FaithInTheDark Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 I met this guy on facebook. We talked for over a year and told me how nuch he wanted to hang out. We live 8 hrs apart. I made a visit his way to see friends and he asked to hang out. So we Did. And hit it off so well. He is my type in every way. We hung out for 4 days out of my time there. He told me how into me He was and everything.i decided to stay in town for my birthday,i admit all i wanted to do was see him. But He didnt reply to my msgs until i called him on it. But he seemed so much more distant...i went home and posted pics on Facebook ans tagged him in a few... He removed them ofd his fb and that hurt my feelings. I texted him the other day i texted him saying if i was a drunk idiot the last time we hung out but he said i waant at all and He thinks im Awesome. I told him how i was offered a job in his city but my moms really sick and He never texted back. I admit his lack of communication has showen He doesnt care... He seemed so interested before , it kills me Hes being like this...what Did i do..hes being à jerk but i need closure. Whyyyyyyy Did He back off like this?? Help.
dropdeadredtx Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 He was never into you, just killing time.
Later82012 Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 I met this guy on facebook. We talked for over a year and told me how nuch he wanted to hang out. We live 8 hrs apart. I made a visit his way to see friends and he asked to hang out. So we Did. And hit it off so well. He is my type in every way. We hung out for 4 days out of my time there. He told me how into me He was and everything.i decided to stay in town for my birthday,i admit all i wanted to do was see him. But He didnt reply to my msgs until i called him on it. But he seemed so much more distant...i went home and posted pics on Facebook ans tagged him in a few... He removed them ofd his fb and that hurt my feelings. I texted him the other day i texted him saying if i was a drunk idiot the last time we hung out but he said i waant at all and He thinks im Awesome. I told him how i was offered a job in his city but my moms really sick and He never texted back. I admit his lack of communication has showen He doesnt care... He seemed so interested before , it kills me Hes being like this...what Did i do..hes being à jerk but i need closure. Whyyyyyyy Did He back off like this?? Help. It is most likely he found someone else or he could be someone that doesn't want any LTRs at the moment. Ask him to be a man and tell you the truth, but are you prepared to listen to what he says? Why care about someone that doesn't care about your feelings? Down the line if he comes back give him the finger. 1
Lamplight Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 He has someone else. That's why he deleted the pictures. You should put them back out there so his girlfriend finds about you. 1
Author FaithInTheDark Posted August 12, 2012 Author Posted August 12, 2012 Your right, why care about someone that doesnt care? Id like to ask him about it but Im afraid to look clingy? Im not sure what to Say. I cant help but Feel extremely depressed about this disapointment
tigressA Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 If he wanted to hang out so badly, he would've come to you and not just talked your ear off about it. Instead, you did all the work for him, offering yourself up to him akin to a pizza delivery. He was never that interested, and you going to him made him even less interested. As the first respondent said, he was merely killing time. Delete this guy from your phone. Don't bother with retagging the Facebook pics or whatever else. And pay attention to a man's actions next time. 1
Author FaithInTheDark Posted August 12, 2012 Author Posted August 12, 2012 Your so right, He must be seein someone.
lovejoy41 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 (edited) I agree with LampLight and Later82012, He most likely has a g/f which is why he removed the pics or he isn't looking for anything serious and doesn't want you messing up his game with pics of you on his page. Don't waste your time trying to pursue someone who is not pursuing you. He is responding to you when he feels like it. If you drag this out he will eventually either cut contact with you completely or he will "benefit" from it at his convenience and that will only damage you further. Recognize the red flags now, don't invest in it. Walk away from it while your heart is still intact. If this is what it's at now after 1 year, don't expect things to change later. I tell anyone who's in something like this to walk for their own good. Most LS's on here know my story. Don't invest not 1 more min, 1 more day, or 1 more week into someone who's not invested in you as much as you are in them. Take that from a woman who walked away from 5 a year FWB!(shamefully it took me that long). If you don't believe it, check out my post under "FWB sucks/5Foolish Years" under Friends and Lovers forum. Trust me, walk away now! Like "Later82012" said, IF he should come back when whatever he's got going on now fizzles, ignore him. I didn't tell him(my friend) a thing, I didn't see the need to since he didn't tell me about the new gf he had living with him & that she'd already met his family. I just walked away. I have not seen him in 1 1/2 months& I am 2 weeks 2 days into no contact. He contacted me via text on 8/3, 1 week after I went into NC on him. I ignored it. I have no more of my time to waste with him. It's just preventing me from having the man I truly deserve. If I can do that after 5 years, you can do it too. Good Luck and keep us posted. Edited August 13, 2012 by lovejoy41 2
Later82012 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 Your right, why care about someone that doesnt care? Id like to ask him about it but Im afraid to look clingy? Im not sure what to Say. I cant help but Feel extremely depressed about this disapointment Keep yourself busy and de-friend him from your Facebook account and you will forget him in no time. lovejoy41 speaks from experience. I wish this quote was mine, but see this quote below: "Some people learn from their mistakes, but smart people learn from other people's mistakes." I am sure you'd like to be the smart one. 1
Pasttense Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 "We talked for over a year". Perhaps the fantasy of you that he built up during that year didn't match the real you. Fantasies can be perfect; real people rarely are. 2
SJC2008 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 Crazy story! Who requested who? Any mutual friends? If not that's an odd request given yalls distance and the no mutal friends IMO. Now during this 1 year of talking was it platonic or was there ever any talk of dating? We're you seeing anyone during this time frame? Lastly did you sleep with him? Please tell me no.
