gosh if I didn't love you, I'd have poisoned your coffee this morning." You don't want that. For lots of us, the mere fact that we open our hearts to someone will (over time) make that person our best friend and it's really hard to throw that away. Love is food for the soul and you're trying to not eat. It's more than just depriving yourself of the emotional, you're kicking a habit as well. But if this person doesn't treat you right and love you back or isn't in it for the long haul then quitting is the right thing to do. You're trying to commit to a life of eating double cheeseburgers, extra large fries, and milk shakes with extra whipped cream. Feels great when you're there eating but you feel awful afterwards and wonder why you did that. The fact that you're here posting means that you know what's right for you in the long term. You'll get through it. So many of us have. No one ever really has "nothing to do." Join a gym, do meetups, volunteer, take a dance class, watch movies, go get a massage... whatever makes you feel BEAUTIFUL and HAPPY! This is the start of a new stage in life and it'll be hard. If it was easy then it wouldn't be memorable and you wouldn't cherish it as much. Take it easy and take one day at a time. Good luck.
Author kourix Posted August 13, 2012 Author Posted August 13, 2012 Kourix, The fact that you still really, really, really like him is more than enough reason to let go if he doesn't feel the same for you. He's not happy and you won't be either because you'll walk on eggshells trying to please him. Trust me, if you didn't feel that, then you will had you stayed. You'll find that your feelings have gone from thinking "Oh my gosh, this is the most wonderful person ever!" to thinking "Oh my gosh if I didn't love you, I'd have poisoned your coffee this morning." You don't want that. yes, i knew i wasn't his happiness, that's why i lied and said told him i moved on. that was the only way i could get him to leave me alone. we've been stuck in this limbo for months now, we hang out every week and act like a couple and he totally enjoys that. but at the back of my mind, i was always afraid he was gonna "dump" me when he found someone else. awhile back i thought things changed... but i was wrong. i see him every week - and now i can't. and i don't have anyone else to turn to. we have a long weekend coming up, would have loved to spend it with him. but another reason why i lied to him was so i couldn't backtrack and look like an idiot if he asked "why do you wanna spend time with me when you've moved on?" people have told me to just accept what we were and enjoy what we have, why couldn't i just have done that? we were having a good time, and this stupid brain of mine had to rationalize and ruin my life. i could die tomorrow, and i would die a sad person instead of a happy camper just enjoying what life had to offer for now...
youngnlove89 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 well, that's my question... how do you let go? how do I let go? what if you have nothing to keep busy with? what if he's right there, when you want him... and you had the choice to carry on living in a fake dream but you know it'll never work and then you take that step, to end things, only to feel this tremendous ache in your heart and you want to take back all your words but you know you can't. you have no choice but to let go. how do you do it? how do you stop yourself from thinking about him all the time, wondering what he's doing, knowing all you want to do is be with him... but he will never love you. sure, i could pretend, and hope in silence that his feelings would change in time, but i know it won't. i really, really liked him, i stlll really, really like him... what else can i do? and how do i hide the pain? how do i cut to NC when all i wanna do everything is text him, he understands me very well, he knows so much about me, we're so natural. i wish i could fast forward 5 years. I'm right here with you! I'm letting go of my ex who doesn't appreciate me and golly, is it ever hard. But he is my best friend. I'm going to miss that. But I'm holding onto comfort and familiarity. I need to let that go. Compose a list of reasons why you are thinking this way and re-read those reasons over and over everytime you get weak. Don't forget that you are doing the right thing. "A courageous woman knows what she wants and walks away when her needs aren't met" If letting go is easier than holding on to hurt, then let go.
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