awesomeusername Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 So my boyfriend went out of state this weekend (4 day weekend) to visit family and friends. He has not called me once! And it's been 3 days. He texted me once yesterday to ask how I was and that was it. (We have been together for almost 2 years) A couple weekends ago I went back home to visit my family and friends and made an effort to call him at LEAST once a day because I wanted to and because I missed him and love him and wanted to hear his voice. Why hasn't he called me? I know you will say "the phone works both ways" but he is with family/friends and I don't want to interrupt him. I just figured he would WANT to hear my voice. I just feel like he hasn't even thought of me.
AlexCross Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 So my boyfriend went out of state this weekend (4 day weekend) to visit family and friends. He has not called me once! And it's been 3 days. He texted me once yesterday to ask how I was and that was it. (We have been together for almost 2 years) A couple weekends ago I went back home to visit my family and friends and made an effort to call him at LEAST once a day because I wanted to and because I missed him and love him and wanted to hear his voice. Why hasn't he called me? I know you will say "the phone works both ways" but he is with family/friends and I don't want to interrupt him. I just figured he would WANT to hear my voice. I just feel like he hasn't even thought of me. Is this normal behavior for him ? Maybe he is having a good time.
Author awesomeusername Posted August 12, 2012 Author Posted August 12, 2012 Is this normal behavior for him ? Maybe he is having a good time. Not really normal, we talk every night. But things have been different lately. I don't know how to feel.
MrCastle Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 You can, of course, end the stalemate by contacting him first and gauging his interest level.
Author awesomeusername Posted August 12, 2012 Author Posted August 12, 2012 You can, of course, end the stalemate by contacting him first and gauging his interest level. I did, I texted him "hey babe, hope you are having a good time, haven't heard from you in awhile..." No response.
MrCastle Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 I did, I texted him "hey babe, hope you are having a good time, haven't heard from you in awhile..." No response. So he's probably busy. No more contacting him until he contacts you.
Author awesomeusername Posted August 12, 2012 Author Posted August 12, 2012 So he's probably busy. No more contacting him until he contacts you. he did and then he tells me he went to a strip club. lovely
xpaperxcutx Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 he did and then he tells me he went to a strip club. lovely Change of behavior indicate he has someyhi.g to hide. And its after the fact he decidedto tells you he went. And its an issue that u require constant contactg from him. Its good to be consistent with a hi here and there but to expect him to call you everyday is needy.
threebyfate Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 He might not be calling for numerous reasons which this site can't possibly know any better than you can, especially since you should know him far better than the rest of us. But if his actions don't come across as loving to you, all you can do is discuss it with him when he comes home. What he says will drive what actions you choose to take.
jocy_20 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 If he didn't tell you that he can't talk, call him. I learned that it's ok to call even if they may not have called, they may just be having a good time and got side tracked. It's better to ease your conscious and call instead of letting your mind go into thinking negative things. Just my experience and opinion. If you call and they say they do not want to talk, you have an answer and go from their. Either way, you got a response.
mortensorchid Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 Maybe he's just doing other things since he's away. I know it's kind of disconcerting when someone leaves for a while and doesn't contact you for whatever reason. I hope something positive happens.
Author awesomeusername Posted August 13, 2012 Author Posted August 13, 2012 Well we did talk and I asked if he went to a strip club and he said he did but the moment he walked in he didn't to be there. (his buddies were the ones who wanted to go and it's a ritual for them but he hates them) it was too smokey so they ended up leaving. I told him how I'm not very fond of strip clubs but I'm not mad at him, just disappointed because here I am at home by myself and he is out there looking at beautiful naked woman. It's in a way disrespectful (that is my OWN opinion). He told me there were no beautiful woman and to trust him because I have nothing to worry about. He even mentioned how his friend offered to buy him a lap dance and he told him he wasn't interested. I believe him. I have to trust him because he could have lied about going to the strip club and I would have never found out. But instead he told me. I was upset he didn't contact me very much but I didn't mention I was upset about it. And he did respond fairly quick when I contacted him. I guess I got upset over nothing. I just know he has commitment issues and I get worried sometimes. I guess you can say I'm insecure but he has left me twice in our relationship and I'm afraid he will again.