Author FaithInTheDark Posted August 13, 2012 Author Posted August 13, 2012 wow guys ,,,those are some extremely cold words, i didnt expect you to spare my feelings but ****.. he requested me, we have lots of mutual friends...we talked alot and have similar humor and interests...the frist time i ever heard from him, he said i seemed like a cool girl and he wanted to get to know me. after talking down the road things got flirty, he told me how he mad a crush on me and wanted me to visit him ..blah blah blah. maybe you are right, i wasnt the awesome fantasy he expected , i dont understand why u would say his gf is better looking than me. pretty ignorant if u ask me. i was seeing ppl on and off and i know he had a gf for a long time while we were talking, they broke up , got back together ...etc. but i know they ended it a couple months ago... anyways im working on moving on. i just dont want to blame myself or tell myself that im not good enuff for him. i honestly feel pretty insignificant at the moment. i appreciate the advice from most of you, lovejoy you have some really good advice that put alot of things into perspective. thank you
Later82012 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 i just dont want to blame myself or tell myself that im not good enuff for him. i honestly feel pretty insignificant at the moment. This is nonsense. You are crazy for thinking you are not good enough for him. Btw, what is being good enough for somebody? I do not understand this concept. People are either compatible or not compatible. You are what you are and let people take it or leave it. You should know for every such person as this guy who doesn't care about your love there is at least one more looking for love. You might not be significant to just this one person, but you are significant to a lot of people in your life - your friends, your family...... 2
Emilia Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 wow guys ,,,those are some extremely cold words, i didnt expect you to spare my feelings but ****.. he requested me, we have lots of mutual friends...we talked alot and have similar humor and interests...the frist time i ever heard from him, he said i seemed like a cool girl and he wanted to get to know me. after talking down the road things got flirty, he told me how he mad a crush on me and wanted me to visit him ..blah blah blah. maybe you are right, i wasnt the awesome fantasy he expected , i dont understand why u would say his gf is better looking than me. pretty ignorant if u ask me. i was seeing ppl on and off and i know he had a gf for a long time while we were talking, they broke up , got back together ...etc. but i know they ended it a couple months ago... anyways im working on moving on. i just dont want to blame myself or tell myself that im not good enuff for him. i honestly feel pretty insignificant at the moment. i appreciate the advice from most of you, lovejoy you have some really good advice that put alot of things into perspective. thank you Some bitter guys here just want to make you feel bad about yourself because you are a woman and they struggle with dating. It's something you have to get used to in real life too I'm afraid. On the original post: he had a gf for most of the time while you talked, they were on/off. Maybe he is back with her maybe he isn't but clearly his private life is a mess. He is likely to be the kind of person who doesn't know what he wants and he mucks people about as a result. In the future find guys that act in a decisive manner and are very demonstrative of what they want. Also, don't flirt/message with a man who has a girlfriend. They are not the kind you want in your life. 1
HeavenOrHell Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 (edited) Childish game playing. He doesn't necessarily have someone else, although sounds like he wasn't totally moved on from his ex, it sounds like he wasn't into you enough to want to meet up again, no-one's fault, it's just the way it is. People never know if they will click unless they meet IRL, some will click, some won't. He has someone else. That's why he deleted the pictures. You should put them back out there so his girlfriend finds about you. Edited August 13, 2012 by HeavenOrHell
Author FaithInTheDark Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 I'm really movin on from this dude, its been a week since I heard from him last...would I look like a physco if I asked why He took down the pics and if I asked what's up dont seem to hear from you anymore?
mortensorchid Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 THis guy is a loser. You were decent enough to give him the time of day, and he's still not appreciating you. You should not have driven 8 hrs to see him, he should've come to you if he wanted to meet you so bad. And now that you have, he is feeling all cock sure and knows he's got you. Think he's going to even respond to you? He won't. Move on.
Author FaithInTheDark Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 No no, i didnt drive 8 hours just to see him. I was visiting friends and fam. And planned to see him while i was down there. I guess i would like some answers. But your right, **** him
Emilia Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I'm really movin on from this dude, its been a week since I heard from him last...would I look like a physco if I asked why He took down the pics and if I asked what's up dont seem to hear from you anymore? I think you should practice your 'f**k him, I'm moving on' skills by ignoring him completely.
truth_seeker Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 In his mind he felt he had you. Sometimes that's all a person needs.
Author FaithInTheDark Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 So i asked him Why He took down the pics....He replied "Nooooo, Its not even like that, i looked drunk and High in the pics and really dont want my family to see, they worry about me.no dissrespect to u at all..we will have to get Nice sober pics When Im in your town" i 1
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