nessaaa Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 Lol... That's always a mans excuse for going to a strip club, it's always their friends idea. I've heard that excuse so many times. Actually made me chuckle when I read that. And you're in denial, your gut feeling is telling you something isn't right and u keep blocking it. Learn the hard way then. A man that loves you WILL call contact you no matter what. Even a simple text.. Doesn't take much effort no matter how busy.. He could have even sent you a text while taking a dump.too busy my ass. You weren't on his mind. Well we did talk and I asked if he went to a strip club and he said he did but the moment he walked in he didn't to be there. (his buddies were the ones who wanted to go and it's a ritual for them but he hates them) it was too smokey so they ended up leaving. I told him how I'm not very fond of strip clubs but I'm not mad at him, just disappointed because here I am at home by myself and he is out there looking at beautiful naked woman. It's in a way disrespectful (that is my OWN opinion). He told me there were no beautiful woman and to trust him because I have nothing to worry about. He even mentioned how his friend offered to buy him a lap dance and he told him he wasn't interested. I believe him. I have to trust him because he could have lied about going to the strip club and I would have never found out. But instead he told me. I was upset he didn't contact me very much but I didn't mention I was upset about it. And he did respond fairly quick when I contacted him. I guess I got upset over nothing. I just know he has commitment issues and I get worried sometimes. I guess you can say I'm insecure but he has left me twice in our relationship and I'm afraid he will again. 1
nessaaa Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 He has commitment issues and has left you before.... Hmmm, i wonder why you're insecure. Find someone you feel safe with then, no? I don't like this guy. Something fishy is going on. Well we did talk and I asked if he went to a strip club and he said he did but the moment he walked in he didn't to be there. (his buddies were the ones who wanted to go and it's a ritual for them but he hates them) it was too smokey so they ended up leaving. I told him how I'm not very fond of strip clubs but I'm not mad at him, just disappointed because here I am at home by myself and he is out there looking at beautiful naked woman. It's in a way disrespectful (that is my OWN opinion). He told me there were no beautiful woman and to trust him because I have nothing to worry about. He even mentioned how his friend offered to buy him a lap dance and he told him he wasn't interested. I believe him. I have to trust him because he could have lied about going to the strip club and I would have never found out. But instead he told me. I was upset he didn't contact me very much but I didn't mention I was upset about it. And he did respond fairly quick when I contacted him. I guess I got upset over nothing. I just know he has commitment issues and I get worried sometimes. I guess you can say I'm insecure but he has left me twice in our relationship and I'm afraid he will again.
nessaaa Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 and another thing... Even when you do find a guy u feel safe with.. He will eff up sooner or later... So u lose either way. Have fun..that's how it is so stop your crying and accept it.
Author awesomeusername Posted August 13, 2012 Author Posted August 13, 2012 and another thing... Even when you do find a guy u feel safe with.. He will eff up sooner or later... So u lose either way. Have fun..that's how it is so stop your crying and accept it. Why are you so negative? I don't mean to say that in a mean way but why so bitter? Have you been in the place I am in now? You are right though. Something is fishy. but what am i supposed to do
nessaaa Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 Why are you so negative? I don't mean to say that in a mean way but why so bitter? Have you been in the place I am in now? You are right though. Something is fishy. but what am i supposed to do I'm not bitter, I'm just saying how it is.. I'm in fantasy world like most people. I'm not trying to be mean either.. Just want you to open your eyes. What are you suppose to do?.... I don't know. If I felt something wasn't right, I'd snoop around, check his phone, facebook, emails, go through his computer.. But that's just me, becuase if I find out he's being shady at least I'd know now and move on, stop wasting time. I never use to be like that until I met my ex, would never check his phone. Have u checked his phone or anything?
jocy_20 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 Lol... That's always a mans excuse for going to a strip club, it's always their friends idea. I've heard that excuse so many times. Actually made me chuckle when I read that. And you're in denial, your gut feeling is telling you something isn't right and u keep blocking it. Learn the hard way then. A man that loves you WILL call contact you no matter what. Even a simple text.. Doesn't take much effort no matter how busy.. He could have even sent you a text while taking a dump.too busy my ass. You weren't on his mind. I agree with you their. My bf actually calls me on when he's taking a dump, call when headed to work, getting off work, and when he's out with his buddies fishing. Their really isn't an excuse, u can do anything IF you want. You shouldn't block the gut feelings because they do mean something, u need to accept it or make him understand how you feel. My bf use to tell me, "remember I'm still a man, I'm trying hard to protect how you feel when it come to emotioanl things, I'm tryin but know that I'm trying." I appreciate him more for letting me know that he acknowledges my feelings so I acknowledge his. 1
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